Date: 25 May 2013 11:01 Title: Possibilities
Great imagery, clever foreshadowing
Date: 25 May 2013 10:58 Title: Turning Point
You've built a really strong picture of the driving forces in McCoy's life
Date: 25 May 2013 10:50 Title: Crossroads
*Very* nice! Struck by the personal drama
Date: 25 May 2013 10:16 Title: Second Chances
Builds a really strong picture of the situation
Date: 25 May 2013 10:11 Title: Forrest
Great work! Well paced and evocative
Date: 25 May 2013 09:53 Title: Forrest
That's what parents do for our kids, though. We absorb all those bad feelings so our kids don't have to carry them anymore. A beautiful, poignant little piece.
Date: 25 May 2013 04:24 Title: Possibilities
I do hope that, someday, you get a chance to write an AU where things maybe do work out.
Author's Response:
That's an interesting thought--one I hadn't considered. I think it would be tough, though. Just as Jim Kirk was perfectly suited to be captain of a starship, it is McCoy's destiny to be a doctor. If he does find a way to nuture a happy family life it will come at the expense of his career. In that case, he'll be the one bothered by the marriage, not Joss. I think that, no matter what, one side (career or family) will suffer in order to preserve the other.
Date: 25 May 2013 03:48 Title: Possibilities
It is beautiful, and it is also quite tragic. We know what happens here, but his joy shines and it's nice to pretend that maybe it'll work out...
But no. Well wrought, and well done.
Date: 25 May 2013 03:34 Title: Possibilities
Oh, God, this is so beautiful and yet so SAD knowing what lies ahead for them. Well played, LBD. Well played indeed.
Date: 24 May 2013 22:48 Title: Turning Point
Ah, Len. It doesn't really work that way, does it? Aside the mother in me wanting to swat his feet of the railing and give him what-for for the moonshine, the boy could definitely use some counseling. Or, at least, someone to listen. I feel for his plight with his father, but still think the sheer level of blame he levels on the man is harsh. Then again, eighteen isn't anywhere near age and wisdom, either.
Author's Response:
Exactly! Eighteen-year-olds tend to think they are infallible, and can succeed where their parents failed in their eyes. There are still a few harsh lessons ahead, where he will come to realize that his dad did the best he could and that sometimes, things don't work out despite our best efforts and/or intentions. I think this accounts for the reconciliation that we saw in ST:V. McCoy does love his father, and age has brought that wisdom he didn't have in his youth.
Date: 24 May 2013 17:11 Title: Turning Point
Oh, Leonard. I want to sit there on that porch with him, take a swig of his moonshine and just listen. He's got a lot on his mind. And how heartbreaking to know that despite his best intentions, he's about to set foot on a path that leads to the one place he never wanted to go.
Date: 24 May 2013 17:08 Title: Crossroads
Wow. His early talent for medicine shines through here, as well as his compassion and strong emotions.
It's interesting to think about the chain of events that would lead this heartsick, passionate young man (and that's what he is despite his young age -- he doesn't think like a child anymore) to not only embrace medicine, but get to a place where he can proclaim with finality, "He's dead, Jim," on numerous occasions without losing his composure.
Date: 24 May 2013 17:04 Title: Second Chances
Leonard is wise beyond his years, taking the responsibility for his relationship with his father upon his own young shoulders. He's also falling in love with medicine from afar, idealizing it, but trying to keep it at arm's length so it won't consume his life.
I really don't know the circumstances behind McCoy's divorce or his later distance from his daughter, but I can't help but wonder if he followed in his father's footsteps in more ways than one.
Date: 24 May 2013 02:25 Title: Turning Point
I can but imagine what DeForest Kelly could've done with this. In that I think you've captured McCoy as always. Can't help but feel for him...maybe because Bones is like an old friend.
Date: 24 May 2013 01:43 Title: Turning Point
Oh, poor Bones. That need to help people, that knowledge he so desperatelu fears and wants, all of it is leading him down the same path his father and grandfather went down. He knows it, in some ways, that its inenvitable but he's Bones and he'll stubbornly fight to the very end, sure he's right. Not because of arrogance or bravado, but because damn it it's how it should be.
He's yet to quite realize that how it should be isn't how it's gong to be in the long run.
Author's Response:
Y'know, I honestly think there is some teenaged bravado here. He realizes that medicine is what he truly wants, but he wants that family as well, that closeness and affection that he was missing growing up. Make no mistake, he knows his parents--even his father--love him, but knowledge and personal experience are two different things. And you're right--he really has no idea what's in store for him, so sure is he that he can avoid the pitfalls of the profession.
Date: 24 May 2013 01:32 Title: Turning Point
He strikes me as a bit arrogant here, and almost acting like an engineer. That is, once you know how to do something, it works, and without fail. But medicine and interpersonal relationships do not work like that. There are few set playbooks.
Author's Response:
Yes. The arrogance of an eighteen-year-old. They feel they are infallible, and indestructible, and so much smarter and wiser than the adults in their life. There is a certain amount of arrogance with regard to not making the same mistakes as previous generations, but we also see the true emergence of his compassion--he will never allow himself to be in a situation again where he doesn't know what to do.
Date: 23 May 2013 04:07 Title: Crossroads
The first thing I thought of was Chekov. But I digress. It's no real surprise Len is struggling; he's still sort of looking for someone to pin it on, because trying to cope with the thought that sometimes bad things happen and you can't fix them seems to be out of his grasp. I'll be interested to see how he reconciles this one, and how he comes to realize that he very likely can cope.
