Date: 27 Jul 2009 21:52 Title: Chapter Five
Frinx! Hehe, it's the new Frakk!
I love how Folani's promise to go along makes the rest of them decide to go along too. Like she speaks for all the hotheads. :oP
The uniforms! Oh, I could go on and on about this. Because in the show we often see them bend and fold. (cause they're made of rubber or somthing, I'm sure.) But somehow we tend to assume that they're metal. I did myself once in a fic of mine. Huge kudos to you for playing with the memory material idea!
Oooh, the showdown between Trughal and Folani. Loving this!
And ouch! Spirodopoulos really shows his balls towards Folani. And she really had it coming. That's gotta sting.
Author's Response:
"Frinx" is a word I remember from the DS9 novel Betrayal, which is canon material for the Sigils and Unions universe. I enjoyed letting it make an appearance here. ;-)
I wouldn't quite say Folani speaks for all the hotheads...but I do think it sends a message to everyone when someone who has a damn good reason to be very, very opposed to anything Cardassian is going along with this.
I am SO glad you liked the part about the uniforms! To me, Cardassian uniforms seemed more practical than ceremonial (like the Klingons), even with their neat design. I also thought this helped explain the onscreen evidence...I've heard some people say Cardassian uniforms are "flimsy"--but I thought that giving it this sort of reason would help diminish that impression. Now, there's one change I DID make, though...on the show, I noticed it's usually only legates who get undershirts that go partway up the neck ridges--I've decided, personally, that while legates always do wear such uniforms, that it is still an option for non-legates. After all, given how concerned the Cardassians have to be about getting cold, I thought it would work.
And glad you agree Folani had it coming! Really both she AND Trughal had it coming--both were wrong and both were fanning the flames. And the fact that she was about to call Trughal a "spoonhead"--that was something that had to be stopped, and quickly.
Date: 27 Jul 2009 21:30 Title: Chapter Four
Hehe, is it just me or is Folani channeling Kira? Or is it just another hint at O'Brien's comment on "bajoran women" in the first episode? Either way, I like it!
I have to ask... what's an interrobang? Did I miss something?
I love the imagry here: "Silent, Folani ran the chain of her earring over the tops of her fingers." Beautiful writing.
The idea that you learn to hear the original language "behind" the translator after a while is really interesting! Gotta email more about this!
Not to mentiong the ethic minorities of Cardassia! Oh yeah. Great stuff!
Ooooh. Macet can be really scary when he really lets himself unravel. Woah. Hell i was only READING his words, but I was still knocked back in my seat!
And I'm liking Spirodopolous more and more for each chapter. (Even though his name breaks my brain.)
Onwards!
Author's Response:
I've seen some interesting comments suggesting that Bajoran society borders on the matriarchal, so while I wouldn't say all Bajoran women are like this, I do think that their culture doesn't frown on assertiveness in women the way European and American cultures STILL sometimes do. I would say that the need to resist the Cardassians further enhanced that trait since all available hands were needed to fight and to lead.
An "interrobang" is a term I heard for the combination exclamation point and question mark, like when you write, "?!" That's the emotion Folani's experiencing here.
And I can't wait for your e-mail...I SO look forward to it! :-)
You actually have all three major races of the Cardassian species represented in the room. Va'Kust hails from Nevot, the same continent Broca is from. But anyone who judged Va'Kust by Broca would be making a HUGE mistake--just like anyone who judges Macet by Dukat is.
Interesting that you found Macet scary! Was he forceful? Ohhh yeah. But to me, he's not truly creepy the way (canon) Dukat is.
And glad you're liking Spirodopoulos! About his name...yeah, I know it's long and can be difficult to spell. But I saw someone make an interesting point somewhere, about how so often in Star Trek, heroes are only given simple Anglo-Saxon or occasionally Germanic names. But when I first drew Spirodopoulos, it became readily apparent to me that he was Greek. And that's how a lot of Greek names can be--they may seem unwieldy to us if we're not used to them, but that's normal for his culture. So I wanted to give him a true Greek name rather than hold back. :-)
Date: 30 Jun 2009 22:27 Title: Chapter Eleven
As much as what I said over on TrekBBS upon reading the first part of this segement. This was excellent! I think what I particularly liked was the pacing, the ebb and flow of the battle scenes in addition to the different circumstances each party finds themselves in. Each grouip has their own tone and mood as the plan unfold and the fighting commences.
