Date: 17 Feb 2010 15:38 Title: Chapter Fifteen
Absorbing and excellent as always. One can understand the practicalities and politics at play nnow that the immediate threat is over for the two sides to work together. Personnel deployment throught the largely Cardassian fleet being foremost. A lot of room for things to go wrong. Macet genuinely wants the Starfleet crew to settle in and feel safe but there is much suspicion and tension still. As seen with the doctor feeling almost as if the loss of a Starfleet life in his hands might be cause for trouble.
Of course, as a Vulcan fan and author of T'Vel who through the process of a mind meld and katra transference was highly damaged I was so excited at the Vulcan story here. Really well realised and executed Nerys. Thoughtful and considered approach to writing as always.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reading! :-)
You're right, that Macet really does want both crews to be able to work comfortably with each other, but there's no way it can be a perfect situation, and I think there's good reason, too, for Spirodopoulos to have concerns.
And the doctor...you NAILED it. He definitely has a fear of being accused of not trying hard enough, or worse, of doing something to cause T'Ruveh's death. Add to that the fact that as a member of the Cardassian Guard he hasn't really had a chance to practice on other species, and he's definitely apprehensive. I think he fears that if he DOES get blamed, that because he's Cardassian, he won't be believed even if there was nothing else whatsoever that he could've done. :-(
[Report This]Date: 16 Feb 2010 03:22 Title: Chapter Fifteen
The problem with reviewing this chapter is that there's just so much to it. It's densely written (athough it doesn't drag at all ... it's just really full of imagery and moments worth mentioning and I can't mention them all).
I'll hit the highlights, though I wish I had the time and energy to say more.
First of all the conversation between Macet and Spirodopoulos was fantastic. Spiro's protectiveness of the men under him, and Macet's understanding and even being impressed -- that was a nice moment.
Then the shower ... you manage to always remind us in the little ways what the differences are between Cardassians and humans, and the story is richer for it. Just top quality world building. And then Spiro checking himself out in the mirror with the Cardassian armor on ... getting a small moment to think ... that was great.
And of course, we have the Vulcans. Superbly written and handled from start to finish; the reactions of everyone involved were just spot on, from the Vulcans to the Trill to the human to the Cardassians. A very moving scene, indeed.
Well done (as always).
Author's Response:
Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing!! :-)
I'm glad you liked the fact that Macet was impressed! One thing I remembered from "The Wounded" was Picard's mention of his prior encounter with the Cardassians, and he approached them with shields down...and they were NOT impressed. My explanation of that is that they were not only not in a good mood, but were insulted by the fact that (to their perspective) Picard did not consider them worthy of defending against. Here, Spirodopoulos shows he DOES recognize the strength of the Cardassians...and Macet respects that. This working relationship, I think, will be very, VERY different from the one between Picard and Macet.
About the shower...just in case you're interested, that "scrubber"-looking thing is meant to scrub old microscales off, kind of the Cardassian equivalent of using a loofah for exfoliation, except it's more necessary for them.
The mirror scene...that's one I'd really been wanting to write about for a long time. There was no way seeing himself in that armor--REALLY seeing himself--wasn't going to have an impact!
Glad you liked the katra scene. I wasn't quite sure about that, about having not just the Cardassians but the human uncomfortable with it...but I have to admit, it does creep me out now that I'm older and I consider the implications.
Thanks again!
Date: 20 Dec 2009 01:20 Title: Chapter Fourteen
Caw blimey! It's over and right enough when they reach the nebula what then? a brutal battle and brilliantly realised throughout and brought to a climatic end with a brutal underlining as the forces turn on the planet and eradicate all that is left. The Cardassian ways certainly are no the Federation ways. But coldly it does make sense and I imagine it really pain Macet and Berat to take this action.
Wonderful combat scene - brilliantly conveyed and more wonderful too for the technical details would read right and the view through the engineering eyes of Berat. Exceedingly well crafted moves and actions and fitting descriptions to go with and all grounded in Berat's engineering knowledge and of course in a very Cardassian way.
And still we have Mike taking the guns and giving us a human insight into the Cardassian way of things. Brilliantly done Nerys.