Author's Response:
Unfortunately, it takes another trauma to make him realize he can cope. Not cope exactly, but that it feels worse not to know what to do, or not to be able to do what needs to be done, regardless of the ultimate outcome.
Date: 23 May 2013 02:34 Title: Crossroads
The anger stage of grief, displayed expertly here. And I feel like it's a fine call later, to Pavel Chekov's bout with head injury in a time that would cut his head open to deal with it.
Author's Response:
Exactly! These are the humble beginnings of the man we see later in life - the man who wept openly in 1930's New York thinking about how doctors at the time sewed their patients up with catgut, to the man who railed against the barbarity of 1980's surgeons wanting to cut Chekov's head open to deal with a brain injury; an injury similar to the one that took his grandfather's life.
Date: 23 May 2013 02:31 Title: Second Chances
It hurts, too, when the childhood grief shapes itself and turns inward into 'be a man'. In a lot of ways, that sentiment is good; in a lot more, it's damaging. The duality of this piece is aching, because he knows he's loved, and that's a beautiful thing.
Author's Response:
Thank you. You caught perfectly the message I was trying to convey here. However, knowing you're loved and seeing that love displayed are two very different things for a child, no matter his or her age...
Date: 23 May 2013 02:09 Title: Second Chances
McCoy is trying to grow up here. To show maturity. To find a path in life. To emulate his father and his fahter's father. Yet he doesn't seem to have true insight and maturity in some senses. He doesn't see the cost it has brought him having a dad as a doctor or the risk that he will repeat these mistakes himself. He's a kid trying to be a man nearly before he is ready. And damn it if life hasn't already thrown him enough curveballs that would fell an adult.
Author's Response:
Exactly! As I told trekfan, he's viewing all of this with the naivety of a thirteen-year-old. Lofty goals to be sure, but easier said than done, as he will learn the hard way.
Date: 23 May 2013 01:49 Title: Crossroads
I've really struggled putting my thoughts into words on this one. Reread it a few times and have yet to really find the language to express what I want to say. Here's my best attempt:
What Bones feels here is, what I imagine, every doctor feels. As with everything medicinal in his life this is personal for him ... the two worlds have intersected and twisted into one. He can't separate himself from the patients. He can't separate his feelings and he realizes this now, but it won't matter. He's heard the call and he's gonna answer it, but damn it, Jim, he's going to repeat some of the same mistakes his grandfather and father made.
A very real piece and one that leaves me wanting to say more, but finding little words left to say. Well done.
Author's Response:
Thank you, trekfan - you so 'got' what I was going for here. This is the crux of why he feels every death so acutely later in life. He realizes that medicine is his calling, but at this age he's not sure he can handle the downside to this profession - namely that sometimes, no matter what you do, people die. He will vacillate back and forth over this choice for the next few years, with the next pivotal event (the next chapter's content) making the decision for him once and for all.
Date: 22 May 2013 23:10 Title: Crossroads
He's taking it too personally.
Which means he's only human, but this is a problem that has gripped doctors forever - how do you deal with the things you cannot fix?
I'm sure a lot disconnect themselves; I think all of us have seen the doctor who seems to have no bedside manner, going through the motions almost, and seemingly devoid of caring. I bet that's a defense mechanism.
You've made Leonard's issues very real. Well done.
Author's Response:
This is something all doctors struggle with, made all the harder to deal with when there are certain assumptions and expectations made as to the course of Leonard's future - a path he's not sure he can handle. But of course, at thirteen the last thing he wants to do is disappoint his father - a man whose absence from his young life he's already feeling acutely, regardless of the reason for that absence.
Date: 22 May 2013 02:18 Title: Second Chances
Poor Bones. He has such lofty aspirations here, determined not to fall into the same trap as his father had, but so proud of his pa and grandpa. He understand the greater implication of their work and understands that it's not his father's fault about the deaths ... but still isn't quite at the understanding he thinks he is. He doesn't quite have the whole picture.
Author's Response:
Yes, he's looking at everything through the filter of youth; with thirteen-year-old eyes when what he really needs are thirty-year-old eyes.
Date: 22 May 2013 01:27 Title: Second Chances
Och, poor Leonard. He's trying so hard to be so mature about it all, but he's still so young and even as you admire his well-spoken selflessness, by the end you realize he really is still just a little boy trying to desperately cling to little boy things that he shouldn't have lost yet.
A really well-written, heartaching piece. It's such a hard age to be, too, and you conveyed that so well: Growing up, but not anywhere near grown up yet. It makes me want to take him camping anywhere, let me tell you.
Author's Response:
Exactly! Kids at that age feel that they're grown up, and mature, and can handle anything, but deep down inside they still want proof of their parents' love and approval. Len feels that the way to get that is to continue the family legacy. Will it be the right choice for him? We know it will, but at what cost?
Date: 22 May 2013 01:10 Title: Second Chances
Again, with fault and blame.
Sometimes, there is no fault, and there is no one to blame. Stuff just happens, Len!
Author's Response:
Yes, we as adults realize that, but kids tend not to, no matter how smart and gifted they are, or how mature they might seem. When their parents fight, or get divorced, or lose their jobs, etc., kids, especially at that age, tend to blame themselves. We've seen some personal growth in that Leonard no longer thinks it's right to blame his father for the Tatums' deaths, but it's perfectly fine to blame himself for the rift developing between him and his father.