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Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jul 2015 14:52 Title: Life Lessons

It's very true - there are shades of meaning and this is why we, as writers, are well-served by reading a lot and continually editing and paying attention to word choice. You're good at this; I like to think I'm improving at it. I think it's a part of what gives away more experience versus less.

For Maren, technically 'stubborn' isn't an insult. Yet it seems to feel that way to her all the same. It's the part where her gifts are, in some ways, denigrated.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 05 Jul 2015 02:52 Title: Life Lessons

Yes. Agree with her on all points here; people call me "stubborn" far more than they call me "tenacious" and "stubborn" is often used in a negative way. Stubborness isn't a horrible thing, it has it's benefits (as Maren no doubt proves) but I get where she's coming from.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Jul 2015 18:38 Title: Life Lessons

Aww. Iden's a sweetheart (with deep pockets) and her dad turned out to be a good guy too. A fun look at our favorite Bolian and how kind she is.

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 04 Jul 2015 02:55 Title: Life Lessons

Oh, that's an excellent closing line! They sound like people I would love to know. :)

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Jul 2015 13:52 Title: Life Lessons

I see you went with a downbeat story for this prompt. Adele's pain is very real and well-realized.

I think this is where Trek in particular is fictional. A lot of the magical stuff is, too, but the nuts and bolts of distance are truly wrong. Even if you hit Einstein upside the head and blow his theory away, space is still FAR. And it seems like only VOY and ENT really got that and tried to show it at all. I recognize that the demands of weekly television don't allow for showing the reality, but even a ship traveling at 1000 times the speed of light is going to take a month or so to traverse 100 light-years, and 400 or so light-years is still on the same galactic arm that we're on. Hence her comprehension that the distance is hard to fathom? Right on target.

Difficult and haunting; Adele is hurting in a way that's very relatable.



Author's Response:

Me?  Downbeat?  Never.  (Heh.)

Voyager was definitely the best, IMO, about showing the insane distances involved with this kind of travel.  At max cruising velocity, they could travel 1000 light years in a YEAR.  Hence the 70-something year optimistic estimate for getting home.  

In Tesseract, I try to keep the distance in perspective, even though the QSD means that under certain circumstances, they can cross the galaxy in a month.  But they're not doing that every day.  The insane energy levels and computational power needed to do that means that it's good for very large jumps and emergency escapes, and not much else -- it's just not worth the resources (they're not utilizing dark matter drives just yet ;-) ), and besides, their ability to see the universe around them is limited at that effective velocity ... meaning it's hard to really "explore" at slipstream speed.  So they're at "regular" warp a lot of the time, and sometimes, they have to weigh whether the use of the QSD is worth it.

As for Adele, she's an empath who basically just lost the other half of her soul.  Yes, she's hurting, and in some ways, she always will be.

Thanks for the review!

 

 

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 02 Jul 2015 11:23 Title: Life Lessons

Truth spoken here in such few short words. You can definitely hear how thankful she is that Ken isn't a Borg, but you can hear her missing him all the same (as well she should).



Author's Response:

If he had been taken instead of killed, there's no way Adele would still be in Starfleet, except maybe on a suicide mission of vengeance.  I can't imagine the assimilation of one's Imzadi would do anything but ruin a Betazoid.  But yes, she missed him desperately ... and still does.  There's a reason she hasn't married again in all this time.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jul 2015 20:58 Title: Life Lessons

Man, Taran has a mess of a backstory much like my own Betazoid. The two definitely need to share a drink at some point in the future and exchange some tales. Striking pience, and a great look into a character that often gets forgotten about in the Tess universe.



Author's Response:

Well, she hasn't been forgotten so much as ... uh, replaced, at least in her core importance to the story.  ;-)  But yes, Taran and Felicia have more in common than their taste in human men.  :)

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jul 2015 15:30 Title: Life Lessons

This is the 'magical' Star Trek characteristic that I am least interested in having for myself. I agree with Taran, that it would be overwhelming. I think with Deanna and Lwaxana it was often played for laughs, but the reality is that all of that internal back and forth would likely drive most of us nuts.

Well done as always!



Author's Response:

I guess it's all in what you're used to, but as a writer, I can think of nothing worse than anyone being able to peek into my unfinished, unedited thoughts ... and I really don't want to know what most other people are thinking, either.  Between this and the naked weddings, Betazed is not for me.  Bring on the flattering formalwear!