A clever and unique tactic to take out the canon and what a shameful waste too. Speros was much more ready to allow nager to sacrifice herself but even Spirodopoulos assented to the suicidal course of action. I understand that she willing accepted the course of action having dreamt it up and putting it forward knowing full well the end result. But still, not too often we get to see such unhumanoid like aliens and to see one charred so after such a brief moment of introduction was sad. BUt fair play to her guts and her call to duty.
Lots of action but with a lot of thought and reflection too. A careful balance that makes for great reading. Left wondering at the end, like Spirodopoulos, what the quizzical look from Speros was about.
Macet's battle with the Jem'Hadar soldier was gritty and tough. It was quite violent but not overly so - just rather dramatic enough to add a little uncertainty into the equation. It was handled very well.
Again, not simply action in this second part. We have Macet trying to control his temper in dealing with the Andorian and the differences among this troubled alliance. Great atmosphere of tension and fraught alliances. This is then followed up with meeting those who work for the Dominion and would hold them prisoner for their beliefs in a Cardassai free of the Dominion yolk.
Great stuff Nerys.
Author's Response:
I'm very glad you're enjoying it, and that you don't feel like I'm burdening the battle too much by having thought in it as well! That was definitely something I was concerned about.
As I think I may have said back on the TrekBBS...I think Ngaer's death is sad, something to be mourned--but I would not call it a waste. She knew very well what she was doing, and she did it to save other lives. So to me...it's tragic but not a waste.
I'm curious to know (and feel free to drop a PM)...what do YOU think that look from Speros was about?
Thank you so much for reading! :-)
Date: 26 Jun 2009 14:41 Title: Prologue
I was just browsing around...okay, now you've got me hooked! :)
Author's Response:
I'm SO glad to hear that!!! I hope you'll keep reading! :-)
Date: 26 Jun 2009 06:16 Title: Chapter Eleven
I still wince quite a bit at Ngaer's ending. Regardless, you do a good job conveying the confusion and pace of battle here; heck of a cliff-hanger to end it on, too! Macet continues to endear himself to me in your stories, and it's a pleasure seeing Berat in action here, too.
Author's Response:
I'm glad you like Macet--even though he was having to say some very harsh things here...that tells me I'm doing a job of getting across the idea that he didn't like what he was saying at all.
And I'm also glad you're enjoying Berat! Believe me, you haven't even seen HALF the stuff this guy is going to cook up... ;-)
Date: 31 May 2009 16:43 Title: Chapter Three
DAMAR! Oh, you captured his voice beautifully! Slightly pompous, but deadly serious.
The tension on the bridge as Macet announces the intention to follow Damar is thick as custard! Had me glued to the screen, that's for sure. And I say again how much I love the character of Mindesa Rhos.
Lovely too, how Macet doesn't order his men forward, but simply asks them. Now that speaks of a greatness most humanoid (or Cardasnoid, hehe) species can appreciate.
I cannot get enough of your personification of the Trager. It's just so yummy to read! Like:
"The Trager leapt hungrily into warp"
"the Trager wailed at its wounds"
The description of the shuttle going kamikaze is just awesome! I don't think I could ever recount a spacebattle as believable as that. Great job!
And I'm sure you're aware by now just how much I go into nerdgasms over Cardassian physiology...
"this crawling sensation was that of microscales locking down as tight as they could to contain whatever heat they could manage to hold." Oooohhh.
Macet only gets more and more cool as the story weaves on. Phew! Intense!
Onwards!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reading--and I'm glad you're enjoying it!