Author's Response:
Well, we'll have to see what happens! :-D
Anyway, I'm really glad you liked it. The ending was a very tough decision for me as the writer, as well as for Macet. As IntrepidSovereign pointed out, destruction of resources when you pull out of an area is very much Cardassian SOP (as we saw with the withdrawal from Bajor). That said, though, this is a very different bunch who are doing it, and I know they're not just doing it for the hell of it. And they are not happy with the loss of lives, either, even though they believe it must be done.
I am also glad to know you liked the technical stuff! I figured an engineer in battle was going to be seeing things from that standpoint--that's why he uses the Cardassian equivalent of the kind of tactical screen we saw in "The Wounded," and other schematics and statistics, while in battle, rather than the direct visual on the viewscreen like a lot of commanders use. It's not to distance himself from what he's doing--rather, he SEES better that way.
BTW, with Berat, I think you really get a chance to see how differently even a laid-back Cardassian crew operates than a Starfleet one, and you can see where Berat's unease with Nance's command style and on a few occasions with others of the Starfleet members in the RR came from, and why he reacted the way he did to those things.
Date: 20 Dec 2009 01:07 Title: Chapter Thirteen
Glorious. Simply glorious. The detail. The execution of the plan. The intricacy of the different stages and the variances in responses. All make for a great action sequence as this tale continues to play out impressively. All the while maintaining its unique Cardassian voice and feel. Everything is couched and skewed through a Cardassian lens, and it makes for an extraordinary reading experience. Berat, Macet and Mike are such heroes one roots for them in all earnest and we cheer when the plan goes right. Terrific and absorbing.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for your kind words...I really appreciate it, and I'm glad to know you can sympathize with these alien characters, and Mike. :-)
Date: 18 Dec 2009 20:20 Title: Chapter Fourteen
The McAllister C-5 Nebula? Near Minos Korva? That brings back some memories. (I watched "Chain of Command" a few days ago. ;) )
Destroying assets before leaving is Cardassian SOP, but I like that Macet didn't force the Starfleet personnel to be part of it. Yes, they could have given the survivors time to change side, but time was something the TO doesn't have, plus you had no idea if those who appeared to change sides would still be plotting against you. Human in me says give them one more chance; Cardassian in me says it has to be done.
So now we go hiding in a nebula...
Author's Response:
Yep, that nebula--though I tend to think of it as the Kounamab. ;-)
And wow, you REALLY caught Macet's thought process, in the decision that he made, and why he did it. That wasn't easy for him, and it sure as hell wasn't easy for me to write.
I would say that when he initially asked Spirodopoulos to fire on the base, he simply wasn't thinking. When he saw the look on Spirodopoulos' face and heard what he felt about it, I can tell you that Macet genuinely felt bad--and not just because forcing the Starfleet personnel to participate would've undermined the alliance.
Date: 16 Dec 2009 03:56 Title: Chapter Thirteen
Ahh! The tension is almost too much! There's got to be more!
Author's Response:
There's one more half-chapter or so section on the TrekBBS, ahead of this. But, alas, it's a work in progress. ;-) If you need more, there are the short stories...and the Catacombs of Oralius AU as well. ;-)
Yes, I've been slow on it lately--but AU Dukat is to blame, largely. He keeps sweet-talking me into writing more material for him. (And if you had him in YOUR head, you'd understand. All the charm but with a sincere heart...can't resist!)
Date: 16 Dec 2009 03:24 Title: Chapter Twelve
"Defective"? Is that what some snooty Vorta said about Berat? Um...that Vorta assumed room temperature, right? :D
Anyway, great space battle!
Author's Response:
That Vorta is currently held in cold storage--i.e. he's on an ice block right now. Not dead YET. But could be headed that way after the war. Either that or a niiiiiice, long interrogation.
Glad you like the battle!
Date: 16 Dec 2009 02:28 Title: Chapter Eleven
YES!!! That toad Gruner got roasted! Wasn't even man enough to face his fate out in the open.
I feel there will be more heroic sacrifices like Ngaer's before it's all over. :(
And Macet! Yikes! I don't want to be at the wrong end of that!
Author's Response:
BWAAAHAHAHA! I knew you'd love that! I was SO happy when I got to write him getting fried.
