[Report This]Date: 14 Aug 2021 00:32 Title: Epilogue
Nice series of wraps. I'm onboard with Director S31 having a day job (mine is Chief Justice of the Federation Tribunal.) A holo-necklace to create alter-egos to preserve his cover - that's a first - wish I'd thought of that.
Lar'ragos definitely needs some head-shrinkage. Really excellent interaction between him and Ramirez, particularly the concluding order.
Very enjoyable story overall - with some really creative villainny (part of it by one of our heroes..)
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
I'm pleased you enjoyed the tale! Thank so much for commenting.
[Report This]Date: 12 Aug 2021 20:28 Title: Chapter 22
Lar'ragos is a very fun character in his conversation with Ixes. There's a bit of sadistic pleasure in his dropping the axe. He's actually a bit of a sick puppy - in a fun way.
Good ending sequence with Sandhurst - at this point, once he's done with treatment he should seriously consider retirement...
Broken captain, broken ship, battered personnel...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 10 Aug 2021 21:36 Title: Chapter 21
Bit of a shame about Kutav - he's such an interesting bad guy. Maybe he'll make a deal with the klingons...Who am I kidding? No one makes deals with the klingons...
So we have a time agent who's almost as loveable as the Baron. Speaking of whom... he still hasn't met his sticky fate. Needs spacing, that one.
Poor Juneau - just when she was kicking ass, that memory block kicked in and now.. normal kid.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 09 Aug 2021 01:41 Title: Chapter 20
I like it that Q now has a non-interference policy (one that our more familiar Q just barely skirts in STH...)
Also unexpected twist for Rameriz to jettison the nacelles - eminently sensible - fortunate that there was a jettison mechanism installed.
Quite an enjoyable fight sequence at the end with Lar'ragos. The Baron was custom made for a well-deserved drubbing.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Thank you!
Yes, the Baron rather had it coming, didn't he?
Date: 07 Aug 2021 19:41 Title: Chapter 19
No shortage of action here, but the big moment is..
The Baron is a phoenix? I was expecting him to be hard to kill, but this was quite the twist.
Still likeing the Pehlan monster - shame its under the Baron's control. Kutev continues to be a fun character as well. Really good ensemble storytelling - lots of fanfics seem to really center on one or two characters - I'm a fan of ensemble storytelling.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Well, not a phoenix, precisely, but he's definitely something with more than one life. ;-)
[Report This]Date: 06 Aug 2021 14:57 Title: Chapter 18
I put a tutorial about how to play Gilmore's gorgeous lead rides to Comfortably Numb on my YouTube channel - along with a separate keyboard track for other guitarists to use for rehearsal. Easily the crowd favorite when I was playing lead guitar (I generally play mandolin these days.)
I have been waiting for someone to shiv that Baron... Though I'm far from certain that's his last gasp. Interesting shapeshifter introduction.
This is a pretty action-intensive chapter with lots of scene-changes and shifts of perspective. Not an easy thing to pull off.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 05 Aug 2021 01:05 Title: Chapter 17
Interesting twists both with Juneau and Lar'ragos. Pehlan continues to be quite interesting. His position is unclear, but given his behavior when capturing Sandhurst, he might be on the level. I'm a big fan of good bad guys and bad good guys.
The Baron continues to delight as something that really needs getting rid of. And the monster and sentinals are intriguing.
Rameriz's promotion is a nice odd twist too - a reminder that the world just marches on while we're all wrapped up in other priorities.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yeah, in the midst of all this mess even a long and eagerly awaited promotion falls flat for her. This mission has become quite the tutorial in the burdens of command for her.
[Report This]Date: 03 Aug 2021 22:53 Title: Chapter 16
Love Dunleavey's rumination about her first contact words..
So it looks like Gibralter's crew has gotten caught in the middle of a really big power play out in the middle of nowhere - just the perfect place for it.
Some interesting torture methods coming from the Baron. Sandhurst is definitely showing some grit. Really looking forward to the Baron getting it. Hopefully quite graphically..
