Reviewer: SLWatson Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Apr 2009 16:27 Title: Chapter One - Part Four

Copied from the Omega Sector:

That's a pretty good start to the whole tale! The characters are interesting; the political systems in place are very interesting. I enjoyed the descriptions of the Shentarians for selfish reasons, but so far it looks like a good start to a long tale. Glad you posted it like this!

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The pacing is much better in this section. It moves more quickly. Beth is still likable; she veers a little towards Mary Sue territory on occasion, but her personality usually yanks her back on track. Particularly in this last part where she's confronting her mother about the difficulties that come with her empathic abilities. (That's not meant as an insult! She has two exceptional parents and is bound to be ahead of the curve given her upbringing; unless she turns into Marissa, she'll be fine, I would just like to see a bit more of her weaknesses to balance out her talents.)

I think the biggest thing I would love to see you explore with Beth (and you may, I haven't finished reading yet) is the sheer weight of command. Even a veteran, even someone with experience, her age is still one where she's bound to have some insecurities lurking in her about whether she is actually ready for this level of responsibility. Even the most exceptional people are still people -- I'm twenty-eight, a mother, a wife, worked my whole life, faced things most people never do (at least once involving a gun) and even with a decent level of self-confidence and experience, I struggle with some insecurities. I can't fathom what it would be like to be ultimately responsible for a starship, and all those people, without having those moments where I genuinely question my readiness. Even if it was my dream.

I know, I'm rambling.

But it is a good story, and well-recommended. The writing style's clean, and once the pacing picks up here in this parts, it reads fast and comfortably. I like how you've developed Will and Deanna and how you've characterized them here. I really adore the way that Beth and Bill had it out in their youth and raged, then become so close -- that's a lovely thing.

Reviewer: Gibraltar Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Feb 2009 19:53 Title: Inspiration

This story is nothing short of epic.

The care that is taken here with the characters from TNG that we've come to know and love is obvious. They sound and act just as they should, given the passage of time and the events that they've survived along the way.

Elizabeth Riker is a character that could have easily become a caricature. She's a born starship captain, a prodigy from a Starfleet family made all the stronger for the hell she was subjected to at Starfleet Academy.

However, Terilynn makes Beth a flawed, feeling person rife with doubts and her own failings. Beth has survived a long and protracted war with a new enemy, and bears the scars from those desperate engagements. She's lost friends and comrades, which affects how she relates to those around her and those under her command.

The technique of presenting the story in a linear fashion that includes multiple flashbacks to crucial past events helps the reader to get a definitive view of the characters and those experiences that have made them who they are in the present. It's an effective tool, and works very well here.

The dialogue is phenomenal, at points awkward, hurtful, and impassioned as these characters struggle against the obstacles set before them, occasionally bruising each other in the process. Especially amusing is the strong bonds and witty repartee between the Cat captains. I absolutely loved their unique group motto!

Beth's unique relationship with Q is a standout point in her character. Of all those the mischievous quasi-deity has tormented, Beth understands him best, and can actually converse with Q without sounding like a broken record endless repeating, 'Why are you here?' and 'Get off my ship!' Her rapport with Q is more like that of Janeway than Picard, Sisko, or Will Riker. When Q speaks, she actually listens.

The battle scenes in the story are action-packed, well-paced, and thrilling in their intensity. It's not often one finds a fanfic author who can master both the interpersonal relationships and dialogue of their characters, as well as pull off amazing combat scenes. Terilynn is the full meal deal.

I'm glad I took my time to savor this story, because I ultimately found it fulfilling on a number of levels.

I would highly recommend readers make the investment in reading this powerful, complex story.

 

Author's Response: You honor me in ways I cannot express. Thank you.