Date: 27 Apr 2009 23:23 Title: Step 14: Attaining (or Reattaining) Grace
A very thoughtful piece here Steff. I've not been part of fandoms for very long. Hope Station was one of the first and it went by the by. The Trek Guild was another but it served more to get the stories out there, so there was no negativity surounding it. The only other place I post is TrekBBS and I've always found the fiction board there full of happy and polite responders. If people were not interested in your story, they just simply didn't post comments.
Such an experience, and I assume from the experiences you allude to, means I've been very fortunate and lucky. However, my luck has been surpassed in this site where there is a very genuine and positive atmosphere. I love being part of it and reading the stories, many and varied therein.
It strikes me as odd that people could react in a negative way and create such hostilities as you point out. I guess part of the problem lies in the automatic nature of the post response and the difficulty in taking things back. When it was plain ole paper and writing, not text messages or message forums, people thought more about what they wrote. They considered every word and dwelled on the meaning and possible reprecussion it would have on the reader. Now it's all too easy to throw something out there but even harder to take it back.
The act of attaining grace is something difficult and ardous for any to do. But a rallying call such as this, is fruitful and encouraging and inspiring. The desire to do better, to treat others better, should be the thing that drives all of us. I guess a lot of it comes down to people thinking, 'Would I like to be treated so? Would I take offence at that?' Obviously, in the medium of forum posts, etc, it can be very easy for things to be misinterpretated. It can be very easy of us all to be too lazy to clarify our thoughts and words. It can alos be very easy and lazy of us to not read more carefully what someone means by their comment and to consider where it is they are coming from.
Oh to be Vulcan-like with the IDIC philosophy. Might we all accept those infinite diversities and revel in our differences and see them as strengths and valid opinions, even if different.
Anyway, don't know why I felt compelled to reply and give such a block of text back, but I thought in th spirit of the comment, the idea to give back, to reward with a review or a comment was the lesson to learn here.
Thank you Steff, for your words and your rallying call. I'll try to blow my bugle in my endeavours.
Date: 27 Feb 2009 22:08 Title: Step 14: Attaining (or Reattaining) Grace
Thank you for this.
Like we've discussed this week, I've suffered from this problem myself. The funny thing is that while I backhanded the core values of hipsters, I was blind to my own actions and how closely they were related. After all, I couldn't be a hipster! I appreciated things! And I wanted fandoms to not be a distant as they are! So, I couldn't be causing that!
It never dawned on me that the struggles I had to be happy in fandom again were tied to all of the negativity that I surrounded myself with. I'd love to say that I'm just dense at times, but I really did mess up here.
While I think your words "reattaining grace" sum it up well, I'd like to add the idea of "relearning sincerity" as well, but this might be a personal level thing. I love being a fan, but I knew that there was something missing. A large void that once was full.
To answer the questions you posed, being graceful in fandom to me means fully understanding why we are here and what is needed at this point in time. Sometimes, a clue-by-four is needed when a troll darkens our doorstep, but for me, I need to relearn that I dont' have to be defensive all the time. It's OKAY to be open. In fact, we should be more open. The only way we can tell the different between when criticism and praise are needed are to go out and use our emotions. Practice. Society seems to frown upon this, but screw them, frankly. ;)
I think the main reason as to why this is coming to a head now is that with the downturn, we're slowly realising that living in a bubble only goes so far. This has seeped deep into fandom. The biggest con in Toronto is nothing more than a giant shopping mall. Sure, I can get good deals, but there's rarely any interaction.
I think, the first step, one that I stated back at the start of the year, is to get more involved in fandom. For me, that means more PoG coverage, but also attempting to read and review fics that have been recced to me and working on that column idea. I don't want to sound self-centred, but I do think that I know a decent amount about the writing process and media in general and I've lived through things that many people only have nightmares about. I shouldn't be using this as some stupid badge to prove that I'm better, but allowing people to get a glimpse into the insights that I have. Again, it comes back to being more open.
That and leaving the snark comms helps. I'll probably still read Fandom Wank, but that's a odd case. Unlike FFR and BRPS, which just seem to bring me down, things like Crystalwank, Snapewives and Twilight fans actually make me happy to be a fan. Insanity wins over mudslinging, although given what's posted on F_W, I'm going to have to be mindful to avoid the postings of vapid anger.
