And a fun wrap. The clues were right there from the start, but played low enough that they weren't obvious. Agatha Christie would be proud.

Also really enjoyed the Prime Directive discussion at the end as well as the ensign's take on things. Just another Tuesday at the office..

Thanks!! rbs

Okay - this chapter was just a seriously fun romp. Always nice to have the Jim Kirk effect - "There are five of us...." "So go get some more guys and it will be an even fight..."

Super brawl description - to the point, but with enough graphic detail to make it cinematic. 

Thanks!! rbs

Okay - I love the second truck dialogue - I've had to bark that way on occasion - adds a touch of humor and verisimilitude in one go. And a bolian too nice to insist on being paid attention to.

Good aculturation too with the references to Tia and Brothers - giving a sense of a unique local mythos.

Also, quick resolves from the two questions leftover from the opening chapter - what is Horizon Protocol and why couldn't they just scan for the phasers. Critically important to make sure such potential plot-holes are neatly resolved.

Thanks!! rbs

Okay. Horowitz? Best summary of the situation ever. Talk about a delightful look at just how easy it is to violate the Prime Directive, and just how much they managed to do so, all in the pursuit to uphold it. I loved both of them, and their personalities, and their 'Detective team' vibe -- it's definitely a borderline police mystery, and the resolutions is so very neat, and even a bit laugh out loud funny. A comedy of errors, indeed.

I liked your secondary characters; they were immediately recognizable as extras in this procedural drama. And the last line is a terrific stinger. My only recommendation would be to go through it again and catch those little mistakes that caught my eye; you have a few in each chapter. But otherwise, thanks for a fun read!

Author's Response: Hey, glad you liked the story. It was much more light-hearted than my usual fare and I'm glad that worked out. Comedy is much harder to write than drama and it's good to see that the humor came across. Now you did inspire me to go back to this story and look at it again from an editorial standpoint. And what I found was that my spell checker was literally turned off. Oops. I've gone back and made a number of corrections to this tale. Glad it wasn't too much of a distraction and you still found a way to enjoy it.

This has taken a turn for the fascinating! I love how it descended into the nightmare of any cop (or security guy): He said/he said. I'd like to note a few writing issues, though, if I may: I think you mean wary, above, not weary. There were also some minor misspellings and missed words: The Bolian had no sympahty to offer. “What did you do the phaser rifles, Tigus?” Which should be: The Bolian had no sympathy to offer. “What did you do with the phaser rifles, Tigus?”

There are a couple more. But otherwise, another great chapter of what's shaping up to be a very entertaining story. Horowitz and Zolwut do remind me of cops, some (a field I have ample experience with), and that makes it all the more fun to read.

I so much love the nod back to TOS canon, and the way the protocol got its name. I also particularly love the exasperation that Zolwat has to try to deal with, and the little misspeak of 'Goddess gracious', which I suppose is entirely valid as well.

I think, though, my favorite part was Orgun-Tia and the second truck. As dialogue goes, I could hear it ring out in my head, and it seems like a deceptively simple bit, but it captures... living interaction, I guess you could say. Not stilted, scripted, but what people actually sound like. Well done.

That is a pretty good summation of things Val. Perhaps Zolwat will appreciate just how much damage he did or potentially did down the line. A story like this shows the difficulties faced by Starfleet on a basic level for the lower decks people. Some times we think the Prime Directive as only causing a headache for the captain. A refreshing new take on it.

And of course, now we know why there was so much shouting to out everything into truck number two! A simple little resolution on the front but at the end of the day, the larger picture is as murky, ugly and unresolved as before on the planet.

And to conclude, in the words of Srena, "Horizon Protocol has been a success."

Bolian buoyancy, my friend! Hee hee. I also like the many other little touches or irreverence and humour throughout this. Building on a very interesting buddy system between Val and Zolwat. And as predicted, Zolwat's faith in their helper turned out to be a bad idea and they almost walked into a neat little early ending. Instead, their training kicked in and they tackled the thugs easily. Nice to see Starfleet fighting skills having an impact and seeing trained guys being able to take down a large group of lesser trained ones.

Without this lead though where will they go to track the rifles? All this remains to be seen. A very ahrd mission to be sure to carry out.

Well we certainly have the lowest of the lower decks in play here don't we. It seems Val and Zolwat have quite the challenge ahead of them - perhaps even more of a challenge as she has to put up with Zolwat's rather cheery outlook and idealistic slant on things. Hee, hee, I like that contrast and it should prove to play off each other as this story develops.

I like too the chaotic business of the planet side relief efforts and the fact there is no real Starfleet or Border Patrol efforts in co-ordinating things. It merely is up to the inhabitants themselves to sort matters because the situation is that no one wants Starfleet on the ground anymore - the government (whatever remains of it) and not Starfleet itself.

“Those are our orders and I hear they come all the way from the top of the food chain. Apparently this is a real political hot potato and you won’t see a lowly ensign like me asking questions about it.”

Yup, a strange new world for the idealistic Zolwat here to learn that realpolitik plays a part in how Starfleet operates as much as it plays heedance to the principles of its doctrine. I rather imagine that by story's end Zolwat will have perhaps lost some of the sheen for how shiny and nice Starfleet and his job is.