Ngaer, on the other hand--that was tough, definitely.
As for Macet, HE doesn't like it any more than you or I do. He's putting on an act to try and get Uradnen to crack, hoping she'll think he's a lot more like his cousin (the canon version!) than he really is.
(What's hilarious is that the alternate version is actually quieter and gentler in basic personality than Macet!)
Date: 15 Dec 2009 22:24 Title: Chapter Ten
Okay, I had been getting Iymender's name wrong. ;)
Ocett thinks Rebek is too girly? Hey, if she carries around a sniper rifle and knows how to use it, she's free to be as girly as she wants to be! :D
Author's Response:
LOL, what were you thinking it was? ;-)
And yeah, Rebek IS really very feminine in her behavior by Cardassian standards. Badass when necessary, but very girly. Small, little voice, interested in experimenting with her looks, curious, mechanically-inclined...all of those are feminine traits for a Cardassian. Tinkering with machines in her off-time is VERY feminine, as is the fact that when something goes wrong in her quarters, mechanically, half the time she's likely to go tearing into it herself instead of calling maintenance. I suspect she has a toolkit stashed away somewhere so Maintenance--or Va'Kust--can't get it away from her. ;-)
Date: 15 Dec 2009 02:14 Title: Chapter Nine
Dang! I like "the Good Glinn" even more! :D
Author's Response:
I'm so glad you like him. :-)
Man, there is so, SO much more about him I am just positively bursting to tell, and I still can't! It's driving me CRAZY!!!!
Date: 15 Dec 2009 01:32 Title: Chapter Eight
Please tell me Gruner gets his head handed to him. Please? He's got to pay for this!
Author's Response:
You shall see!!
:evil grin:
Date: 03 Dec 2009 06:39 Title: Chapter Thirteen
Taut and tense throughout! Now that the battle has really heated up, it's very clear that Berat and his allies have what it takes to get the job done. I love the tactics and the wide scope of the action. I hope there's another installment soon!
Author's Response:
Thanks! :-)
I hope there'll be another segment soon, too. You'll be seeing one over at the TrekBBS first, though. This story is one I love, but writing it is NOT at all easy.
Date: 26 Oct 2009 05:49 Title: Chapter Thirteen
Another brilliant chapter!
I LOVE the nod to the Borg-episodes! Awesome!
And the space station with six pylons instead of 4! I love it! Do you have a name for this type? Like the others are 'Nor' types.
Cute little moment with Iymender and the "universal language". Hehehe.
And I'm loving the fact that Berat allows himself to think that maybe the Bajoran terrorists "knew" stuff they were SO not supposed to know, even while his brain is screaming at the impossibility of it. Hehehe.
That inverter thing sounds... downright creepy. Will we hear more of this later on? If not, then I'll have to drill you about it in emails. Cause I neeeeed to hear more of this!
This chapter made me shudder, gasp, cheer, giggle and cry in one big mess. Holy smokes! Intense!
*faints*
Author's Response:
Thanks! :-)
I do not have a name for that class of station yet--not sure if I'm going to.
And glad the Iymender bit didn't come off as out of place! I just kinda figured that at his age, and with the situation he was in, he was likely to react that way.
As for Berat...he's not an arrogant person. Plus, he's had a prior experience before The Thirteenth Order (which you see in DS9 novel #6, Betrayal) where he saw some things that really gave him food for thought. So, I think he's more willing to be open-minded about the Bajorans than many of his people. I wouldn't even say that his brain was necessarily *screaming* the impossibility of it.
As for the inverter, we actually hear about it in the TNG episode "The High Ground," and this link has the Memory Alpha description:
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Inverter
Except THIS version really works.
Date: 15 Oct 2009 20:16 Title: Chapter Twelve
Space battle! Wooo! I'm positively buzzing with excitement!
Brave Iymender! That ankle has GOT to hurt!
Woo! Sneaky Berat! That's one hell of a trick!
GAH! Why isn't this finished?? You're killing me. Just killing me!
Author's Response:
There should hopefully be a new chapter up soon. :-) But this is gonna be a looooong story, it seems!