I am especially happy to know you feel I got Damar's voice right. :-)
About the personification of the Trager...I think we as readers are used to seeing alien ships as the enemy. Simple machines to be blown out of space. I thought it would be nice to show something a little different from that. :-)
And I'm glad you like the Cardassian physiology stuff--even though I stay out of certain departments you venture into! ;-P ;-)
Date: 28 May 2009 07:41 Title: Chapter Two
Another wonderful character of yours. Tayben! You just cannot help but like and admire him!
"ghentregă’ămsthe". I love this word, but I have to admit... it makes me giggle because it reminds me of a rather ridiculous word in my language. Hehe. Could one beg a translation? Pretty Please? Dying with curiosity here...
I love the description of the 'rebel base'. I mean, steel? Not some obscure cardassian metal or something out of this world? Just plain steel. Do you have any theories on how they come by it? Meaning, do you believe that certain raw materials are identical throughout the universe? Is there iron on Cardassia? Or on some of their union planets? I'd love to talk more about this.
Author's Response:
Well, I can't take all the credit for Tayben, I'm afraid. He actually came from a book called Betrayal, by Lois Tilton. I loved the character so much that I gave him that first name, extended his story for 7 years, and made him a major character of mine. (The only thing is...the re-injury was my idea. But this time...I felt like he had the strength and grace to cope with it.)
And that word means "illegitimate son."
And yeah, that's normal steel. Since steel is an iron-carbon alloy, it's an easy material to come by. I do imagine that for planets in life-bearing systems, that'll be fairly common.
Date: 28 May 2009 07:19 Title: Chapter One
"Unless, of course, there’s been a dispatch error in the hereafter and I’ve been sent to the Black Fleet instead." Oooh. Nothing like a bit of morbid humor.
Awesome way of asking questions simply. I don't think I could have been that inventive caught on an enemy ship.
Terhan. LOVE IT! (Although my keyboard seems unable to make that thingy over the a...)
Mindesa Rhos. Wow, what a patriot! I like her a lot!
"I somehow doubt throwing themselves upon a plasma-charged waste extractor is high on their list of honorable ways to die." ROFL!! This plan is pure genius! How on earth do you come up with stuff like this??
Poisoning the white. Eeek. Horrible way to go, I'm sure.
Author's Response:
The only way I've been able to get that symbol--so far--is when I'm in Word, because I set up a hotkey to do it. I'm considering looking for a way to do a custom format on my keyboard so I can type it when I'm on the Internet as well. I mean, the "ç" symbol is easy (just hold down ALT and type 135...at least, on an American keyboard), but the other--NOT so easy.
And honestly...I have NO earthly idea how I came up with that plan. I just knew I had to get the Vorta by herself--and after an experience where I got locked in an airplane bathroom, that was the first thing that came to mind!
Date: 28 May 2009 07:04 Title: Prologue
I just love your enterpretation of Gul Macet! He's just made of awesome! And I know I've said it before, but much love for the explanation of the beard. :oD
His deliberate hacking of the vorta's name is such a cleverly disguised insult. SO Cardassian! I love it! (Oh and again, I love you have your own words for certain Cardassian things. Like the language. Cardasda. Genius!)
The Trager. *sigh* The epic love story about a man and his ship. Beautifully written!
I also love your take on what happened on the Enterprise. Makes me want to watch that episode again and again!
WOAH! What a way to be hurled into the story! You had me from the very first line! And I JUST watched the episode your location is borrowed from, so it's wonderfully fresh in my memory! Awesome timing. :oD
"...the universal translator took one listen and gave up." This made me laugh in the middle of all the deadly seriousness.
On to next chapter!
Author's Response:
Glad you enjoy it! :-)
And yes..."The Wounded" and "The Siege of AR-558" were both SUCH powerful episodes!