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jul 2015 02:07 Title: Life Lessons

Ouch. JQ, you make a convincing case for abstinence, not because of any possible diseases, but because of all the emotional havoc physical intimacy like this entails.

A painfully true piece, one that strikes at one's heart. Well done.



Author's Response:

JQ is horrified by the idea of abstinence in general, but in this case, he agrees it would have been better to keep it in his pants.  There's a reason he usually sticks to sexually adventurous girls and telepaths ... he likes to have all the cards on the table, with no hidden agendas and/or expectations.  

Reviewer: jespah Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 30 Jun 2015 19:03 Title: Life Lessons

So she is memorable after all, although not for the so-called 'right' reasons.

JQ is my fave of the three. I just feel like his pain and his struggles are the most real. I hope that came out right. I like the others, but John strikes me as the most plausible and real, the one whose voice to me rings the truest.

This ficlet works extremely well, as his guilt, his caddishness, his faraway jealousy all conspire to make this a finely-etched portrait. Well done.



Author's Response:

Thanks, jes.  It's not surprising that anyone would find John the most relatable of my "big three," as he's the only one who's "only human."  (Yes, Maren's human, too, but she's more than that.  She's carrying a genetic legacy that skews her more in Icheb's direction than in John's.  She's not normal, and probably not all that relatable to most people.)  I think most people have had a moment like John had here, when they realize too late that their own issues have become deep enough to splash over the sides of their carefully constructed walls, potentially drenching or even drowning innocent bystanders.

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jun 2015 13:54 Title: Life Lessons

Whew. That was a lot of spitfire coming out of Atherton's mouth, but a lot of what he says isn't off base. If Icheb was genetically engineered to be that smart, that superior, he'd totally be banned (unless he pulled a Bashir and snuck by). Starfleet -- and the Federation in general -- let's things enhanced with tech get a pass (Icheb, Data) and they freak out at genetic engineering.

Atherton is an asshole, concerned only for himself (and theoretically Rachel), but he does make solid points in his soliloquy. He just doesn't bother to consider how shitty Icheb (or Seven) must feel.



Author's Response:

Atherton told me to tell you that Icheb and Seven should feel shitty.  If they'd turn the contents of their cortical arrays over to Starfleet, maybe he'd reconsider his position ever so slightly.  But as long as they're playing the "my thoughts are my own, even though they're not really all my thoughts" card, he's going to keep on hating them.  

(Shorter Atherton: "Haters gonna hate.")

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 29 Jun 2015 13:05 Title: Life Lessons

Woof, that's some major hostility - although I can see why, In the filmverse, assimilation is seen as so much worse than death that people like Hawke are just outright killed. Despite the success with Locutus, no one tries (although in all, heh, fairness, the Enterprise was outnumbered and they were desperate). 

Good capture of an angry, bitter, hostile man.



Author's Response:

Thanks.  :)  I think Locutus was an exception because he was designed from the start to be a different kind of drone, one more attractive to or compatible with humanity's independent nature.  I'm thinking that was why it was so easy for them to remove so much of his technology, although we see in FC that it's obviously not ALL gone.  But that's just fanwank on my part.  

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jun 2015 22:03 Title: Life Lessons

Oh, this is bittersweet and hard to read. But it is, ultimately, his decision to make. But it seems to be getting made as a matter of weights and measures. Looking forward to seeing how you handle the rest of the prompts.



Author's Response:

I'm hoping to hit a lot of other characters this week.  Icheb just jumped out as today's victim -- ahem, subject.  (Oh, never mind, that sounds just as bad.)  Thanks for the review!

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 28 Jun 2015 22:03 Title: Life Lessons

That was a tough one. Hate to see Icheb break all that down mathmatically, without the benefit of hope or faith -- something with Maren provides -- and come to the cold conclusion that he has to go in order to save the woman he loves from his death.

I like your take on this, but it makes me sad.

Team I/M wishes it wasn't so.



Author's Response:

Yeah, a bit depressing, but it's a theme and topic very much on my mind IRL and it fit the challenge.  Not all of them will be this dark.  (I hope ... )

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Jun 2015 19:14 Title: Year One

This was a great look at the dynamics between Rachael and Maren, as well as the events that led her to engineering and her decision process. Really enjoyed the interactions and thought processes from all parties here.

Well worth the wait. :)

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 17 Jun 2015 18:51 Title: Year One

Ah, so it wasn't immediately written in the stars that Maren would go into engineering. I do love how she just doesn't want to fail, no matter what.