I'm actually writing stuff for Chapters 15 and 16 now, so I'm actually ahead of what I'm posting.
And yes, Berat's a really sly one if you're an enemy of his! Anyone who counts him out because of his disability is in for the technical ass-kicking of their life!!! :-D
Date: 15 Oct 2009 20:01 Title: Chapter Eleven
Awesome to see how Spirodopoulos' soldier instincts kick in at crunch time. I swear my pulse raced right along with his!
I also kinda expect Spero to shine here.
NOOO! Bird chick getting shot down! *wail*
Woah, Macet really knows how to threaten a true Cardassian. It's actually kinda scary.
And a cliffhanger ending! GAH! More!
Author's Response:
Macet IS really scary here, especially since this is way out of character for him.
And glad to know Spirodopoulos feels cnvincing as a soldier! :-)
Date: 15 Oct 2009 19:11 Title: Chapter Ten
LOL, Rebek and Ocett's rivalry is very amusing in its volatility! Duras sister #3! HEHEHEH!
Ouch! Poor Iymender!
How is his name pronounced btw? I-mender or EE-mender?
*biting nails* I hope this ends well!
Author's Response:
Glad you like it! What's even more ironic is that we've heard Ocett's feelings about Klingons, in TNG "The Chase"... ;-)
And it's the second pronunciation--EE-mender.
Date: 15 Oct 2009 18:56 Title: Chapter Nine
Woah... Daro's got one major set of huevos... But then again, whatever the mystery stuff he is known for is, it must have been bad. Must have required similarly sized nuts.
This is so exciting! I'm hooked!
Next chapter! Now!
Author's Response:
Well, there'll eventually be an answer to the "mystery stuff"...the question is, who considers it bad and who considers it good? ;-)
And yes, it took him a LOT of courage--especially considering Cardassians have a hierarchical instinct that makes them feel even more instinctively compelled to obey authority than what we humans feel.
Date: 15 Oct 2009 18:38 Title: Chapter Eight
Ah, here is that wonderful description of the bioelectric fields you mentioned. Wonderful! No wonder voles are impossible to get rid of.
Your idea of the hunter array to explain those hideous helmets is brilliant! And I love that Macet was embarrassed by having to wear it in front of Picard. Hehe.
I have nothing more eloquent to say about that furst half. I was totally on the edge of my seat, hungry for more!
Ew... the Gruner guy makes my skin crawl. Excellent writing! Oh, and that hint at Dukat's swaggering flirtation is just epic!
When he shoots Sorabec I just wanna... *grrrr* Lemme at 'im...
Rushing on!
Author's Response:
The funny thing is, the bit about voles living in high-voltage areas is canon. So when I got the idea about Cardassian sensing bioelectric fields, I had PERFECT justification! :-D
And I'm glad you liked the hunter array idea!
I am VERY glad, though, to hear that you agree what a creep Gruner is. I actually had one reviewer back on the TrekBBS try to tell me that he thought I must be setting up some sort of love interest, even though it was VERY clear that Sorabec wanted no part of his attentions. Kind of that "no means yes" crap that some men still buy into...very sad to see from a Star Trek fan, believe me!
Date: 15 Oct 2009 18:11 Title: Chapter Seven
Another lovable character introduced in this chapter: Iymender!
I can quite vividly imagine the tension around that table. Oy. What a collection of people. Phew!
Author's Response:
Indeed, they're quite a diverse collection of people!
And I'm SO glad you like Iymender! I imagine him as being played by the same actor who plays Dr. Reed in the show Criminal Minds. :-)
Date: 15 Oct 2009 17:56 Title: Chapter Six
"Burakgazi’s speech bore a distinctive form of border-colony syntax—the oddly common verb-first construction an influence most of them would rather die than acknowledge as Cardăsda in origin."
Another wonderful language tidbit!I love it!
"Dukat-the-avenging-angel-of-Cardassia…" Perfectly put!
Oh and I love the little mention of Legate Ghemor. :oP
I guess some of the inspiration for your lovable characters shine through here. I might go and read Betrayal, just to hear more of Berat. :o)
Onwards!
