Date: 14 Jun 2014 02:56 Title: Chapter 2
Nice segue from the previous chapter to this one - diplomats arguing about the problem and Starfleet personnel now in the thick of it.
I like how things started slow and relaxed - gave us the chance to meet some very interesting characters - and all of a sudden all hell breaks loose.
Peter Dinklage immediately came to mind for me as well for the character of Bronislaw.
Date: 11 Jun 2014 00:40 Title: Chapter 2
Here you are, setting up a nice little scene on a bridge, getting us cosy with the crew, the promise of some character introduction, interactions and development and then - KICK - straight in with the action and the dire straits from the very off.
It's different for sure to take such an approach and is illustrative of how much of a surprise ambush this attack is on the Angels. One of course, would hope for future character interaction and development but sometimes, yes, the story requires for the action to be big, bold and ugly.
Especially, given the character of Bronsilaw who screams potential. One hopes for his survival but of course in a story titles the Fall - Demons of Andoria, I ain't holding my breath. Especially, as the name also comes under the Angels of Andoria which I know in your own universe met a very sad and tragic end. I picture a similar fate here. Which is actually a neat connection. And of course, the angel word play on Demons is terrific too.
Author's Response: I'm glad you noticed the name from the WFW...And yeah, it really sucks. I never really thought much of Bronislaw (he dies...rather quickly in the Angels story) so I never bothered to really flesh the character out. He really was a lot of fun to write. *shrug* Since the story doesn't exist yet, it's certainly not too late for a retcon, right? :)
Date: 08 Jun 2014 12:21 Title: Chapter 2
so here comes the Hammer, nice built up, showing that they is still a lack of realisation in Starfleet.
Got to agree with the Doctor, casualties are a sure thing.
Date: 07 Jun 2014 20:03 Title: Chapter 2
And the battle begins. Great dialogue work in this piece so far. I like it.
Date: 06 Jun 2014 09:39 Title: Chapter 2
Man, what a great chapter. Again, really loved the nods back to the timeline, but you have done a fantastic job of creating some truly compelling original characters to inhabit this era, as well as setting them up for some major dramatic action to come. Loved the character Bronislaw! Great job, TS!
Date: 05 Jun 2014 14:48 Title: Chapter 2
Oh, yay! Carlisle's gotta be related to Jason and Jessiy! And I love how he kind of missteps a little there (e. g. which one is Hawkeye). I see Peter Dinklage as Bronislaw - angry and war-weary but also incredibly competent.
Ready for more, please. :)
Author's Response: Yup! The relation should be revealed next chapter...I promise it doesn't really play a LARGE part. Much of this story I'm using notes from my own Andoria story (as in the ships that were present) so there was going to be at least a few characters that would crossover. As for Peter Dinklage - you are right on the money. He absolutely is who I pictured as "Too Tall." Not necessarily angry - he's supposed to be a very laid back guy - but definitely war-weary in this timeline. Glad you pictured him too!!