Date: 25 May 2015 10:13 Title: The Peak
Love the descriptions of their surroundings - this is a really lovely opener. Gives you the warm and fuzzies.
Date: 17 May 2015 21:20 Title: The Peak
It is unfortunate that the 500 word count severely hampered this scene. Obviously, you had to cut something out in order to make it work but what ended up on the editing room floor really lends a different perspective to this:
Maren stood dumbfounded before Icheb, alternating between looking at him, the ring, the long view down, the gathering speactators. Oh her answer should have been immediate. It should have been yes. But Maren Siobhan O'Connor who could do quantum physics trigonometry in the blink of an eye needed a moment to process this question and her answer. Oh she had ran variables in her head before, dreams and whims but even then still with her grounded mentality, even then knowing and weighing up the pros the cons, the probabilities, the parameters of success and failure.
Perhaps a part of her always thought or even feared that Icheb who despite being a former borg drone able to love might not be able to actually propose, might not be able to commit himself to a lasting, loving relationship, to dare himself and themselves to be happy.
Oh maybe she could imagine Icheb proposing but only because of custom and expectation and going through the motions of the social experiment of their relationship. Yet here was the validation that there relationship was real and so much more. His eyes were borg nano enhanced but they held nothing but love in them for Maren. It was all too unbearably romantic and loving and hard and painful and suffocating.
The crowd shifted uncomfortably. The proposal was not being met with an answer and even Icheb now began to fear what her answer was. A silence fell upon the peak. Nothing stirred but the wind in Maren's hair and then ... and then there was a yodel from some distance below.
Maren turned to its direction. it couldn't be! Could it? "Yodel fucking a ydel yay hoo!" came the answer to the affirmative. John Quigley!
She shouted towards him. "JQ? John!" Her heart fluttered, broke, recoalesced and in one moment. Icheb's fractured like a warp core breach. Climbing the steep incline was JQ and sporting his Lederhosen just for the occasion.
"Maren!" he shouted.
Icheb balled his hand into a fist as he snatched it and the ring back from Maren's reach. Under his breath he cursed JQ and himself. "JQ!" Why had he told him? Why had he poured out his heart and intentions to the one man who could love Maren in the same way he did. Damn it all.
"I'm sorry Icheb ... I ... I .... I can't." With that Maren turned and ran towards JQ. Her mind and her heart finally and at long last made. She ran towards him not caring for the rocks that might trip her. Not caring for the ice and snow. Only caring to reach John's arms.
Icheb wanted to cry but his enhanced eyes would not permit him. Instead, he crushed the ring in the palm of his hand and then, nano enhanced vocal cords lifted the mountain top as Icheb roared, "QUIGLEY!"
The mountian shook. All stopped to stare in awe and terror at Icheb. Borg accrutements sprouted from his cheek as he allowed his borg drone self to reassert. But it was already too late. The mountain shake had already put in motion a calamity of horrors as the rocks tumbled downward towards John. Quigley deftly avoided the hurtling rocks but he looked up in horror as Maren stood transfixed in terror looking back at the monster she had unleashed in Icheb. Maren gave aquick look back to John and reached out a hand that would never span the great distance between them but saaid everything of their doomed love.
And then the snows under her feet gave way and rushed down the mountain side. their love swallowed by a torrent of rage and a mountainside avalanche.
There. Fixed it for you. We return things to (hyper) normal proceedings.
Awww. But seriously. They did it. They climbed the mountain, the tortuous path, overcame the obstacles along the way and made it to a happy ending. Well maybe not an ending. But happy. And lovely. And ... well ... we don't know if she says yes!
Author's Response:
OMG. This is a masterpiece, Kev. Deserving of an award all its own. At a minimum, I'm definitely appointing you admiral of the J/M shippers' fleet.
(As an aside, I have not been able to get JQ's fucking yodeling out of my head since I read this. And he's dancing around in Lederhosen. I may wind up in the psych ward soon, and it's all your fault! (Well, maybe not ALLLL your fault ...))
On a more serious note, you are the only one who mentioned the parallel between Galartha and their relationship, and you nailed it - absolutely the shifting rocky landscape and their determination to make it to the top is a perfect metaphor for their complicated lives and their commitment to one another. Thanks for picking up on that. :)
Date: 17 May 2015 15:51 Title: The Peak
*sniffs* Team I/M is having difficulty putting this into words. But imagine cute kittens crying and you're in the ballpark. The title is perfect. The scene is perfect. Icheb is right.
Team I/M wants there to be babies sometime soon. Iden wants it, too.
That is all.
Author's Response:
Oh, no! I made the cute kittens cry? That's sort of awful, really, and not at all what I was going for! But YOU seem happy, at least, so that's something. :)
And babies?! They're babies themselves! They've just barely gotten engaged and you're pushing for babies? Gosh. No pressure or anything, Icheb and Maren. ;-)
As for Iden, she doesn't even know them yet. Patience, grasshopper!
(I'm glad you're excited. Really. This review made me smile.)
![Liked](images/like.gif)
Date: 17 May 2015 13:25 Title: The Peak
Yay! Icheb and Maren for the win. Can't wait to see what changes you are going to throw our way and tragedy is overrated - bring on the happy! As usual, top notch descriptions, amazing all that you manage to fit into one of these tiny ficlets. Bring on the rest!
Author's Response:
Thanks, Joel! It's fun to give these two a little break from all the hell I've been putting them through the last six (!) years. As I said to Steff, I hope the sweetness doesn't induce diabetes. Consider yourselves warned ... no suing me for medical bills!
Date: 17 May 2015 12:48 Title: The Peak
Oh! /claps hands/
Yay for happy stuff! W00t!
Author's Response:
:-D
Date: 17 May 2015 08:22 Title: The Peak
Ah, Icheb you romantic fool, you cheesy yet also classic wordsmith of love, you .... wait, what? Oh this is an AU. Of course. That makes sense then. Well, will she or won't she? Me things she will, in this universe, anything's possible even *gasp* happiness.
Author's Response:
Haha. Yes, it takes an AU for things to go right for them once in a while. Pretty sad statement!
Date: 17 May 2015 05:49 Title: The Peak
Oh, my heart. Wow, you weren't kidding about the happy. I love the scenery work you did here, and of course, the mental image of Icheb proposing to her up there is just-- gorgeous. What a lovely kickoff!
Author's Response:
Thanks, Steff! I hope I don't give everyone diabetes with all the sweetness this week.