Date: 03 Aug 2014 16:03 Title: Chapter 5 - Assemblage Begins
The, just don't come on to me line, was hilarious. Of course innocent little Crita doesn't get it.
I'm not a huge Wesley fan but you really made him a little more clueless than I think he deserves, especially since he's all grown now.
And see what people get from opening their mouths? From Mack to Madden to Picard to Nechayev and straight to S31. Now that's trouble I'm sure Mack doesn't need.
Author's Response:
Yeah, Crita is just a babe in the woods. Sleeping alone is scary for someone who's used to a pack (and the convent).
Wesley will get better; he just got back from being with the Traveler. He's been out of the loop nearly as long as Mack has.
And, yeah, too much plot! Too many people. This is, I know, an issue with this storyline. But someone's gonna want that diffuser.
Date: 03 Aug 2014 13:11 Title: Chapter 5 - Assemblage Begins
So Crita got a shook from surprising Mack good thing Mack doesn't sleep with a weapon and then the experience of sleeping off the floor, I do wonder how Crita will grow on this voyage.
Interesting scene with Mack and Picard and the Crushers discussion the diffuser, clearly breaks the spirit of the treaty, so I expect we can see a Romulan and S31 agent on the Cookie before to long. Seeming Mack life is going to be very interesting before we get to any sports.
Good Job.
Author's Response:
Thanks! This is the issue with the story. Dense with plot! And yeah, it was an expository breakfast. With croissants.
Yeah, Crita's very doggy, so she's used to sleeping in a pack. Sleeping alone is scary for our little innocent girl.