Date: 26 May 2014 06:49 Title: The Chapter
This story was amazing on so many levels. Where to begin?
I enjoyed all the descriptions of San Francisco, having a combination of antique and more modern characteristics. Glad to see some appreciation for the historical significance of the city. And it gives a nice perspective of the role that churches play in a society that doesn't believe in a divine power.
The whole narrative does provide some pretty good exposition of the families of both Jack and Beverly. Jack sure has quite "a live for the moment" attitude, first springing a spontaneous church wedding idea on Beverly. The sudden second wedding may have overkill knowing what Beverly knew. Then again, who can blame him considering his long absences?
Finally, I enjoyed the explanations of 24th century land transportation. Using the transporters or higher-speed hovercraft may be less time consuming, but those don't allow one to appreciate the continent's natural beauty. That gives them a more enjoyable honeymoon.
Author's Response: Glad to hear it went down a treat. My descriptions of SF are conjecture of course, I sort of figured that by the 24th Century it has been half 'modernised' (as you see in ENT mostly) and yet much of 'old' SF is kept. The novel "Best and the Brightest" gave me that idea. I've never been and always wanted to.
I also figure Jack was that live for the moment chap and as it turned out he ended up dying on a mission. Make the most of life when you can.
The land transport stuff was again mostly inspired by a novel, "Traitor Winds" where Chekov uses maglev to get around. Another novel by John Vornholt (Mind Meld) had big transporter centres for cross-country...Part of me likes to think trains and even ships are still in use in spite of advances.
my thanks for the review :)
Date: 25 May 2014 16:14 Title: The Chapter
I remember doing the beta on this when you first posted it and I love it as much now as I did then. You know I'm a TOS girl, so Beverly was one of those characters I knew peripherally, but I've really come to know and love thanks to your deft handling of her.
I absolutely love how you seamlessly blend your locations with your stories, making them a character in their own right. I could easily picture the little centuries-old mission, dwarfed on all sides by contemporary skyscrapers, feel the rain on my face in Seattle, smell the sea in Barnstable. Your knack for describing locations you've never seen in person will never cease to amaze me.
I loved the premise of this story, too - as with most members of the military today, so much that happens is due to the whims of service and postings. It rang so true that Jack would want to get married before he shipped out, as opposed to waiting until he got back.
You also captured that feeling of young love very well - tenacious, desperate, unable to bear the thought of being apart, even for an instant. Jack and Beverly's friends seemed to sense that as well, as they were willing to drop everything and attend the impromptu wedding at 4th and Market, as well as the 'official' one in Seattle several months later.
You really do have a way with Beverly, bringing a two-dimensional character into her own right, making her someone we identify with, and care about. It sure worked for this TOS girl. ;)
Author's Response: I doth blush. That stuff about the church I remember googling churches in SF then using Streetview and stuff (the effort I put in is stupid). Until someone from SF says otherwise, I'll plug away (I think Terilynn told me years ago on OS she's from SF). Of course it's done to you that this stuff gets out there and I'm appreciative for it.
Date: 25 May 2014 15:08 Title: The Chapter
What a wonderful story. We have some majorly talented writers here on Ad Astra, who constantly astonish me by the breadth of story that can be told using the Star Trek universe. And 4th and Market is definitely up there alongside those other stories.
I really enjoyed seeing these two events in the Crushers' life, both of which were extremely romantic. The sudden decision to marry in San Francisco seemed to fit the character of Jack Crusher, as did his later desire to "do things properly" for his family. You did a great job describing Beverly's feelings about these two events, her initial reticence that and the way she then gets into the spirit of things and enjoys herself.
You also did a great job with location. You painted a picture of an Earth that is both familiar and yet different, bringing in elements of the past while making it clear that they have changed, evolved and been replaced through the many years since our time. I have never visited either San Francisco or Seattle, but you did a great job of bringing them to life, always in very small, subtle touches, which are generally the best in any written work.
A nice use of pre-existing characters, including Keele, though I was hoping to see Picard at one of these weddings! :) Also liked the way you used the old uniforms since this was set during the Lost Years.
As I said above, this does a great job of showing just exactly how much can be done in fan fiction - it doesn't all have to be wish fulfilment or epic storylines, it can also be used to tell real life, touching stories that can speak to us all.
And a huge final lol for Jack's reaction to Beverly's announcement!
Well done!
Author's Response: Humbled by your review. I've never visited San Francisco and much of what I do with it here in Trek is conjecture (you get some glimpses in ENT and so I assume much of it is modern but a lot of 'old' SF remains). I've never visited Seattle. Heck, never visited the USA or anywhere else bar Nice in France for two days :)
I figured Picard wasn't that big a part of Crusher's life just then. Thank you for reading.
Date: 01 Apr 2012 23:26 Title: The Chapter
Very excellent story. You captured the behavior of military couples very well, and I liked how you did not include Picard at all, having it be entirely about the Crushers.
Author's Response: Truthfully never occured to me to include Picard or even consider them as military couple. Just two people in love really. I figured around the time of marriage he was at best Crusher's CO nothing more. You're most kind indeed and my thanks.
Date: 01 Apr 2012 21:14 Title: The Chapter
Nicely done Mac. It was neat seeing a romantic and happy moment with Beverly. You are writing so many of her missing chapters. Well done you for doing her such a kind favour.
Author's Response: Most kind MF. If only she knew :) Always thought about knitting all these together into some kind of 'giant novel' (as Titan used to call them) biopic of Beverly.
Date: 01 Apr 2012 15:52 Title: The Chapter
What a lovely, sweet fic! The place descriptions are wonderful. How like parents to require a 'proper' wedding; and the end made me chuckle.
Well done!
Author's Response: thank you most kindly. I guess whatever the century, parents are just the same.
Date: 31 Mar 2012 22:47 Title: The Chapter
Very nice, Mack. You know TNG is not my thing, but I'm finding that I'm getting to know and like Beverly very much thanks to your skilled and thorough handling of the character.
It's so nice to see her enjoying a moment of happiness; makes me sad to think this happiness will soon be overshadowed by tragedy.
Your descriptions of SF and St. Patrick's were rich and vivid, and made me feel like I was there.
Again, wonderful piece and just what I had in mind for this challenge - after all, our characters deserve warm, fuzzy moments too, right? ;-)
Author's Response: You do me a great honour. I don't know if my SF/St. Patrick's is vivid but then I'm the author :) The city so far from me has a certain place. There's a part that wishes I could have her carry on with Jack but such is Beverly she cannot. For now, only happiness here :) And yes, they do deserve warm and fuzzy moments. my thanks once more
Date: 29 Mar 2012 15:21 Title: The Chapter
Sweet and loving, as would be expected for this challenge - I got a feeling about those two crazy kids. :)
Author's Response: Thank you. The idea was for it to be more funny and humourous...dare I say something like a romcom. But my thanks all the same, the Crusher's have a bright but short future ahead :)