Date: 19 Jul 2013 00:49 Title: Chapter 1
Funny thing here. I only mean to read a couple of segments of this story for now and then come back later to finish it up but once I started I couldn't stop until I got to the end.
Mostly I think this was due to the compelling dialogue here. It flowed really well and I like dialogue heavy stories which aren't slowed down by too much prose. It makes them fun to read.
While the plot wasn't exactly subtle, I suppose it wasn't meant to be either even though I have to admit that I found the level of intolerance and prejudice displayed by the main characters here surprising considering that they're suppose to be Federation citizens. But then again, I guess I have a generally more optimistic view of the future and the basic decency of the human character.
The plight of poor Desh who of course had absolutely nothing to do with the Dominion War and yet was made to be a scapegoat as bad as a black kid in the South during the time of racial integration, was so compellingly written that I was really hoping for an uplifting ending. And I was not to be disappointed.
Author's Response:
Oh, thank you so much! I like to write dialogue and I like to get most of my exposition out that way. I'm glad that that appealed to you!
The Nolans and Kittriss and Freela have been through a lot. And the Breen were essentially responsible for all of that, and it is very hard to forgive that. These are people who want to be tolerant, and who really are, when you think about how diverse their society is. The acting company is really eclectic, and a lot of older Federation enemies are standing beside Kit or Gina as they complain about the Breen - Xindi and Klingons in particular - and so the words should feel hollow, the complains ironic. If it were the ENT time period, they might be complaining about Vulcans. In TOS, it would be Klingons. In TNG, it might be Ferengi.
I guess I am more pessimistic but I am also more of an ENT fan, and that time period is closer to our own and our own problems with people who are different. Desh is, in many ways, wearing a metal chador. You can't see his eyes, can't break bread with him, can't relate to his social habits and can't even touch his hand in sympathy. He is even more of a cypher than a Borg drone.
I wanted the ending to be fairly optimistic, but things are imperfect. It isn't thunderous applause, but at least Gabby isn't clapping alone. It's a start. It is meant to be a slow thaw. But the gulf really is wider than the Sargasso Sea. This is one way to build a bridge.
Thank you again for your kind review.
Date: 26 Jun 2012 01:35 Title: Chapter 1
This is quite an excellent story looking at the after-effects of a devastating war from the point of view of everyday people. I got an idea of where this whole thing was with Jane Eyre and the central Breen character being given the male lead role. What was most interesting was how Gabby and her family would make some progress in tearing down the walls, but then take a few steps, especially considering the respective family histories. I rather enjoyed how the second to last scene was left hanging with their surprise that the Breen family was more or less was forced to live in a particular neighborhood.
Author's Response:
Thank you very much.
I want there to not be any easy answers. The Nolan-Kittriss family certainly can't fix the fact that the Breen are being warehoused. Plus Gabby never goes there. Will she, now? I don't honestly know.
Date: 24 Jun 2012 19:30 Title: Chapter 1
It shows for all of Gene Rodenberry's intentions that racism/xenophobia exists in the future as I suspect it will. Like our recent history the Dominion War shapes such feelings. A powerful story and trivially, good to see the name Azetbur bubble up once more
Author's Response:
Many thanks - I wanted it to not be a neat solution tied up with a bow. People take a long time to stop hating and fearing.
And Azetbur - you and I both shouted out to her - I figure this is a namesake. :)
Date: 22 Jun 2012 00:20 Title: Chapter 1
I really liked this for the fact that you explored the uglier side and prejudices of the Starfleet goodies. For once they aren't the enlightened and noble valiant few who rise above it all. Instead they are very human (or otherwise) and have failings. For those that can try to bridge the gap, it is something of a gradual thing, a small step here and there, a slow dawning of an understanding of a kind, a faltering step towards respect. It isn't just that Gabby is better than the others and so there is no patronising here but an exploration of the uglier emotions of ourselves that fits perfectly with the challenge and presents a great character piece in and of itself. Well done jespah.
Author's Response:
Thank you.
The phrase "Breen go home!" was the linch pin for me, the sentence that got it started. I was recently asked about race relations here in Boston and I think a lot of people think of how things are now, but they forget that there was a busing crisis here less than 40 years ago. I wanted to evoke Louise Day Hicks and a lot of what she stood for. There were rocks thrown here, and I had a sound in my head of rocks hitting metal, and the refrigeration suits almost seem like metal chadors.
There was also the concept of NIMBY, plus the casual prejudice - "They allow them to attend our schools?" I wanted to top it with Desh and his family being segregated away from everyone else. Good intentions, perhaps, but the execution by the Federation is clumsy and probably will go to a foregone conclusion. How can someone like that ever fit in? I didn't want there to be easy answers.
Thanks again.
Date: 21 Jun 2012 19:07 Title: Chapter 1
Bravo, jespah. You captured that xenophobic feel quite well - even down to blaming those who obviously weren't responsible (Desh and his mother) for the crimes committed.
It also reminded me a lot of ST:VI, where Gorkon says to Kirk, "If there is to be a brave new world, our generation will have the hardest time living in it." It's just a matter of fact that the generation who lived through tough times--war, an act of terrorism, what have you--is the one who finds it the most difficult to forgive. Right or wrong, justified or not, that's just the way it is...
Author's Response:
Thank you.
Gina is in the generation (and so is Kit) that has to forgive, somehow, and they've been so deeply hurt that they feel it's impossible. But of course they've gotta do it, in order to move forward. And they need to remember that they have been moving forward for quite a while, although this is a rather uncomfortable shove that is propelling them a lot more roughly than they had wanted.
Date: 19 Jun 2012 15:05 Title: Chapter 1
I've only read the first section, and already I find this to be brilliant. You really captured the feel of xenophobia as an allusion to what we've seen here against Muslims, with the "Ground Zero Mosque" and various hate crimes. I look forward to being able to leisurely read the entire thing.
Author's Response:
Thank you!
I absolutely wanted to evoke Muslims (and since the Breen are pretty much completely covered, they wear what is essentially a metal chador, but both genders wear it), but also the Little Rock Nine: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Rock_Nine and even the busing riots here in Boston, where this occurred: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Soiling_of_Old_Glory.jpg
These are nasty thoughts, and of course you should also think of Yankee, Go Home!