Date: 28 Jun 2012 01:27 Title: Chapter 4: Space Station K7, 2293
Excellent. An excellent story.
Date: 28 Jun 2012 01:24 Title: Chapter 3: Qo'noS and Khitomer 2291
Really well done here again Mac. The Klingon focus at the beginning worked well to depict Klingons as more than empty vessels thumping their chests and proclaiming their honour. You have good, bad and ugly here and you made a tense scene from the film work out on paper from an unknown perspective. Well done.
Author's Response: my thanks indeed. Klingons as Ronald D. Moore showed in DS9 are much more than we think. Even they can change.
Date: 28 Jun 2012 01:12 Title: Chapter 2: Paris, 2291
I'm continue to love this and to love the movie magic of the writing. Liking the dialogue of the two diplomats (all of them actually but our two main guys have an especially good spark).
In addition, I like how you keep bringing in the focus between Spock and Sarek. Subtle yet touching and really well done. Excellent.
Author's Response: thank you. The idea was to sort of show Kamarag but the two of them throughout this period. I'd imagine Kamarag was quite integral during this period as Klingon Ambassador. Dialogue threatened to veer into Star Wars prequel territory but it works :)
Date: 28 Jun 2012 00:57 Title: Chapter 1: San Francisco, 2285
Wow. This is really quite terrific Mac. You capture a sense of the movie era feel. In truth, the films were not overly deep but they did tend have heart, to have something more to them, to the stories, to the characters and their journeys. With the shift of focus to minor character and the filling in of gaps of behind the scenes moments and the linkages made between the various movies you add a certain depth to the proceedings and do so with a flair of panache for it all. Really superbly done. (My only quibble would be to double check a few spelling errors and an odd grammatical glitch - simply because as of this the first chapter this makes for exemplary reading and they are jarring for that reason).
I'm pleasantly surprised then given the turn of conversation between Sarek and Kamarag that this is not even the end of the story because we have at chapter's end a possible beginning, a step towards working together as the warrior seeks to use diplomacy to fight and to hope for peace. It could easily have ended here, especially as being part of a challenge entry. Joy of joys, I get to read some more of this though.
Author's Response: thanks, indeed mainly for the check on errors. Between us LBD and I try our best but I had some problems uploading this chapter because of a missing line. I might have uploaded a previous draft. They'll be more of Kamarag under my pen for sure. I grew up on the original movies before any series so they've always been my Trek. I like picking at the films, well II-IV mainly, and seeing what we can get. Kamarag needs more. Beyond "Sarek" by AC Crispin and one of the Lost Era books he's ignored.
Date: 21 Jun 2012 22:12 Title: Chapter 4: Space Station K7, 2293
'm glad that you didn't end it at Khitomer, but showed how the working relationship progressed through the years. They are still very much individuals, products of their environments and upbringings:
“Humans and Klingons…comingling,” Kamarag shrugged. “It is not right.”
“I believe some would have said the same of humans and Vulcans decades ago.”
Kamarag looked at Sarek and smiled. “Progress, Sarek?”
“Progress, Kamarag.”
And yet have learned to transcend those feelings, those prejudices in you will, in the interest of change and the greater good. A very nice fit for this challenge, indeed! :D
Date: 21 Jun 2012 22:10 Title: Chapter 2: Paris, 2291
I like how you've set the tone here - Sarek convinced of their innocence, Kamarag still unsure but open to finding the truth, and turning to Sarek, a man with whom he has not seen eye to eye in the past, but who he realizes now is the only one who can possibly help him to discover what is really going on.
He's suspicious - but of the situation rather than his 'enemy.'
Date: 21 Jun 2012 21:42 Title: Chapter 1: San Francisco, 2285
See? I told ya it'd rock. ;-) But seriously, it's so nice to see characters who got so little time in the movies (Kamarag especially) fleshed out; given a backstory that makes us sensitive to his plight, and motives that might otherwise be seen as typical Klingon blustering and bullying.
This really is a great piece, all the more so for the way you tie the two films and characters together. :-D
Author's Response: thanks. I do wonder how much I can weed out of the original movies. Maybe something on Carol Marcus :) my thanks
Date: 21 Jun 2012 20:33 Title: Chapter 1: San Francisco, 2285
Excellent work!
I particularly liked how you made the Klingon Ambassador, one of my favorite secondary characters from the film series, the brother of Commander Kruge's first officer. It gives his demand for Kirk's extradition a lot more weight.
Also liked the reference to Gorkon, a nice touch of foreshadowing. I'm wondering if at this point he was just an influential member of the High Council or already the Chancellor.
Author's Response: Thanks, I wish I could take credit for the backstory of Kamarag but that mostly came from AC Crispin's novel "Sarek", as well as the name (which many have reused in other novels). I wasn't sure if Gorkon was chancellor at the time of Star Trek IV, judging by Kamarag's "no peace as long as Kirk lives" I assumed perhaps he was on the High Council and the chancellor at the time much more anti-UFP then Gorkon seemed to be.
Date: 18 Jun 2012 11:30 Title: Chapter 4: Space Station K7, 2293
amazingly well done. absolutely brilliant look behind the scenes at a character that I often looked at as little more than a token, yelling Klingon.
Author's Response: Thanks. I think there's always more to these characters we barely see. Saavik, though in three movies has this whole back story not to mention some of the others. Kamarag just needed some prodding.
Date: 16 Jun 2012 23:32 Title: Chapter 4: Space Station K7, 2293
Ah, Kyle! That was a particularly satisfying shout-out.
I loved how the films intertwine well with the two men. Different, yet similar, when you get right down to it. And open minds - which they both have - are probably more of what makes peace than almost anything else.
Well done.
Author's Response: It's just another way of my picking the original movies apart. Kamarag is undeveloped to the point he doesn't have a name in the movies. If I had more time I'd have opened up more on him :)