Date: 09 Apr 2013 01:24 Title: Chapter 1
A Miranda Fave / Lil Black dog Read and Review Challenge response (challenge #5)
Oh, now isn't that a neat set up for the beginning of this tale. Three different scenarios. The ominous prologue, the little teaser that promises much and worse is awaiting the story development. You give little away here but it is more than enough to hook the reader and have them wonder what is going on. Tying that little hook into Bassen's Rift only adding to it for some reason.
Then we have the Hirogen ship I'm guessing with Beta and Alpha titles abounding. Very intriguing, firstly as to why they are here in the Alpah Quadrant - although that may be a Trek Online story development - but it does not negate the pique of interest nor does it deflect the fact that this is a dangerous foe our heroes are going to be challenged with, Formidable hunters and opponents it will be quite a threatening situation for our heroes who surely won't get it as easy as VOY making a cruel villian of the Hirogen and realising their full potential. Looking forward to that. Especially as you show them here to be thinkers too and not just numb-skull hunters.
Then you introduce the captain, our hero of Rafale. Of course, she is actually a reluctant hero we soon learn in a neat bit of character introduction as we learn she is uncomfortable and haunted by memories of the previous captain and the events of the Borg devastation. Already it adds layers to the character and the story and the story title of Ghost Ship. It seems, there's ghosts on this ship the captain will have to put to rest but especially as it may be that there are other hauntings and huntings awaiting the crew. Even as a relatively new reader to your material this works great as an introduction. I feel as though I can step into your story and series with ease in the manner and style of you writing and setting out the expanded universe and the characters you write for.
Lots of glorious little mysteries and set ups to look for and follow. And I look forward to reading more. Great job TemplarSora.
Date: 08 Apr 2013 03:04 Title: Chapter 5
Interesting how for Jess things went from boring to clean-your-pants-out-with-a-stick in a nanosecond. The Hirogen have turned tail and ran, but what of the other alien(s)? Can't wait to see how (or if) this untried, fledgling crew will come together to deal with this turn of events.
Date: 07 Apr 2013 23:14 Title: Chapter 4
Ouch. The tension between the two crews is palpable. Be interesting to see what will cause them to learn it's not us against them, but us against them.
Date: 07 Apr 2013 22:36 Title: Chapter 3
Wow! That bit of insubordination really rubbed the wrong way. Jess better get Elaina in hand, and soon. Somehow I think Elaina's pledge only pertains to keeping the Rafale intact, not Jessica's command.
Date: 07 Apr 2013 22:25 Title: Chapter 2
Following more of this now. It ties into Merrily, Merrily, so I'm getting why Jessica was promoted before others who outranked her. The question becomes will the members of the 'old guard' who are left help or hinder their new command team? And I have a feeling this mission isn't going to be so routine when they run into the critters who opened the first chapter. The plot thickens...
BTW, very much enjoying your writing style. I know you've credited your editor in the past, claiming she is deserving of some of the praise and while I agree wholeheartedly that good editing can serve to improve a piece, you have to have something good to start with. Turns of phrase and especially character descriptions give this piece a strong feel and help novices like me keep track of all the OCs and their respective positions. Looking forward to more. :)
Author's Response: Thanks very much. My wife is certainly a life saver, and she'll be happy to see this recognition (Her name on the site is "that one chick," fyi) of her fine editorial skills. But, I will say this; with practice comes some degree of mastery of this art. I'm finding that she's having to provide fewer comments and edits, so I'm pretty happy with that. ^^
Date: 07 Apr 2013 20:07 Title: Chapter 1
Really nice start, TS. I know Jess' backstory from your challenge-winning story on her (forgive me, the title eludes me at the moment) but don't know much about her formative years, or time at the Academy, so not sure why it would be a surprise for her to get command at this juncture - my failing, not yours, for not being more familiar with your work.
However, I do very much like the air of dread you've associated with it - her unease in her ready room and her quarters, the echoes of the old captain still firmly entrenched in both places.
My time in the reserves was spent driving a desk in the DC area, but I've often wondered how sailors cope with losses and damages on a vessel. For instance, when the Cole was bombed and partially destroyed. Do sailors feel uneasy in those newly-repaired areas of the ship? Are they haunted by the incident that led to the look and feel of that space today? Is a crewman assigned to bunk in a deceased shipmate's space haunted by the specter of that individual?
That's what you've set up here - that feeling of dread, that uncertainty, that feeling Jess has of can-I-keep-the-crew-safe-when-Captain-Mal'Kon-failed-to-do-so? I like that she sleeps on the couch overlooking the bridge, almost as if she feels she can prevent the destruction and loss of life previously visited on the vessel if she can just keep watch over it; keep those personnel manning the bridge in her sight at all times.
Can't wait to see where you take this untested captain, and if she grows into the role she finds so daunting at present.
Author's Response: Thanks for all the reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! The title of the story you're thinking of is "Interlude - Grown." For a better idea of why Jess is command, I'd recommend going back and reading "Blood Red Dawn" and then "Fix You." "Ghost Ship" would be episode 3 of my little series, following those previous two. It might help fill in a few holes. ^^ Hope you enjoy the rest of the story!
Date: 04 Apr 2013 22:59 Title: Chapter 1
I STILL think the intense nuance of horror you put into this story is insane (and admirable) for you... maybe you can watch The Ring with me one day after all! (;
Date: 26 Mar 2013 20:50 Title: Chapter 4
Gah, the tension on this ship runs deeper than I realized. Having crew openly defy the authority of the XO is a bad sign, but Obruz handled it deftly. Hopefully, this mission might serve to allow the disparate crews to gel together more effectively.
Date: 26 Mar 2013 20:40 Title: Chapter 3
The fact that someone got to the starship before the Hirogen is bad enough, but whatever it was appears to have been absolutely terror-iinducing.
Seurer's bitterness is understandable, given the circumstances, but that doesn't mean St. Peter has to put up with it. Jess is the captain now, and no matter how much Seurer disagrees with that, she has to either suck it up and make peace with that fact or get the hell off the ship.
St. Peter can't allow the ChEng's obvious defiance of her authority to go unchecked, or Jessica's command will be quickly undermined. Time for her to yank Seurer's leash... hard.
Date: 26 Mar 2013 20:33 Title: Chapter 2
Their first briefing started out awkwardly, and it's already apparent that Seurer's going to be a problem for St. Peter. I eagerly await the Riker/Shelby talk that is sure to ensue...
Date: 26 Mar 2013 20:20 Title: Chapter 1
Oh, geez... the Hirogen. That'll be fun for Rafale and her crew to cut their teeth on!
I'm glad to see St. Peter in the center seat, given what she went through at Vega heaven knows she's earned it. Now, whether she can command the respect of the crew... that remains to be seen.
And whatever the heck is the creature in the first passage? As if the Hirogen weren't threat enough!
A terrific start to this tale.
Date: 21 Mar 2013 00:23 Title: Chapter 15
Aw, sweet.
Wow, that was quite a ride!
I loved the idea of essentially getting the Romulan ship to do the final firing. It makes sense - get them to do the dirty work. Kinda reminds me of turning an enemy's weapon so that he shoots his own man.
Marvellously done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much; I'm glad you enjoyed it! Now I'm worried the next one won't be up to caliber, lol
Date: 16 Mar 2013 17:28 Title: Chapter 5
I really liked this exchange - Jess wondering if command is kinda boring (and I imagine that it can be at times), the hesitation about sending an away team, and then suddenly having to deal with the Hirogen.
Date: 16 Mar 2013 17:14 Title: Chapter 2
A bit of trouble in the ranks, I see. Jess had best get her senior staff in line.