Date: 19 Jun 2013 00:24 Title: Phoenix
Oh my ... ok. So I thought, ok, this is going to be all warm and pleasant for an ending, we have Justine joingin Jessica and then Dossu as her XO too. The crew is getting built and tada we're sorted. And it was a bit like that but you had just enough charm and warmth to it so it didn't seem contrived and then swtich
We get the ending and man oh ... what's that all about? Talk abotu rug pulling and and talk about leaving us hanging with a mystery. Fab.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 00:20 Title: Turn
You have to be commended for writing such a hard piece. Trying to write mourning and to express it in such a way to give depth to it and seem maudlin and everything else in between is really hard. Especially given that despite the 'stages of mourning' there isn't really a timeline, there isn't really a methodical approach as to how someone walks through their grief. However, I think your writing was bold and brave in tackling it and you didn't pull too short on telling the story and make for a quick premature exit.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 00:15 Title: Dreary
A fantastic scene here with St. Peter railing against a storm, she's stormy by nature and name and so it was a nice vision and a neat tactic to take with things. Given her situation she was limited in who she felt she could talk to and rail against and vent her frustrations and ask her questions of. Truly she had to ask them of herself to get the best proper answers so it was fab to see her ask questions of the storm clouds.
She goes through so many different things here in her self talk and one even wonders who she is talking to - Bridget, her mother, God? when she speaks to the storm. But the answers she prods from herself and the manner in which she does talk all make for great reading. Very well done.
Date: 19 Jun 2013 00:10 Title: If
Blame the prophets if you want after rereading the Silence challenge entry I see this leaping out at me. Shows how you strive to make character continuity and development and do so with a light hand and don't ram it down the reader's throat. Very good way to approach things and again leads to the easy natural reading style of your writing.
Then we have St. Peter getting mad at Starfleet and even Seurer and herself too. There's a lot of anger to go about and maybe a lot of blame to go about. But at the end of the day it was a horror that befell Starfleet on that day - what else might have been done to have changed the outcome of that? I don;t think much could have. Anyway, really good to see your characters grappling with these issues post the event and so by default really good to see you write and handle things in this way.
Date: 17 Jun 2013 00:29 Title: To Blows
Ouch all round to the pain and the revealations going on here. Dear oh dear. So Starfleet knew and did nothing if we read Nizeri right. Why they would do that is strange and baffling and very disturbing. We will read on to find out.
Date: 16 Jun 2013 22:58 Title: Fair
Really? A Borg attack! OMG!
As to everything, I love now the image of Sonia hiding out on the crippled ship unaware of its saved status and there's something remarkable and dangeorus about Suerur going over awol and without an EVA. She's a determined and crazed engineer.
Date: 16 Jun 2013 22:52 Title: Shocked
A long road to recovery for sure. Justine is still suffering in the biggest way and St. Peter is at a loss. A frustrating mess to be in.
But man oh, what a teaser you put up there to begin with. A holoemitter bulkhead wall camoflage to hide Sonia. What the heck is that all about?
Date: 22 Nov 2012 02:49 Title: Phoenix
Read all these and I eagerly await more. I'm certifiably in love with the characters you have here. :)
Author's Response: Heh, thanks bud! Working on #3 right now, though it might get pushed back a little to try and do this monthly challenge. Keep a look out for the stories coming soon!
Date: 24 Oct 2012 17:39 Title: Phoenix
Oooh ... intrigue ....
I love that Dossu will be her XO (kinda suspected that would happen).
And the gaping maw - eek!!
Date: 24 Oct 2012 17:14 Title: Turn
Ah, a breakthrough - this is good.
Date: 24 Oct 2012 16:54 Title: Dreary
Uneasy is the head on which lies the crown.
Date: 24 Oct 2012 16:46 Title: If
Bargaining (another Kubler-Ross stage).
Date: 24 Oct 2012 16:42 Title: To Blows
Ah - the Kubler-Ross stages of grief are upon us. Here we are in anger.
Author's Response: :) I'm glad you picked up on my little scheme. Although, as I continued with the idea, I think it tied my hands more and more. Probably won't try this again, lol.
Date: 24 Oct 2012 16:36 Title: Fair
Poor gal is, methinks, unfit to be on a ship. I think she's a danger to all around her. After all, what would she have to lose?
Date: 24 Oct 2012 16:32 Title: Shocked
I'm not surprised our Jess feels she's failing at this. But when someone loses a mate, it's probably the second-most profound loss anyone could have, barring the loss of a child.
Just want to reach in the screen and tell her - you're doing fine, but this is beyond your skill set. It's beyond everyone's.
Date: 18 Oct 2012 15:18 Title: Turn
Are Jessica, Justine and Bridget of the same age? If they are then this whole story will make a lot more sense to me.
Author's Response: heh, yes, they are. Jessica is maybe a year older, and Justine is definitely the younger one of the trio. They were best friends at Starfleet Academy and all recent graduates.
Date: 18 Oct 2012 15:09 Title: Dreary
I really like the clever use of the thunder storm echoing Jessica's mood and understanding of herself. It's like a cool sort of implausibility; the thunderstorm reflecting Jessica's mental state. Once I've read this story I'll go read the one preceding this because looks like some serious stuff went down...
Author's Response: Thanks! I thought it would be a fun thing to do; the original, first character ever for Jessica, she was a hero in the game "City of Heroes," a storm controller (think a blue version of X-Men's Storm) who went by the name "Storm Scream." She was a teenager, so besides being very not in control of her own powers, she was also highly emotional. It wasn't uncommon for a black rain cloud to be following her around when she was depressed. This was my little...homage, I guess, to that original Jessica.