Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Aug 2012 00:24 Title: The Awakening

Figured I ought to go back to this one and give you a more thorough review LBD. Firstly, I wanted simply to reassure you with the first review that this worked. It worked on so many levels. So very Trekian. So very you.

Secondly, it was a really fascinating story. I love stories that seem to be full circles. How fitting that Spock should be the one to inspire Surak. LOL. If only the other Vulcans knew! But truthfully, it is very fitting. If it happened in canon, we might think it too small universe, maybe even too fanboyish. But being a fanboy I liked it here. And it really was of a quality and standard that made it not fanboy standard but much more. The mature and eskewed manner in which you explored it from the unknown boy's point of view made it a much richer and better story.

Admittedly, I pinged the fact that it was Spock and his likely side-kick in such misadventures who had crashed landed. And then twigged to it being Surak. But that detracted nothing from the story for me. I found it immensely rewarding and rich and just a fabulous moment of whimsy and Trek lore. Terrific job.

Author's Response:

Thanks, again MF.  I expected people to 'get' who the aliens were right away, although I was hoping they might have switched their identities at first, until the one alien started speaking to the boy.

I left lots of clues as to the planet of origin and who the boy might be, but my goal was to not have folks figure it out until near the end of the piece, only to see their 'lightbulb moment' validated in the last paragraph.  That was my main conern, and my main fight - did I leave too few clues, too many?  Would folks be frustrated at the end, vindicated in their speculation, or simply rolling their eyes at how easy it was to figure out...

All of you have been so kind in your praise of this piece, and helped to assuage the fears of someone who is still not completely confident in her abilities, especially when I consider the vast amount of talent displayed by writers on this site.  I consider it such an honor to be allowed to rub shoulders with all of you. :DD

Reviewer: TemplarSora Signed [Report This]
Date: 30 Jul 2012 16:54 Title: The Awakening

Ha! Called it! And an interesting paradox you present to us. With as much time travel that TOS did, it wouldn't be that far fetched to think this could have happened. Nice job, I enjoyed reading that!

Author's Response:

Good on ya for figuring it out ahead of time. :D  The time travel was part of why I struggled with it so - at first, I wanted to explain how they got there but that would have entailed telling it from a different POV, or a lot more explaining of things to the child - things he probably wouldn't have understood anyway.  Hmmm...might warrant a rewrite from a different character's POV...

Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2012 15:32 Title: The Awakening

"The fact that it took a while for a confirmed TOS/Spock fan to figure it out gives me hope that it came off close to how I intended."

Yeah it took me a while to work out who was who, I realised at the start it was a Vulcanoid race but it was the desert landscape and the boy's reference to how his race and Spock looked similar, when a light bulb clicked in my head...

Author's Response:

And that was what I wanted.  My intention was to leave little clues throughout, but to have the readers' speculations run rampant; for them to be all over the map concerning the identity of the boy before the big reveal at the end.  Guess it worked, at least on some level. ;-)

Reviewer: Strider Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2012 06:12 Title: The Awakening

I knew it I knew it I knew it! I love this! I love how I thought the boy was a Romulan for a long time before I figured it out. And then the portrayal of Spock was so good, from the eyes of someone who had no experience or preconceived notions of him. And I was moved by Spock's quiet determination and steady loyalty. I also liked the way Spock simply treated the child like a person...not specifically a child. No wonder he had such an influence on him! I know what you mean about a story fighting you, but I think you won this round.

Author's Response:

:bows":  Thank you, madam.  I was hoping it wouldn't be too easy to figure out; wanted readers to have many ideas concerning the identity of the boy, as well as the injured man - was hoping people would think it was someone else at first - before the big reveal.  Good to know my wounds - from fighting with my Muse - were not in vain. ;-)  The fact that it took a while for a confirmed TOS/Spock fan to figure it out gives me hope that it came off close to how I intended.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jul 2012 01:09 Title: The Awakening

A wonderfully satisfying conclusion! Reminded me a tad of the TAS episode Yesteryear, which I have always loved.

Author's Response:

That's why it fought me so hard - I wanted to make sure there was still some doubt in the mind of the reader until the very end. ;-)