Date: 28 May 2014 18:53 Title: Bravado
Ok, without having read The End of Silence this piece came without context of why Kirk has this condition. I will rectify that situation and a quick glance relates the tale to a NuTrek version of the Tarsus Incident. For that reason, I like this already because I've seen the Taursus Incident written as a defining moment in mkaing the Kirk we know from TOS. It stands to reason that if there is a counterpoint in the AUverse then it too should play an important part of his life. The fact that you choose to give Kirk a condition, one that is career or life-threatening is surely going to have an impact and define him in some ways.
I like how you are using the AU as a blank template to reshape and retell old TOS mythos and canon but tailored to your universe rendition and ensuring to add depth. I like how you M'Benga into the proceedings and it is telling that Kirk is more willing to go to a stranger than to McCoy. I guess with McCoy there would be no getting away from the haranguing. M'Benga is blunt but fair and willing to give Kirk a chance when he could easily cause for him to be cashiered out
I love, love what NuTrek did with Pike and his mentor relationship towards Kirk. Given that he promoted a raw cadet to the captaincy of the newest ship at the time (heck one of the few not caught up in Nero's destruction) it is telling that Pike is not simply going to let Kirk walk away from his careful scrutiny. Pike though has to be hurt and angry at himself perhaps for not knowing now what he does. He makes lots of valid points about Kirk's condition, his choices regards command and his choices not to tell McCoy. i like though that Pike is again willing to give Kirk the chance and that he insists on M'Benga going with Kirk. It's responsible of Pike and again he acts as the model by which Kirk should try to emulate. We see clearly throughout that that is exactly what Kirk is trying to do. he wants to please Pike. He wants very much to make Pike proud and given that there has to have been as much in-universe shock and speculation about Kirk's promotion as there was among the fandom, you can imagine that Kirk wants to disprove everybody who doubts his abilities and in addition to that he has the meld with OldSpock with the memories/glimpses of the Primeverse to try to live up to.
Lots to like here and I will certainly be following the link to the first story and to get stuck into it. I'm glad to see NuTrek being dealt with a mature and in-depth character development progress and its full potential being exploited.
Date: 28 May 2014 18:45 Title: Bravado
Ok, without having read The End of Silence this piece came without context of why Kirk has this condition. I will rectify that situation and a quick glance relates the tale to a NuTrek version of the Tarsus Incident. For that reason, I like this already because I've seen the Taursus Incident written as a defining moment in mkaing the Kirk we know from TOS. It stands to reason that if there is a counterpoint in the AUverse then it too should play an important part of his life. The fact that you choose to give Kirk a condition, one that is career or life-threatening is surely going to have an impact and define him in some ways.
I like how you are using the AU as a blank template to reshape and retell old TOS mythos and canon but tailored to your universe rendition and ensuring to add depth. I like how you M'Benga into the proceedings and it is telling that Kirk is more willing to go to a stranger than to McCoy. I guess with McCoy there would be no getting away from the haranguing. M'Benga is blunt but fair and willing to give Kirk a chance when he could easily cause for him to be cashiered out.
Date: 25 Sep 2013 00:50 Title: Bravado
Pike the surrogate Father to the rescue for nuTrek Kirk.
Well I felt this was a believable conversation between the two men and it one where Kirk does show to Pike, he rather make a difference regardless of CMZ now rather than live in hope. Good to see Pike drive the point home of his CMO needs to know, nice to see AOS M’Benga will be on the Enterprise for a different reason than TOS M’Benga, it just be a bonus that he an expert in Vulcan biology.
Still a good write and does show that pike got a sense of humour with the betting pool jokes. I like how you’ve managde to keep traces of the great Captain he become while retaining the punkness of nuTrek Kirk.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reviews. I actually wrote this part after an STID rewatch; the dressing down scene in the movie is so amazing, not the least because Pike is right about everything. I wanted to look back at no-doubt prior run-ins they'd had, and kind of give a context for the rest of the story as it related to Pike and his effect on nuKirk's life.
Date: 25 Sep 2013 00:42 Title: Bravado
An interesting idea to add this Coda, as always I like your writing style and the prose is good but I do found it odd that Kirk would avoid his best friend Dr. McCoy to find Dr. M’Benga and seek the treatment from him, whatever the past case history, plus I would wonder how McCoy reactions what he founds out at next year medical examination. Still you’ve given Kirk a good reason to try and avoid them.
Still despite those very minor questions I think that you’ve manage to get a good impression of AOS Kirk thought progress and the reference to the unhappy memories of step-father Frank treatment, suggest I need to go back and read the earlier story.
Author's Response: Thank you! And I kind of regret not putting these into the main story up front, they make more sense with all the other chapters as a context. Ah well.
My thinking regarding McCoy v. M'Benga was basically based on a pair of premises coming together:
1. Kirk strikes me as the sort of person who won't tell anyone unless he absolutely has to, especially a friend that is a medical doctor (i.e. there's no way he can bullshit him on the details).
2. When Kirk enlisted, Starfleet would have given him an Academy doctor to report to, since it's a case Starfleet is handling, and that in turn would be one with a current Starfleet history. I ran with M'Benga having joined earlier than McCoy, since that seemed a reasonable way to go, and as a result he made the most sense. (Also I love M'Benga.)
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:58 Title: The End of Silence
Very good wrapup. The deft handling of Jim's confession, and Spock's reaction to it are particular highlights. You manage to inject a gravitas into the whole thing that makes it feel very valid and worthy. Well done.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad the various medical made-up-tech worked in terms of a read; I'm always worried it's going to make it into nonsense and a dull read, but technology is such a part of Trek it's hard to leave it out.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:54 Title: The End of Silence
Oh, nice. I am no fan if STID, but I very much like the back and forth here, between Jim and McCoy and Jim and Kevin. I do hope this is a chance to really live for the both of them
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:50 Title: The End of Silence
Short but well- played. I like the matter of fact time Jim takes about it all. It doesn't come across as flippant. More... weary.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:47 Title: The End of Silence
Wow. This is shaping up very well. It reads more cohesive than your summary claims and is refreshingly detailed and frank with the reader. I love the weaving in of original canon, the excellent use of Kevin Riley and the little bits of science and anatomy. Not my subject, either, but it reads credible to me.
Date: 31 Jul 2013 02:41 Title: The End of Silence
Tis not my chosen universe, but I really liked the tone and pacing and characterization in this first part. Kirk comes across as competent and with layers, and McCoy comes across as irritable but sensible. Good work!