Date: 14 Jun 2014 03:07 Title: Chapter 3
That was a tough read - the prose was beautiful, as ever, but bearing witness to Carlisle's final minutes, feeling his sorrow and agony as he saw the ship (and his personnel) being battered around him. Starting to wonder if that girder was really a blessing, or a curse...
Loved the connection here to your own universe, and OC's, just wish it was under better circumstances. Something tells me this isn't gonna end well, unless you're rooting for the Dominion.
Date: 11 Jun 2014 00:52 Title: Chapter 3
Neat visualisation of the destruction nailing the carnage and brutal swift nature of the brute attack and it clearly demonstrates how hard tasking the Dominion forces are in this instance. I also like the shout outs to your regular verse but even apart from that, the time taken for a character to wish goodbye on their dying breath is a great way to add meaninglful impact to the events. So it ends up more than kewl 'plosions. Instead, this is life being ripped apart and away. Meantime, it is clear that the fate of Andoria is very, very precarious indeed.
Date: 08 Jun 2014 12:23 Title: Chapter 3
oh my...
Good chapter again.
Date: 07 Jun 2014 20:05 Title: Chapter 3
Ah, I knew there had to be a connection to Jessica, given the last name.
Author's Response: Yup, Carlisle is her Grandfather.
Date: 06 Jun 2014 14:51 Title: Chapter 3
Oh, man, what a horrible ringside seat to the devastation. And he's right, although it's a small comfort. Carlisle may yet see his end, and the options are none too pleasant ones.
Loved the connection to your regular characters. Do him proud, Jason. And I have to assume that this is another Jess he is referring to? So the orphan's name is even more meaningful.
Author's Response: Yup, a different Jess. I mentioned it in the story "Grown" that Jason named the blue alien orphan after his mother (Rachael) and sister (Jessica) who were both killed at the Battle of Sector 001 (Star Trek: First Contact).
Date: 06 Jun 2014 09:43 Title: Chapter 3
Ok, that was intense. The Carlisle scene especially was a real heart-breaker - you did an absolutely amazing job describing not only his emotional state but also the physical scene: I could picture this guy in his ruined sickbay, the hole into space ripped into the wall... Fantastic job. I know this isn't going to end well, but how badly exactly is it going to go... Can't wait to see how this ends!
Author's Response: Thank you