Date: 21 Jul 2013 00:53 Title: Chapter 1
For Bethany, the sweetness of this moment is that Hank is her safe place. Even though, understandably, she does wonder just a little bit at the end. After all, she is alone with a boy, in a house. Good on her for diverting away from a movie. She was right; that could have its own baggage attached.
Date: 17 Jul 2013 01:11 Title: Chapter 1
I loved the juxtaposition of the warmth and cold. You have the storm she's running through, vulnerable to the elements of weather (the freezing cold) as well as the elements of her home, and she is very exposed to both (you even comment that "even Andorians bundle up" or something to that effect, and she is very clearly NOT). And then she gets to Hank's, to this refuge and there is nothing but warmth, both physically and psychologically for Bethany. Hank doesn't brush off the fact that she is scared and that her world is flipping all kinds of wonky, but he also (naturally) gives her that refuge from the storm that she needs, letting her focus on chocolate (hooray for girls, even alien ones, liking chocolate, lol) and a movie and a game and anything other than her own problems and fears.
I also love the look at the young Beth and Hank. It's always fun to go backwards in your characters' lives and explore what they were like, what happened to them to get them to where they are in the present. This was very well done.
Author's Response:
Thanks TS! Yeah, Hank and Bethany at a young age were all kinds of sweet and the relationship was very much in it's infant stages, but it would grow in the coming years. I didn't mean to do anything with the juxtaposition between the warm and the cold at all ... at least, not on purpose. I just wrote it that way. I'm glad it read well to you and you enjoyed the younger look into the two's lives. The relationship between them evolves over the many years they know one another. Thanks for the review :)
Date: 15 Jul 2013 22:40 Title: Chapter 1
Ah, Bethany. Been there, done that, though I was older. You have one word up there which is 'than' and should be 'that', but otherwise, it's really smooth. Little Bethany and Hank are adorable, through and through, and I love how they were essentially not high school sweethearts, but also were, in a way. I like how even tempered and cool about it all Hank is, even so young himself; you can see where the solid foundation of his family carries him into adulthood with confidence.
I also really love how gentle this piece is. It's warm, and kind, and I've been that mixed up teenage girl myself, so it was no trouble putting myself in Bethany's shoes. Or lack thereof. I'm really glad she had this one warm spot in the universe to retreat to when things were bad.
Author's Response:
Thanks for the error spotting, it has been corrected.
And yes, Bethany's childhood is rough in spots and finding Hank is really a lucky stroke. He's a few years older than her, has seen a bit more in his young life, and as you've pointed out, has a stable upbringing that allows him to keep his cool. Bethany and he were not high school sweethearts ... friends, yes, best friends, definitely, but Hank never took it to sweetheart territory, at least not in the traditional sense. Bethany, for her part, never thought of Hank that way in high school. Not really, though I'm sure she had a few feelings here and there. Thanks for the review. :)