[Report This]Date: 02 Apr 2009 20:46 Title: Prologue
I really enjoyed this story. One thing I really like about fanfic -- possibly because I do it myself -- is when authors take a niche, be it a less-explored character, a less-explored alien race, an unexamined time period, etc -- and make it their own, delving very deeply into it and truly understanding it, without at the same time demonizing everyone *else* in the canon. You've done that with the Cardassians. Your creation of their language rings right to me as an amateur linguist who's invented languages for fan projects myself; your extrapolation of their culture from the pieces that we saw in DS9 and TNG was very well done; and I enjoyed *all* the characters in this story. I was glad to see that the main human character doesn't instinctively like or trust the Cardassians and has to overcome his fears, and the fact that you remind us that he has good reason for those fears, however honorable the Cardassians he's dealing with now are. I was also glad to see that the Bajorans have an even harder time forgiving and forgetting. And I have loved the Cardassian gender politics of engineering since it was first introduced on DS9, so I'm glad you followed up with it here and made most of the engineers and techs women.
Author's Response:
Thanks for reading! I do hope you'll stay tuned for future chapters...this is probably going to end up being one of my longest works ever. But then I have a lot of ground and a lot of characters to cover! ;-)
Glad the language is working out for you, too. If you see anything, though, that ever seems not to be working, please do let me know. I would very much appreciate your feedback!
I figured no matter how amiable a demeanor Macet was projecting, it was going to be very tough to get someone in Spirodopoulos' position to trust. I mean, things sure didn't LOOK good--and even the whole rebellion thing was a VERY tough pill to swallow. I think it may even have been AFTER he joined the rebellion, when he talked with Berat, when some trust started to form.
The Bajorans definitely have their reasons to be uneasy with this arrangement--though the younger Webene, who's had a comparatively larger percentage of his life in freedom is having an easier time with it than Ensign Folani. But keep an eye on some of the others, as well. There are some others who have reasons to be distrustful. Chief Librescu, for starters--he's a Cardassian War veteran. And the borderworlders, as well--being near the DMZ area can sure lead to some hard feelings...
The gender politics are fun. ;-) I'll give you a bit of a spoiler as to HOW they got that way: in Cardassian society, when the men went off to war, the women were expected to keep house. BUT...in the Cardassian definition, that included not just looking after the children, but making all other responsible decisions, be they financial or maintenance. So the women ended up learning how to do all of the repairs for the house, the car, and so on, and girls were raised seeing their mothers doing these things. So girls ended up getting an edge in experience over their brothers--hence the female superiority in engineering/sciences.
Of course, some men are good engineers too. Topak is--and Berat...HE really has an amazing mind for it. Now, advancement for women into the command track is a lot harder than it is for men in the engineering track, though. Gul Rebek came up through the engineering track. That's part of why I depict her as tinkering with the hunter array when she's off duty--believe it or not, in Cardassian society, that's a "girly" habit. (And so is the fact that she STILL--even as a gul--does her own small repairs in her quarters.) From a gul who doesn't mind being thought of as very feminine, this is to be expected. ;-)
[Report This]Date: 02 Apr 2009 09:04 Title: Prologue
And so ... it begins. The end of the Cardassian/Dominion partnership. And one of the most complex, heavily researched and wonderfully rich series begins.
Author's Response:
Awww, thanks for the stars!! :-)
Date: 29 Mar 2009 18:51 Title: Chapter Ten
Another breath-taking installment. The battle scenes are picking up a bit, and there's plenty of tension and intrigue to keep the pace up. Macet and Berat are both wonderful as always.
I suppose the biggest thing I might have some... well, not issue with. That would be the wrong word. But the idealism of the Federation in trying to preserve life and avoid cruelty seems to not get the fairest shake here. Not that I believe it's a perfect system -- you know me, I'm more'n willing to dive into the dark side of that society -- but the kind of derision is seems to face from Spirodopoulos is a bit disturbing. Certainly there's nothing wrong with the IDEAL of preserving life and avoiding cruelties, but it seems more like he's shunning the ideal overall instead of thinking more of a realistic compromise.
Then again, on the field of battle there tends to be a lot of absolutes. I wasn't too surprised by the Cardassians finding the terrans to be too naive (again not always a bad quality, as with all things, moderation is a key), though -- it's true that by that century, they may be a bit too naive. Of course, after the way, doubtless that changes.