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 01 Aug 2021 23:07 Title: Chapter 15
Really enjoying the character of Parlan, who seems to take a fairly minimalist approach given his evident power.
It's a small point, but I like alt-Juneau's use of the term "Master Chief." I'm not military, but I notice when military titles are not used correctly. A Master Sargeant is never referred to as "Sargeant" - it's always "Master Sargeant."
Lovely guy, this Baron. Mad as a hatter and quite sadistic. The multi-verse won't miss him...
Thanks! rbs
Author's Response:
Parlan is excellent at conserving his resources, until it's time not to...
The Baron is a very old monster who's made sadism a favorite hobby, much to Captain Sandhurst's distress.
Glad you're enjoying the story, and thanks for the great responses!
[Report This]Date: 31 Jul 2021 10:43 Title: Chapter 14
I definitely enjoy an intelligent monster - kudos on Parlan's very succinct introduction.
Ashok definitely showed his value in this situation - I'm enjoying the layers of complexity not only with the Baron, but also with the crew taking the right kinds of initiative.
Also enjoyed the opening sequence with the monster analyzing Dunleavy.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 29 Jul 2021 07:33 Title: Chapter 13
So, a time traveler posing as a slider? This Baron is a slippery character. Good thing Lar'ragos was listening in... There's a little bit of the Joker in this joker - impossible to guess which lies are truths twisted just a little and which are outright lies.
Really liking uber-alt Juneau - especially the explanation of her order.
Mystery villain + mystery monster + mystery hero - definitely staying at a run here...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Now many ancillary factors come into play, complicating an already delicate situation.
[Report This]Date: 27 Jul 2021 19:19 Title: Chapter 12
So the Baron's a slider? There's an unexcpected twist. Though the method of transport might have clued me in. Well played!
Plazzi has become a very sympathetic character. And Lar'ragos is back from his trip down memory lane. Hopefully it was cathartic..
Totally creepy ending. I'm a fan of good horror writing - and it doesn't get creepier than raining blood. Also loved the last sentence - "Something just emerged..."
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Things here are definitely starting to ramp up for the crew, who are woefully behind the curve in deciphering the mysteries of Pierosh II.
[Report This]Date: 25 Jul 2021 09:52 Title: Chapter 11
Tark's a sharp cookie to notice the new Juneau while in a pinch. No one said tellerites were dummies..
Well - the scientist turned out to be a badass... I wonder if Ramirez is now a candidate for a prosthetic.
So why did the Baron take on the form of Benghazi?
Really nice action and an unexpected win for Gibralter's crew. I always appreciate it when the writer keeps me guessing instead of following too worn tropes.
Also - interesting (and no doubt inevitable) character development between Ashook and Sandhurst.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Fortunately, the Baron's beam didn't sever Ramirez's arm, just punched a hole cleanly through it.
The Baron's relationship to Dr. Benghazi is a complicated one...
Thanks for your continuing reviews, they're much appreciated!
[Report This]Date: 24 Jul 2021 06:23 Title: Chapter 10
As Douglas Adams observed, the primary problem with time travel is grammar - particularly verb tense... "may have come to fruition before our arrival..." That's also the most fun thing about writing time travel stories.
The only thing better than a mad scientist is a mutating, dying mad scientist...
This Baron is a formidable foe. Good cliffhanger action - and no shortage of bloody action on the bridge.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yes, time travel tenses are hard! ;-) Thank you for your comments!
[Report This]Date: 22 Jul 2021 20:54 Title: Chapter 9
So the orion pirates survived after all... And no doubt will be put to more mischief. Alas - they might have become the minions of someone a bit more competant then they were.
Lar'rogos doesn't have to invent nightmares - appreantly he's lived them.
Something on the other side of a subspace portal.. that sounds tesseract unhealthy..
And a mysterious flying castle (complete with a Baron) to top it off... Now this is starting to get into some weird goodness..
