Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:05 Title: Chapter 6
Ah, now we get somewhere. Either Juneau is a sleeper for Section 31 or the TIA or SOME covert faction. And some excellent backstory on Pava; not unexpected, but still adds more to the mental makeup of the man as we go along with him.
But now, yes, you really have me wondering what Juneau is all about. Great reveal on the device from the story before, too!
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:05 Title: Chapter 5
ARRGH! More pieces, but no ANSWERS! You're killing me here. You have so much intrigue built up that this story practically has its own momentum; I imagine it must have taken a lot of thought (or propelled you as well!) when you started on this one.
I don't know if I've commented on your style yet, but it's great. Not overdone, not underdone, it's just smooth and natural and intelligent without being pretentious. Your use of words and how you structure sentences makes this story and the one before it quick and easy to read, while still nailing home all the impacts you mean to.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much, :blush:
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:05 Title: Chapter 4
Whoa! Someone nasty is playing puppeteer with the Orions there. Awesome buildup to a very breath-catching cliffhanger. And the countdown clock on the viewscreen made me smile, too.
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:04 Title: Chapter 3
Oooh, talk about a boiling mystery on several fronts. I love how you've weaved them into these chapters, making reading more and more of something that's a requirement (and guilty pleasure when I have so much other stuff to do!!) right NOW. Juneau's 'possession' of sorts there was a fascinating moment, especially since she still seemed to be herself, but not, if that makes sense.
Then, the TIA? There's another really wide-eyed interesting addition to the story. I can't fathom how these will go together, but I have a feeling it's gonna be awesome.
And yet more on Pava's reign of terror over his own group. Yes, I can see why this won a front-page recommendation.
Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:03 Title: Chapter 2
There were a lot of really brilliantly written moments in this bit -- Ramirez, naturally, continued to be a great character. I loved Donald's physical fitness bit, too; it was funny and human and entirely understandable. Finally, the little bits of mystery about Pava are really, really begging for exploration -- I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this!
[Report This]Date: 21 Feb 2009 19:03 Title: Chapter 1
As before, copied from Hope Station:
Hell of a cliff-hanger! Just started reading this; may take awhile to get through it, but I enjoyed the first enough that I wanted to get a start on the second. I was glad to see Juneau get some screentime, as she piqued my curiosity earlier. Lar’ragos’ has turned a bit scary, though I'm sure he maybe always was and it's just highlighted more now.
Good start!