Reviewer: CeJay Signed [Report This]
Date: 20 Feb 2015 10:09 Title: Year One

It's about time. No, not talking about Maren and JQ, that's a whole other disaster in the making, but Maren finally coming to realize where her true calling lies. And hey, it only took her almost burning up in Earth's atmosphere to figure it out. I actually quite enjoyed Maren not being good at things for a change. But now watch out galaxy, here comes the next great engineering genius. Are you ready for Maren O'Conner?

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 18 Feb 2015 12:54 Title: Year One

WHEW. Well, that was a near disaster for Maren and JQ (one shuttle accident away from being a cautionary tale!). You captured Maren's boredom -- and frustration -- at being the only one not cleared for flight beautifully here, as well as the desperation that slowly (then quickly) crept in for everyone when they couldn't get those controls working.

But leave it to Maren O'Connor to fix something that's broken and fix it she did. This was a nice moment of win and self-discovery for her, and I'd imagine she's going to take that deal (getting of a class I'm failing with a C? I'd take that deal in a heartbeat).

As for Icheb ... man, you got to feel for the guy. Stuck in his dorm room, away from everyone he knew from VOY and having to deal with protesters (I wonder if all those crazy admirals just were tired of the Federation being so lax with protesters?), and considering a life where things would be easier.

But his heart -- dare I say, his soul -- is set on the stars and you conveyed that sense of destiny and want well. I especially liked the Seven cameo -- always a pleasure to see her happy (even if she as frowning a bit).

Looking forward to more -- especially the part where Icheb and Maren finally meet (like, for realz) and Team I/M can begin anew!

Reviewer: Mackenzie Calhoun Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 05 Jan 2015 04:56 Title: Winter Break

Shows that blood is thicker than a good time on Risa. Risa will always be there, family won't.
Liked :)

Reviewer: FalseBill Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 04 Jan 2015 15:40 Title: Winter Break

That a nice and characterful story of Maren turning down a once in a lifetime trip to Risa to keep her family obligations.
Still I do hope you do a follow up story of what Rachel/John Risa Hiliday was like along with Maren introducing Icheb to her folks.

Top job as always.

Reviewer: Lil black dog Signed [Report This]
Date: 01 Jan 2015 20:44 Title: Winter Break

This brought back memories for me of the first Christmas I spent apart from my family at age 18, due to obligations and commitments I couldn't shirk - believe me, I tried my best to get out of them.

Glad to see that for Maren it's still a big deal to be home with family for the holidays.  After all, once she graduates and is assigned to a ship, odds are she won't be able to get home.  I think she realizes this may be one of her last chances to do so, and I'm sure it's a memory she'll come to treasure.  Well done.

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 27 Dec 2014 16:07 Title: Winter Break

Ah, how dorky and sweet and loving of Maren. Family and tradition and her faith seem to all come first. Strange in many ways and yet part of the complexity of the character. She's a homesbody in lots of ways but her gift and intellect is always going to end up sending her away from home. Home and tradition will seem to fall away in her later career but I think in honesty it is always at core with her. 

Loved the banter here between Rach, Maren and John. It's fun and light-hearted but telling too in lots of ways. It's also a sign of that strange mix of college days where those of different backgrounds and personalities do end up making friends where in the real world they might not. And neat to see the spectrum of different types of Starfleet and the Federation here - from Rach to John to Maren.

And then there's the bubbling thoughts for Icheb and the slow build towards the intriguing JQ and Icheb friendship down the line so very early in its infancy - so early in fact it isn't friendly (hee, hee).

Reviewer: M C Pehrson Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Dec 2014 21:26 Title: Winter Break

This made me want to meet Maren's shy, reserved boyfriend. A former Borg drone...

Nicely written.

 

Reviewer: trekfan Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Dec 2014 07:49 Title: Winter Break

Ah, the classic "roommate has a great place for break, let's all go there" scenario. Maren is right to refuse this -- not that it wouldn't be fun, but this type of fun is far better suited for the spring or summer. Christmas should be spent with family and Maren's got hers to go to. I bet John would spend Christmas with family, too, if his mom wasn't a mess.

 

Nice little piece here. :)

Reviewer: jespah Signed [Report This]
Date: 22 Dec 2014 05:50 Title: Winter Break

Peer pressure apparently doesn't disappear in the future. Still, I'm glad Maren's got her priorities and values straight.

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