Date: 07 Oct 2014 03:24 Title: Baptism of Fire
I really enjoyed reading what's been written so far. I like seeing the expansion of the universe, seeing different ships and crews. I also like the fact that there's a bit of tension between some of the characters. Looking forward to more.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wrote this to expand the universe, to show another crew out there on the frontier. There has to be tension in order to tell a good story, in order to put the characters on their jouney.
Date: 19 Jul 2014 02:09 Title: Baptism of Fire
Ah, nothing like witnessing the commision of a brand new starship. And a consitution class nonetheless. I can clearly see the crew assembled and awaiting to hear the commencement speech. I always like stories that unveil new class starships. It gives us a look into the newest technology and what the ship is capable of. The crew no doubt will have many adventures aboard the USS Constitution. I look forward to seeing where this goes. Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. What was happening here was the change of command ceremony as an old ship was heading out for her final mission. Thanks for reading.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 01:04 Title: Baptism of Fire
And at the end we see that indeed, Marshall understands he may be living under his father's shadow whilst in command of the Constitution. Funny how he ends up spilling that out to Hightower. Maybe it is the past connection to her as obviously something was between them. Does his being divorced and their working together now mean a new opportunity for romance? Maybe, maybe not. But it certainly could bring about a host of complications. Or it may be that it serves to make this a doctor/captain relationship that works. She manages to get him to take his medical in a record time after all.
If the introduction of Marshall showed he could be brusque the introduction of our Andorian XO shows he is definitely that. I love how he lays down the law here with the newbies. And cocky navigator slips up on so many fronts. I liked the jogging Ortega linking the first two scenes. I like touches like that. But it also showed an array of different kinds of interactions and we get here in this chapter definite signs that despite the rosy surface all is not sweet on the Constitution and Marshall and others like Hightower and Vrymel will have a lot to prove in their new positions.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I wanted to show early on that Marshall is vulnerable to a point if nothing else so that he can spend the rest of the story proving himself. You're right about Marshall's statement to Hightower, next to Vreymal, Hightower is his oldest friend. As to where their relationship goes, I can't say at this point.
Vreymal was inspired by the character that Louis Gossett Jr. played in An Officer and a Gentlemen, the tough as nails drill sargeant. It is the exact opposite of Marshall which is why I had to include him, even though his assignment to the Constitution is temporary. The cocky navigator is there just for that reason, and hopefully in the end he will be humbled. My goal with this chapter was tp finish introducing all the major players. You're right everything is not as rosy and sweet, but that is what makes a good story.
Date: 14 Jul 2014 00:51 Title: Baptism of Fire
The ficlet dance entries made me very excited for this story as those ficlets showed how developed the characters are and how much their backstory could likely impact on the ongoing stories of the Constitution. With the first chapter here, we get the scene being set for what promises to be the background to this.
Firstly, we get a great feel and introduction for the setting and a few of the characters we are too meet. It's a solid start and introduction, especially to Marshall but it serves also to offer a nice vibe of the TOS era.
I said to you before, about liking the choice of having this be the ship's last five year mission. It adds a certain something to the proceedings. A sort of ominous nature, a sort of expectancy of some great adventures ahead, as though that mere fact alone adds to the challenge and the possibilities. I like that very much. The awe and wonder of a 5 year mission is all still there but there's an added resonance and impetus to it being the ship's last.
I also like that you have an extended family connection going on with Marshall as it sure does make him different to so many other fanfic captains out there. In addition, he's a man with a lot of family legacies. An interstellar family business that could have afforded him luxury and still a galaxy exploring habit (as seen with his brother) and then there's his parents. His father's legacy particular is keenly felt by his absence and by the fact of his being a former captian of the ship. It means he has much to measure himself by, especially as others have good words to say about his father's time as captain. Nevertheless, it is something to aspire to and yet I'm sure Marshall will also seek to forge his own legacy and path. He after all wanted the Enterprise over the Constitution and took umbrage at Kirk getting that command over him. With graying temples, Marshall perhaps may feel all the more pressing need to make his own legacy keenly felt.
Great start that promises much.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review.