Date: 25 Aug 2009 01:34 Title: Prologue
I loved the visual of the ship in the upper atmosphere and the intense lightning strikes. I honestly don't give a fig for technical purity in a story as long as whatever is happening at least makes sense. Excellent update!
Author's Response:
Thanks...so glad you're enjoying it! :-)
Date: 16 Aug 2009 13:13 Title: Chapter Twelve
Macet certainly can be intense, certainly he is very driven and determined - in mauch like his cousin - only Macet has better judgement and makes better calls on what moral side to come down on. The tensions and betrayals seen in that segment will serve to show the strife that will endure in Cardassai after the Dominion War. Those who opposed it and did something to throw off the yoke of the Dominion and those who did nothing, with those who actively supported the Dominion up until the last days. It is actually forboding as to the future integrity and strength of Cardassian Union. For a culture so determined by the state and loyalty to it, the Dominion War and alliance and that befell the power because of it will sow long lasting discord and strife.
Wow. Berat sure does throw a hard six! That was quite elaborate in a way, certainly carrying off the writing process of it is somehting else. But I liked the tension Berat feels welling up inside himself awaiting the execution order and his skin physically tingling with the nerves. Nice atmosphere heading into what is quite a gambit.
I agree that his engineering knowledge allows him to risk lots of different things and approach things in a different manner than other Guls. Terrific stuff. Edgy and dramatic. Well done Nerys. I had to have my fingers crossed for Berat. Then the reveal of the plan and the high cost it involves. An awesome move, brave, bold and almost reckless. But it was going to take such a move in order to get past the superior Dominion forces. But whilst the forces might be superior in numbers and/or strength. They do not have the cunning of those who came up with this plan. Very audacious. I'm reminded of nuBSG when Adama plummets Galactica into the atmosphere of New Caprica. However, this very much had its own trek feel and very Cardassian in execution. Plus BSG didn't have the difficulties and concerns of what damage jumping into full impulse within an atmosphere might cause to contend with. Nor did it use that disruption to its advantage to clear fighters and shuttles off the surface. A great diversionary tactic. Berat might wince to know this, but my McGregor would be very proud of that move. Great stuff Nerys.
Author's Response:
There are a LOT of different elements that could feed into the future of the Cardassian Union, and yes--this is already one possible fracture.
Macet, indeed, can be very determined--but like I said, that harsher part of him feels like an ill-fitting mask to him.
And about Berat--yes, he DOES take some major risks, that's for sure! (That'll show the Jem'Hadar and Vorta to call him "defective"...those a-holes!)
I was inspired by the storming of New Caprica, yes. But I'm glad it still feels very distinct to you--that was a real concern of mine considering I had such a direct inspiration for Berat's maneuver. Thanks very much for your feedback! :-)
Date: 16 Aug 2009 12:10 Title: Chapter Twelve
Wow, that was intense! Keep it coming!
Author's Response:
Thank you for reading! :-)
Date: 03 Aug 2009 18:16 Title: Chapter Eight
Even as battle is joined the various characters here reflect on their lives, as one (I imagine) naturally would on the eve of what might be a lethal endeavour. I especially appreciated Spiro's prayer, a simple gesture yet one filled with myriad meanings here.
Great work!
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for reading--and especially for reviewing. :-)
And I'm glad you liked the prayer. A lot of people (at least over at TBBS) seem to think such things have no place in the Trekiverse, but I thought it would be neat to see what belief in the 24th century looks like. Severely diminished, to be sure--but rumors of its death have been greatly exaggerated. ;-)
[Report This]Date: 02 Aug 2009 05:20 Title: Prologue
I'm glad I finally had a chunk of time to sit down and read this. I didn't want interruptions! I am extremely impressed with your ability to juggle multiple characters and perspectives without bogging down the narrative or losing track of the main plot.
I also think pacing in this is a huge strength. There are just enough pauses in the action to allow the reader to catch a breath and get a glimpse into the minds of the major players so that it's not one overwhelming battle scene. There is still enough action to keep it all flowing, and you convey the peril to the rebels extremely well.
I'm looking forward to seeing how this one ends!
Author's Response:
Thank you very much! The pacing and scope of the story has been a serious concern of mine, so I'm very glad to know it's coming off well! :-)