Date: 29 May 2013 04:30 Title: Chapter 9
A touching chapter on a number of levels. I’ve had a few characters of my own go through similar events to what the admiral went through and dealing with the aftermath is never easy. In fact, it’s harder than the torture itself in a lot of ways. Life has moved on without him and his clone has done so much damage in the real admiral’s absence. His wife. His daughter. His career. All have been affected by the imposter who was working subtly, something I feel was very Romulan. They don’t tend to do things loud and blatant like, they go silent and deadly and they did that here.
The convo between him and Kirk was well done, and heartfelt. Jim def showed why Anna married him here. For as great a captain he can be, he has such great human moments and he shared one here with his father-in-law. Of course, there was no way Jim could be sure how Anna would react. After all, this was a whole lot to take in especially since the fake admiral had been around so long but she did react as Jim predicted, and did so in a very real way. I hope she and her father get to know one another again.
Date: 29 May 2013 04:21 Title: Chapter 8
Kirk and co. use the element of surprise to get the Romulans. Why didn’t I think of that? At any rate Kirk and the trio did and they nailed those Romulan dudes without a second thought. A little rummaging around, a little thinking, and they got into the admiral’s cell and freed him. I have to say, I expected the admiral to be in worse shape and I’m wondering why the Romulans have kept him living for so long? I can’t help but feel that maybe the good admiral might have been brainwashed into doing something super bad later. This all seems too easy.
Meanwhile, back at base, Anna is holding down the fort. She’s a good lass and a tough one. I’m glad she reinstated herself as the commander (privileges of being the captain’s wife I suppose) and is owning the whole commander of a starbase and mom thing. She’s a great study in balancing duties, and I only hope she finds a way to balance her dual natures as well. I’m glad she told Kirk he’s riding the couch from now on … he deserves it. He really, really deserves it. Sure, got her real dad back but he still left without telling her. Not cool.
Date: 29 May 2013 04:05 Title: Chapter 7
Oh boy. The trio is in some serious trouble here and everything was looking so good. They deftly took out every Romulan that stood in their way and lowered the boom on a few of them (Spock, nerve pinch owning all). Seeing as how the trio is awesome, they made their way into the caves, into the super secret hidden parts of the cave and then took out more guards.
The scene was well paced, the action quick but satisfying. I liked how you painted the caves, dark, dank, nasty, and once the three got to the admiral it look liked things were looking up. But then the other Romulan guards showed up and I wonder how they knew the three were there. I’m calling a traitor somewhere or perhaps fake admiral got off a message to the Romulans. Whatever the case may be, the trio are in big trouble now.
How is Kirk gonna get out of this one? I don’t have the faintest idea. He’s gotten his friends in bad spots before and I know this isn’t curtains for them, but things could get bad here before they get worse. I wish the Enterprise will swoop in here and blast some Romulan baddies from orbit, but being underground that’s not gonna happen. I think.
Date: 29 May 2013 03:50 Title: Chapter 6
Oh, Jim Kirk. Always one to act and always one to act first. He’s probably kicking himself for not punching the fake admiral out sooner, and he probably should have (just to entertain me) but dag gum it, taking a shuttle into a wormhole is sure one hell of a plan. Luckily Spock and McCoy are there to knock/talk some sense into him but man, Jim, you got a wife and kids now … take a breath, think for a second my friend.
Still, seeing the three of them together again as they blaze out into the universe on the Enterprise can’t help but give me a warm feeling. I love the trio and you have some great trio moments here. I appreciated the way Spock came to Bones defense (without really doing it loudly) and how the three of them fell back into the same old routine as before.
Anna being left to deal with the kids alone kills me. I hate that and it bugs me that this happens so often in real life as it does in fiction. It’s a marriage, a partnership, and both parents should be there. I get that Kirk needs to go rescue the real admiral here but he should have at least given her the heads up. He doesn’t seem to regret it in the least here that he didn’t, betting what he’s going to bring back is going to make any wrath fall by the wayside. We’ll see.
Date: 29 May 2013 03:39 Title: Chapter 5
I liked Kirk’s reaction to the emotional link of the mind meld. Spock’s response was just as good and I’m sure made Bones roll his eyes, but it’s the truth! Kirk should have realized that and maybe on some level he did. Whatever the case may have been, this chapter wasn’t about him but about Anna, who really shined here. She and her mother’s relationship is strained but not because of mutual dislike, but rather just a time and distance apart. It happens to Humans as much as it happens to Vulcans and I’m glad to see Anna acknowledge that, yes, she is Vulcan but feels so Human that she’s lost touch with that side of herself.
Anna’s mother seems very understanding and seems to have really embraced the style of letting some emotions play out, like the smile she sends her daughter, rather than being so cold and logical all the time. Her suggestion to talk with Spock is a good one and I hope Anna does as her mother has suggested. The two, Spock and Anna, share a unique bond in that they are two of the closest individuals with Kirk.