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 21 Jul 2021 09:20 Title: Chapter 8
That's a fairly knowlegeable alter-ego.. perhaps a Section 31 agent? That would qualify as seriously deep cover... I recall a story in which a character deliberately particitioned his mind to experience life as an average journalist as the public-facing alter-ego super secret agent. The journalist accidentally discovered his alter-ego, nearly blowing his own mission in the process. Wish I had thought of it!
Interesting mixture of technologies to create the subspace rift. A homemade system cobbled together to do dangerous work... Shades of Stranger Things...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Ah, yes, but this story predates Stranger Things by over a decade. ;-) Thanks again for your reviews!
[Report This]Date: 20 Jul 2021 19:11 Title: Chapter 7
The landing zone definitely has a feeling of those classic desolate, sound-stage+painted-backdrop settings for the original series and early STNG away missions.
The creepy, partially dissolved bodies seem very familiar from either STOS or STNG, but I'm not placing them. It's been nearly a decade since I watched that stuff.
Nice horror aura - I'm definitely a fan of good horror writing (my orignal genre as a writer.)
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 19 Jul 2021 08:22 Title: Chapter 6
Tantalizing bits about Juneau's alter-ego - whether native, implanted or invasive yet to be seen.
Looks like Lar'rogos needs an extended nap to deal with a few demons of his own.
Speaking of which, there's a familiar scene...
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Yes, snippets of this story were moved into the larger The Long Road anthology for Lar'ragos.
[Report This]Date: 18 Jul 2021 22:38 Title: Chapter 5
The bodyless entity grows more mysterious - apparently predatory... And definitely frustrated. Possibly quite dangerous.
As is our mysterous, cloaked project leader.
Looks like Sandhurst got lucky this time. Luck is a central part of success. Nice reverie on the value of training in no-win scenarious and good character development again betwen Sandhurst and Rameriz.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Sandhurst has extremes of luck, both good and bad. Unfortunately, as goes his luck so goes the crew's most of the time. Thanks again for the feedback!
[Report This]Date: 17 Jul 2021 13:03 Title: Chapter 4
There's a nasty little weapon - and proof that some things should not be created.
Very interesting entity moving in the background - almost seems like the orions don't want to use the thing but are being coaxed into it.
As much psychological thriller as space battle...
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 16 Jul 2021 13:54 Title: Chapter 3
So there's a little Janus in Juneau... It will be interesting to see whether this alter-ego comes from within or is an intruder.
Mucking about with the fabric of time so soon in the story? Nice that DTI is a civilian agency - many ST stories remain strictly with military organizations and rarely involve civilian authority.
A nice dynamic emerging between Sandhurst and Ramirez - back and forth on both Lar'ragos and Ashok.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response:
Glad you liked my vision of the DTI. Sandhurst and Ramirez are beginning to gel as a command team, slowly but surely.
[Report This]Date: 15 Jul 2021 13:52 Title: Chapter 2
This is actually one of the better chapters I've read among some really excellent fanfic writers. It's the exploration of the various vulnerabilities of the characters - from Sandhurst's weight to Pava's mental state to Ramirez's career worries.
All with an undertone of menace from the new assignment. I also liked the description of the transport ships. Star Fleet would have to have something like this, but it's just never addressed.
Thanks!! rbs
[Report This]Date: 14 Jul 2021 23:24 Title: Chapter 1
Looks like we have a mad scientist on our hands here...
Interesting to show what the less exalted academy grads are up to and look itno their attitudes.
I have to agree with Tark about the drills. Weeks of no-win scenarios can turn a decent fighting unit into a demoralized one who second-guess every move. Lar'ragos seems to have a burr in his saddle.
Intriguing open - Thanks!! rbs
Date: 04 Dec 2014 06:41 Title: Chapter 8
Ooooh, neat! I want my very own spatial rift. I love the override for the EMH, though the number 31 has me a bit suspicious...
Date: 04 Dec 2014 06:32 Title: Chapter 7
Oooh, secret passages! I can't wait to see what these researchers have been up to.