Reviewer: Nerys Ghemor Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Oct 2011 23:23 Title: Where Stars Sank

What a powerful, emotionally-charged work that was fully deserving of its win at TrekBBS.

The story of this fisherman's selflessness and sacrifice was incredibly compelling and had me near tears as I was reading.  As I think of it now, I really find myself wondering how we will tell the stories, once centuries have passed, of the heroism in places like Japan when the tsunami hit. 

The concept of the modern legend is a very interesting one.  I often find myself thinking that in an era with such technology, that there is no longer any room for improvisation or for legend, but it seems that it still is, if for whatever reason an event isn't recorded by the media.  I really wonder if, as a culture, we have traded the richness of our traditions for the coldness of the camera.

It was particularly interesting to see how the story became a "local legend" wherever it was told.  I admit that part was a little surprising considering that the location could be found on a map, but that almost makes me wonder if the state had an interest in people adopting this legend to inspire them to sacrifice for less noble ends.

In my Sigils universe, this legend would have been warped beyond repair because of the sheer brutality of Tret Akleen and the lengths he went to to suppress anything Hebitian.  It's fortunate for your Cardassians that they have preserved this legend and not spat upon it.

I wonder if ever a telling of the legend closer to the truth will ever emerge on your postwar Cardassia--one where it can actually be admitted out loud that this man was Hebitian and likely a part of the typical Hebitian culture?

Author's Response:

I'm not sure the story became a "local legend." Each region of Cardassian told it a little differently, but they didn't claim that the events took place near or in that region. The differences grew, as they were being told "confined" to a region, in spite of technology, and probably with time each region claimed that its version was the closest to the truth, so none wanted to give up their version.

My Akleen wasn't as vicious as yours, so the legend survived, though I'm sure the story was being told using the word "Cardassians" and after the Dominion War the correct "Hebitians" replaced it. While there are inconsistencies in both legends, it is known and clear that they both describe the events of the Great Shift, so the people it is about had to be Hebitians--and people had to know that, even if officially they weren't allowed to admit it.

Thank you for your review :)

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 03 Oct 2011 20:43 Title: Where Stars Sank

Very nice job, Gul Rejal.  The changes you added helped considerably with the flow, pacing and emotional tension in this piece.  And it's not just a story about Cardassians - it's a story universal to all sentient beings showcasing the sacrifices we are willing to make for those we love, those we consider friends, our neighbors, or even total strangers.

I love the way you structured this piece - showing events as they really happened, and then two legends, born on the same planet but in different regions, and how different cultures interpret and pass on the story, complete with changes and embellishments that sprang up over the course of five centuries - just as we'd expect.

This was very well thought out, and very believable as to the aftermath of a terrible celestial cataclysm, and how it would affect people living on a planet within that path of destruction.  Nice work!

Author's Response:

When I was writing it, it occurred to be much easier to write the actual events than the legends. I did not expect that "deforming" the facts and in two different ways, would be so difficult, but I'm glad it worked out in the end.

Thank you again for your beta-reading, for congratulations (and congratulate yourself, too, for your good advices, which helped to make this story better :)) and for the review.