As always, a thought-provoking and interesting part.
Author's Response:
Before I get started...I want to say that I definitely intended that scene to jar people. I wanted Speros' act to catch people off guard. And yes, there is some real cynicism in Spirodopoulos. Understand that he would not have gone as far as Speros had he had control of the situation--but he had to react VERY quickly to his first blush on the situation and find a way to do so without breaking the alliance or causing his own people to turn against him.
Things are moving at a pace, though, where there's a lot less time for nuance than there was before. I'll send a detailed explanation of that over at TrekBBS.
The Cardassian view that humanity is too naive is established in the series. Remember Garak's reason for being disappointed in Julius Caesar? He found it naive to the point of childishness and buffoonery that Caesar never saw the betrayal coming, but says that Cardassians spot it right off in Act 1.
Date: 29 Mar 2009 13:05 Title: Chapter Ten
Another tense segment. When something goes right something else seems to go wrong.
Again, the scenes with Macet and Berat in them make for the most compelling and engrossing. I think it is a measure of the depth of character you have created for each of these fascinating characters. They are so Cardassian and at times then because the world you have created is so rich and varied they seem to eskew the Cardassian stereotype. But then that's the beauty of this story and world, it becomes clear there is no real stereotype and that the characters are all different and unique.
The story moves forward even as we learn more about Cardassian servitude and loyalty to their state. Berat allows the Dominion to come ever closer knowing it might very well spell disaster for the plan but to act otherwise would betray the plan. You made a Cardassian virtue a plot device to rack up the tension. Great work.
Author's Response:
Thanks...it really makes me feel good to know you're seeing my Cardassian characters as multifaceted men and women. The uniqueness in the Cardassians is--to me--something that was established in them right from the start, and I feel that approaching them as a one-dimensional stereotype does them a real disservice.
To treat them as though their system turns out nothing but unfeeling killers--or to take it one further and act as though the only way to redeem them would be to destroy everything recognizably Cardassian about them--wouldn't be right. To go that far, to turn them into Federation clones, would be like saying that there is nothing worthwhile in them at all. You might as well let the Dominion finish what it started if that were the case. And I just don't think it is.
I'm glad you like it!
Date: 26 Feb 2009 20:48 Title: Chapter Nine
Fascinating piece! Finally caught up; it doesn't feel quite as breathless as a true battle, but the imagery in the beginning was powerful, and the covert ops made me grin. The ending line is a bit of a kick in the gut, too; a very creepy kick in the gut, I might add.
Author's Response:
Thanks! :-)
The battle has definitely not hit full intensity yet; it's going to be a series of engagements that form into a big picture--but the pace is definitely going to pick up. I'm a couple of chapters ahead in my writing, and it's definitely going to move faster.
And glad I managed to creep you out! I'll be interested to see how you react when I submit the next part...probably on Sunday. (It'll only be half a chapter over at TrekBBS; I'm only going to post here when I have the full chapter.)
Date: 02 Feb 2009 07:12 Title: Chapter Nine
An amazing exercise in world-building. You flesh out the Cardassian culture in ways that are just mind-blowing. People who read this will probably never look at that culture or those people the same way again.
Author's Response:
Thanks! I'm very glad you enjoy the perspective. If I manage to do the Cardassians even half the service that Diane Duane did the Romulans, or John M. Ford the Klingons, back in the TOS days, I'll be happy. :-)
(Ahh...and as to why I phrase it that way--it has to do with the Cardassian way of saying, "Thank you." You say, Pakar malin çada, which is, You do a service, to which the proper response is, Tihadpet rouk--It's only duty.)
[Report This]Date: 30 Jan 2009 22:11 Title: Chapter One
A thoughtful exercise exploring the Cardassian culture marked by it language, characters and unique take on telling a Dominion War story.
Highly recommend. I continue to follow this story with great interest and anticipation.
Author's Response:
Thanks...I really hope you continue to enjoy it! :-)