Author's Response: Yeah, I think the biggest wakeup call was when I realized that I was as bad as those who were jumping my case. I wondered, really, when I got away from the core ideals of the Journey, which was always, always about guiding young authors and teaching them that 1.) They are not helpless and hopeless, 2.) They will improve with time and practice, and 3.) Being a part of the community goes well beyond just writing and posting. It means involvement, give-and-take, learning.
Leaving the snark comms has made a massive difference in how I feel now. I actually feel like MYSELF again, if that makes any sense; like this black cloud has gone away. I feel bouncy when I see a new fic, a new review, a new member join Ad Astra here.
I think you're right about us needing to learn or relearn openness and empathy. There's so much we have to offer each other.
Thanks so much for the comment, Rach.
Date: 23 Feb 2009 00:43 Title: Step 13: Looking Back
Thank you for your thought-provoking reflections--you've really given me some stuff to think about in my own writing.
I am glad you clarified a bit in your section about character torture. I've had some characters that go through a really rough time: Berat, for starters--reopening his old wounds was something I really debated. But odd as it might sound, I did it because I felt that now (unlike the Berat at the breaking point from Lois Tilton's novel) he has the strength to handle it with grace. I'm also working on a short story now that features him...and it will be rather fun to watch a certain bad guy's underestimation of Berat get him in some very serious trouble.
The one I really struggled with was AU Dukat. What I did in "Exits in the Haze"...man, I really worried I was going over the line with that one; it was WAY out of my normal box. And yet...and yet...I felt like it was an important commentary on the power of faith and individual responsibility--that this Dukat could go through something way worse than canon Dukat EVER had in his entire life, and yet take responsibility for himself and be a much better person than canon Dukat ever was. Sometimes that story still disturbs me to read it and I wonder if I should've done it. But I felt like it had to be done, as distasteful as it was.
(The stuff on AUs was interesting, too...I often wonder just how much people will really feel that AU Dukat IS Dukat, or AU Marritza, for that matter.)
About soundtracks...ohhhhh boy, do I EVER have them! Would you still be interested in an e-mail as to what kind of songs I listen to as I work on Sigils and Unions?
The section on love...oddly enough, Sigils and Unions originally came about from speculations about an unlikely civilian couple that popped into my head. I'd love to write that novel fully someday, but having never been in a marriage (and hardly even dated) I feel as though I'm working at a deficit and that maybe I don't even have a right to an opinion on the subject.
I think you're very right about the fact that even a good marriage will have its rocky parts. And yet...maybe I'm wrong, but I think that aside from the inspiriational/Christian genre, we much too frequently see examples of serious dysfunction on TV or in the movies, and that it might be nice to show a normal, stable marriage--one with ups and downs, of course, but one that isn't a constant screaming match. (Which was what irritated me so much about the way the O'Brien marriage was portrayed...you'd think I'd sympathize with the woman, being female, but I really felt like Keiko was being a bitch sometimes.) I feel like it would be nice to write about something that's not all about wild sex or marriage-breaking fights.
One thing I would've been interested in some thoughts on is how different cultures and courting customs might play into the stages of love you outline. What you wrote made sense for a Western marriage on Earth...but I have to wonder, what about some of the alien cultures on Trek? Just take one example: what if you're looking at a culture that doesn't believe in spending your entire courtship/engagement "on your best behavior"? How might even that small difference affect the way the relationship plays out? What about interspecies couples and the cultural phenomena surrounding that? (Though me personally...I'm not so into the biology of it! ;-) ) I think that maybe there are ways those orderly steps could be shaken up...
But again...who am I to talk? It's not like I have any real experience...
Author's Response: With the section on character torture, I had written the original issue specifically because I had come across a high number of stories where a character was needlessly beaten up just to pull sympathy from the reader. It became one of my most popular issues; there are people still quoting from it today. It wasn't, obviously, that I felt people couldn't write pain... more that it had to have a purpose outside of tugging on heartstrings.
I think, when it comes to AUs, it's most often in the hands of the author to really make it believable by building the world around them. I say you do a fine job.
LOL! Remember that I wrote these back many, many years ago and my calls to action are many years old now. If I do another issue on music and its influence on writing in the future, though, I'll certainly be asking you for them.