With the ficlet stories I wanted little nuggets to show where the characters came from, so that I as a writer as some idea. It worked a whole lot better than I thought it would, and transitioned smoothly right into the opening paragraph of Baptism of Fire.
The TOS era is very unexplored in fan fiction at least at this point when I'm typing this. I had tried the 24th century during DS9, and it appealed to me since it is my favorite of the Trek series, I found I just couldn't write what I felt was a very good story set during it. So I went a little further back, and then a little further back before arriving at the TOS era. The reason I picked the Constitution was that it was a ship we knew was around, but we never saw. Some of the characters I have recycled from other stories that I had tried to write, and they just fit in this era.
The final five year mission idea actually came to me while I was watching the Battlestar Galactica miniseries. There was a scene where there were dignitaries being shown around the ship as it was being prepared to become a musuem, and that just kind of stuck with me, and it evolved into becoming the final five year mission from there.
Marshall's background I have elaborate backstory on. I can tell you this my reasoning behind it was born out of the television series Dallas. My thinking was that what if Bobby Ewing could join Starfleet? What would he have to give up? Who paved the way for him to get there? That is basically the genesis of Alexander Marshall while leaving ties for some interesting family drama down the road if I wanted to explore it.
Date: 11 Jul 2014 16:50 Title: Baptism of Fire
Ouch, looks like nobody likes psychologists, not even the CMO. Considering the guy should know how to deal with people, he doesn't strike me as being very good at his job.
It's going to be interesting to have Hightower and the captain have history. He claims to be over her but being freshly divorced is an interesting angle. Something could happen there.
Now that the crew has all settled in, I'm eager to see what kind of adventure you have in mind for them.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. Hayes is based on Stupanek from the movie Down Periscope, a dedicated pain in the butt. He ins't meant to be good at his job.
There's one detail about the Hightower/Marshall personal relationship that I haven't revealed yet. It's coming but I can't say what it is at this point.
Still doing some research at the moment to get the crew where I want them to go. I may have to take things in a different direction than I originally wanted to, but that's ok. Looking forward to writing more.
Date: 11 Jul 2014 02:17 Title: Baptism of Fire
Much conflict to start! This comfortable ship isn't going to be so comfortable for any slackers for long!
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I didn't want things to be like TNG where everyone gets along right from the start. I've got the emotional journey planned out for a lot of the characters, and it's going to take conflict for them to grow. Yes, Vreymal is tough, but he means well.
Date: 27 May 2014 21:56 Title: Baptism of Fire
Good to see where your 2014 Ficlet Flashdance stories fit in with your overall story line and arc.
Sad that Brad Marshall did not live long enough to see Alex take command, but space is a dangerous business. I love the little hints of what is to come, from the story that Nora is about to tell, to a little something about Jenna being in the Border Service, to Jason being a fine student. There is nothing about Alex having a wife or Jason having a mother, so I take it that something would be mentioned later on in the story line. Of course there is what you had mentioned in the Ficlet Flashdance but I am also curious about how you will fit that information into this particular book.
Are there plans to continue with this story? Please say yes.
Author's Response:
Thank you so much for the review. At first I wasn't sure how the ficlets would tie in, but I think it turned out well. I consider it a success because it allowed me to develop some backstory on the characters, and I believe that is important so that you know where they came from.
You are right space is a dangerous place, and in one version I did have Brad Marshall live, but be confined to a hoverchair like Christopher Pike. He would have had the lines I eventually gave to Nora, but told from a first person point of view. There's a lot of the Marshall family background that I have in my head that I did not reveal (but will in due time). At the time I wrote it, I hadn't decided the fate of Janice (whether or not she & Alex were still married), but I have since then, and I will work it into a future chapter just to resolve that question.
Yes this story will very much continue. I am in the middle of writing chapter two. It took a backseat during the Ficlet Flashdance, but I hope to have it ready to go very soon.
Date: 26 May 2014 04:14 Title: A New Beginning
And finally, we get a window into the new captain's thoughts as he prepares to take command.
Date: 26 May 2014 03:59 Title: Lord Mr. Archer
Very nice. I love the nod to tradition - by nature, sailors are a superstitious lot and are reluctant to do anything that might bring bad luck on a crew or vessel. You captured that well here.
