Date: 02 Sep 2014 23:27 Title: Chapter 7 - A Picture of Fenway
Hmm well that was clearly a baseball theme but I suspect that Mack was sticking to her area of sport knowledge for her first day.
For someone with little knowledge of Baseball it at time seemed a tad jargon heavy, but nothing that ruined the moment of the story.
I think the single question at the end of training is a clever way to get characters to open up and talk and reveal more of the candidate inner side and personality.
Still you got the pacing generally write and you managed to put another variation into the question answers to keep it interesting,
Do wonder if Marty needs to be this regular at this stage but it makes sense to have Mack talk to him for now.
Author's Response:
Well, he's the only family she's got. She's still got to get over having been incarcerated. And thanks re the jargon. I'm trying to make it accessible.