I really do believe that anyone can write a marriage so long as they understand the people involved in it. You don't have to be married to try it, though real life experience always helps; writing may even help you to be better prepared when you do get married. It's all a matter of research and compassion and careful handling.
Remember, too, that this column was written a long time ago and mostly geared towards younger authors; in that day, most romance fics were very fluffy and didn't show the more realistic side of marriage. It wasn't written as a comprehensive resource, so much as a gentle nudge in the right direction. ;-)
As for marriage in other cultures, that would likely fall under 'research,' but I'll keep it in mind for a potential future topic. Barring that, you're welcome to write a guest-column. ;-) I take a very pan-fandom approach to the Journey, and likely will continue to, but I certainly don't mind others chipping in on more specific fields that they study. Obviously. ::grins::
Thanks much for such a thoughtful comment!
Date: 22 Feb 2009 15:05 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
Steff, you are a treasure. Perhaps now I will stop killing grammar.And verbs.And....and almost everything. LOL
Vero
PS Do tou have something to say about the use of "....." ? I use and abuse them, and some authors do the same, I have noticed.
Author's Response: LOL! Not yet. I'll get there, though. Thanks for the comment!
Date: 22 Feb 2009 07:59 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
Very well-explained!
Man...this makes me intensely grateful for the very strong grammar education I received. I moved around from place to place as a kid, and the really great part of it was that different schools had different strengths.
In one school where I went to 4th grade, the math was particularly weak (a whole year behind what I'd done in 3rd grade), but the grammar was VERY strong. Between that and a bit more that I picked up in 7th or 8th grade, I never really had any other grammar education. This came as a big shock to a college professor when I told him that other than that foundation I got in 4th grade, I was pretty much flying by the seat of my pants when it came to my writing!
More on subject...I can definitely think of some more points that would be deserving of essays: apostrophes and commonly-confused words come to mind, and basic comma use (though in the final case, there is disagreement among style guides).
Author's Response: I'll eventually get to writing more 'mechanics' issues here in the future. Mostly, I wanted to go and link the past issues, where there's a decent amount of information especially for newer authors.
My grammar education wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either. I honestly learned almost everything I know about writing the hard way -- lots of practice, and reading both the Elements of Style and the Elements of Editing. Awesome books, both.
Date: 20 Feb 2009 22:00 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
I don't think I'll be commenting on whether I learnt it at school... LOL. Good work on assembling it all together in a simple and understandable form.
Author's Response: Thank you!
[Report This]Date: 20 Feb 2009 17:55 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
I'm trying to adjust to this. I, of course, NEVER learned about this in school (English classes over here basically consisted of endless vocabulary and a few basic grammar lectures)... it is very helpful. Thanks for putting this up here! :)
Author's Response: You're welcome and thanks for commenting!
[Report This]Date: 20 Feb 2009 15:47 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
It is a fundamental problem with education (at least it was with mine.) I never got to write dialogue in any project in high school (we were very busy acting out analyses of our assigned books) but never really got to write this way until...oh...about two years ago. So - you're teaching - and I'm learning!
Author's Response: I'm glad to help! I didn't learn most of this in school, either. It's a shame, honestly.
Date: 20 Feb 2009 07:47 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
A good covering of how to use quotes. I've seen many writers use them incorrectly.
Author's Response: Me too. And we're talking about otherwise wonderful authors. I think it must be a fundamental problem with schooling.
Date: 20 Feb 2009 06:19 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
This is a great tool..I actually gave it a bookmark..will refer here as often as I can...thanks for the 101
Rob
Author's Response: Anytime, Rob!
Date: 20 Feb 2009 05:30 Title: Dialogue Mechanics
Oh my gosh, you're posting this in the format of The Journey. It's like I'm 17 again! HEEEE!
This would have been a massive help when I started out. I remember struggling with dialogue tags a bit when I started out. On a stupid note, there were classes on fiction writing at the high school and university I attended. However, they were almost always held during the last year of a program. The university one required you to be an English major too. Not really helpful for everyone else.
Author's Response: LOL! Yeah, I figured I might as well. The Journey was a great part of my life, and I miss teaching. D'you know, it was actually Bodger who was the one who fixed my dialogue screwups? ::grins:: Heck, I'm starting to feel twenty again!