Date: 26 May 2014 03:43 Title: I Got Stripes
How sweet to see a mother's pride in her cchild, as that child pursues and realizes her dreams.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Date: 26 May 2014 03:30 Title: Drinkin My Baby Goodbye
Oh my. How's he going to handle it when he finds out Anita has just accepted a position as his new CMO? I get the feeling the bit of overindulging was due just as much to his failed chance with Anita as it was to his failed marriage to Janice.
Date: 26 May 2014 03:13 Title: A Rush Decision
And so, the Constitution is getting her core crew under a new captain. Interested to see where this goes.
Date: 25 May 2014 21:53 Title: A New Beginning
Introductions are complete, and it looks like the crew is assembled. This should be an interesting series to follow on the archive! Good job!
Date: 25 May 2014 21:51 Title: Lord Mr. Archer
Ooops...
Who let the new guy do this? Isn't there some rule about making sure the new guys know all the traditions in a unit? Or is that just the unit I'm in? lol
Hope they get it done in time!
Date: 25 May 2014 21:46 Title: I Got Stripes
I love doing calls to home; it never seems like much emphasis is placed on characters' families that they've left behind to do the job, even the ones who had good relationships back home. This was nice, and definitely sounded like a mother who doesn't have much experience with the military - something I have dealt with myself many times. Fun little read.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. We hardly saw the character's familes during TOS with the exception of Kirk's nephew, and Spock's parents. I wrote it the way I did because I wanted Ortega to be the first of her family to join Starfleet. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Date: 25 May 2014 21:37 Title: Drinkin My Baby Goodbye
Ouch...that's harsh. Interesting to see the captain with real problems that he'll have to deal with outside of command, too. But ouch...
Date: 25 May 2014 02:15 Title: A New Beginning
This ending tied it up nicely, Mick. I liked that you closed out with the captain's personal thoughts right before he takes command. That's a big assignment, especially back then, and it seems like there could be some interesting interactions in store between the CMO and captain.
Date: 24 May 2014 22:18 Title: A New Beginning
I've enjoyed reading these all week and being introduced to the crew of the Constitution. These have all come together very nicely. Interested to see what you do with the characters. Looking forward to reading more...
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I enjoyed writing them. It worked far better than I thought it would. Now back to writing chapter two of Baptism of Fire.
Date: 24 May 2014 22:09 Title: Lord Mr. Archer
Poor guy. He thinks he's helping, only to find out that he made a pretty big mistake. At least she's helping him fix it, and the Tranquility will make it's run, hopefully, so tradition can be upheld. Well Done!
Date: 24 May 2014 20:11 Title: A New Beginning
a sense of coming together, of beginnings. Very decent piece all through the week.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I tried to bring them together as a part of the main story, and it just didn't work. These ficlets presented a good opportunity for me.
Date: 24 May 2014 18:57 Title: A New Beginning
Ah, so Alexandar Marshall did take command of the Constitution. Nice how all the ficlets came together in the end.
I really enjoyed all the stuff you brought to the table to share for the challenge Mick.
Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review, and for reading. I wasn't sure how to bring it all together at first, but I think it turned out well. Looking forward to writing more of these characters.
Date: 24 May 2014 17:26 Title: A New Beginning
Starfleet nepotism, alive and well. Between that and the romantic angle, looks like you've got all the makings of a classic story, here. Love it.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Date: 24 May 2014 16:15 Title: A New Beginning
Definitely a new beginning! I'd love to see what happens next with this ship and crew.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. The adventures of the crew begin in Baptism of Fire.
Date: 24 May 2014 15:50 Title: A New Beginning
A solid Captain Log, to show the big boots left to fill and the history with his CMO all seems very interesting. Well Done.
Congratulations on completing your TTOT 2014 tale.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the review. The history yes is fasicnating, and I have some of that in mind already. I may right it eventually.
Date: 24 May 2014 15:25 Title: A New Beginning
Oh this bodes well... ok maybe not. These ficlets offer up the promise of a very intriguing story set up. Looking forward to more Constitution. Appetite well and truly whetted.
Author's Response:
Thank you for the reveiw. My purpose in doing the ficlets was to set up the crew. I"m glad it wetted your appetite.