But man, Jim, leaving for Romulus without telling your girl? That’s kinda a loserific move. Anna deserved better than that, especially considering she’s being left with the kids for an extended period of time. We’ll see what happens here but I hope Jim has some way to make up for his abrupt exit.
Date: 29 May 2013 03:28 Title: Chapter 4
Ah, a peaceful diplomatic dinner. You did well describing the hall and getting across that “diplomacy” vibe. It was soothing. It was nice. It was your standard diplomatic dinner. I loved Bones moaning about the lack of meat. Damn straight, Bones, meat is a thing that people need to eat. Except Vulcans, apparently. Of course since most Vulcans are in pretty good shape I guess their little “don’t eat meat” thing works but I loved Bones for bringing it up. He’s a doctor, not a diplomat!
Then we have the imposter admiral show up and boy does he burst in with a lot of hater. I mean, the dude was drinking haterade, sweating it, and completely out of line. Kirk got up and belted him and I loved it (after the admiral stupidly took a swing at him). Jim Kirk is a fighter, a guy who can dish as good as he gets and he dished it well here. I was pleased to see him lay imposter admiral out and then calmly explain to security the admiral needed to be taken to the brig.
Now what, is the question that has to be asked by all parties. Sarek has just witnessed the admiral getting decked by Kirk, Kirk has to get the real admiral back, and Romulans could be lurking. What’s next?
Date: 29 May 2013 03:16 Title: Chapter 3
Well, Jim comes to the rescue again with the bedsheet bit. That was a smart move and worked great for Anthony, but not so much for Amanda. Teva’s suggestion of a mind meld, at such an early age, surprised me and even more so it surprised me when Anna did it! I guess it’s a common practice on Vulcan, with the way Teva just casually suggested it, but this explains why later Amanda misses her mother so much. At any rate, the twins issue was solved.
And then Spock and Bones show up. Ah, the trio. Trek is just designed to be a story about threes in some ways. The trio works so well on so many levels and in this brief scene we have here of the two, we have the trio in full and ready to go. Bones gets off a nice bit there, Spock delivers some crucial info, and Anna seems to be nudging Spock to go say hi to his dad. The two, Sarek and Spock, have never had the easiest relationship and they seem to be kind of icy here. But they aren’t hating one another though so I guess it’s all right.
I’m curious how Kirk and co. are gonna stop this Romulan imposter without making a bad situation worse. Anna has been hearing lies from an imposter for years now and honestly, I’m thinking she’s due for a big emotional hammer and soon. Whatever the case may be, here’s to Kirk nailing that SOB and getting the real guy back.
Date: 29 May 2013 03:06 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, Jim Kirk. Even in marriage you are still ever the player in bed. The scene with them in their quarters was sweet and very nice between them. A great interplay between a married couple who are desperate for a night without the kids, got it, and now want that bliss to continue. Jim and Anna didn’t have much time to enjoy each other before their marriage began and I can’t blame them for wanting some alone time. Lord knows how little they got of it when the twins were younger.
But, they had to get ready for the inlaws and boy was Anna nervous. You wrote her well here and captured that jittery, freaking out feeling that she had. She wasn’t fully freaking out but she was kinda losing it and admitted as much to Kirk. Sarek was a nice guest here and he was written well. You got his subtle yet very loud small movements down.
The big reveal-Anna’s father, a Romulan clone-was a surprise to everyone one. So, that means that her dad has been a clone since before the wedding? Being a clone that has to mean that he was part of the set up of Anna at the Academy and that’s why he was so hesitant to give Kirk the evidence. I guess he figured his partner could take care of the rest, but he figured wrong.
Date: 29 May 2013 02:53 Title: Chapter 1
So, here we are, as regular things are beginning to occur once more for Anna. She’s been on extended maternity leave and I wonder why. She seems to physically be okay but it worries me that she’s been on leave so long. I hope this isn’t some subtle plot thread about a possible problem later on in the story. I already know what happens to Anna, sadly, so I don’t want anything MORE to happen to her.
But she gets cleared by Jackie (who is the new CMO apparently) and then she gets news that her mother is coming. The confusion and dread about that is right on the money … I know I get that feeling when my mother announces out of the blow she’s showing up (not a fun feeling). Anna is clearly worried about what she’s going to think about Jim and the kids, and she has reason to be worried, but I find that her mother seems the nice sort.
Whereas her father is not so. He’s been a super-jerk throughout all this and even when Jim cleared her name, he still was in jerk factor ten. Dude needs Jim to knock him on his behind and do so with reckless abandon, but I digress. Jim himself doesn’t seem to be looking forward to this anymore than she is and I can’t blame him for that either. Every body movement Kirk has on the subject is spot on: the tense smile, the tight muscle movement. Your writing has improved quite a bit from that first story you’ve posted and you deserve a pat on the back. You know Kirk’s character pretty well now in this very new and unfamiliar setting for most Trek authors.
Now, Kirk and Anna get a night to themselves (as they well should) and hopefully they’ll be able to withstand this dual visit.