Date: 15 Dec 2013 20:48 Title: Chapter 5
Now what is going on? Uhura not her usual happy self about this world that needs some sort of medical aid. Plus we learn more about our strange Andorian-Vulcan commodore doctor. You do a fine job of answering one mystery and replace it with another. Does make this story a page turner.
Date: 15 Dec 2013 20:40 Title: Chapter 4
Peculiar, I still don’t know if I trust the Medical Commodore, and know we going down the black ops route to rescue Amanda. Why do I think someone in Starfleet has forgotten that no plan survives contact with the enemy?
Plus I’m wondering who be foolish enough to try and get at a Vulcan ambassador through there family.
Date: 15 Dec 2013 20:33 Title: Chapter 3
So the mystery continues to deepen and the suspense builds further.
Still that final line does seem to fit Spock well and show how in his own way he thinks of McCoy as a friend.
Date: 15 Dec 2013 20:00 Title: Chapter 2
Well an interesting second chapter, again the character voice does seem to flow right and in character. So McCoy does recorgnise the mystery medical commodore, which only add to the mystery and then her half collapse, and her private thoughts about her secret orders, all indicate something odd.
Well done on maintaining the mystery while answering some early questions.
Date: 15 Dec 2013 19:53 Title: Chapter 1
Solid start to this story was an interesting choice to open with and the canon characters all seem to be acting in character. The mystery of the attacker and Kirk injuries and pains but one does wonder what sleep and the next shift will bring our good captain.
Date: 13 Dec 2013 22:14 Title: Chapter 1
Intriguing! By one of us, does Scotty mean a human or a member of Starfleet? A great way to end the chapter, giving us a hook to reel us in to the following entry in the story! :)
You did a great job of presenting us the Kirk we know and love - close to his crew, protective of his ship, stubborn and determined, unwilling to back down when provoked although wishing for a more peaceful solution. I especially enjoyed his refusal to admit he was injured and to leave things in Spock's hands, which makes the fact that at the end he is unable to investigate this mystery provide all the more emphasis of how much pain he must actually be in. (ok that last sentence got away from me a little... ;) )
The opening to the story was nicely done, providing the sort of glimpse into life aboard the Enterprise we were more used to seeing on NextGen than on the Original Series. Whether intentional or not, it was a clever nod to that later Starfleet. All in all, a very good beginning!
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Captain Sarine. I appreciate the review. The glimpse into life aboard ship is what I've always loved about the Next Generation, and I enjoy imagining what form that might have taken in the Original Series.
Date: 28 May 2013 17:40 Title: Chapter 1
So! We have the end of A Midsummer Night's Dream. We have an attack by an unknown vessel, but with at least one -- of us. That might mean human, might mean Starfleet, might mean humanoid, might mean mortal, might mean Milky Way galaxy. Plus we have the Captain in far more distress than not only he is letting on, but also far more than Spock observed/Kirk is getting progressively worse.
Let's see where you go with this.