[Report This]Date: 08 Sep 2020 16:57 Title: Day One: Farewell, My Lovely: IV
"250,000 kilometers," said Milestone. - the pun may have been unintentional but amusing nonetheless.
Yeah - taking down internal sensors is definitely going to lead to some issues. And something it totally up when you lose time sleeping.
Nice introduction of a few creepy elements that will bear fruit later. I also enjoyed the visual descriptions of the nebula and particularly the crisp description of Rosenthal. I can picutre him very clearly - which is part of the enjoyment of meeting these sorts of characters.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Another lucky accident here. I bet I never even noticed the pun until now.
Date: 18 Mar 2014 02:08 Title: Day One: Farewell, My Lovely: IV
Uh oh. Now there's a nice little teaser cliffhanger. What happened to Owens? And of course, no internal sensors to tell them either. How very conveinent. You've set the stage for a murder mystery all right CeJay. The bridge has been washed out and the guests are trapped for the night in the manor house. Next will come the discovery of the body.
Really liking the set up here for the murder mystery. However, none of that is to the cost of the characters and their unfolding story. Star and Owens trust issues are bound to become more prominent in the face of a murder mystery and suspicions flying around when the time comes. This going to prove very interesting. It would haave been interesting whatever the mission but in this set up it is only going to add fuel to the fire.
Date: 16 Nov 2013 17:04 Title: Day One: Farewell, My Lovely: IV
Loved the bridge dynamics at play here. You've got the voices and roles down pat, from the Vulcan science officer to the XO. Really enjoyed seeing them go at it and reflect on the fact that, yes, Starfleet hasn't had many exploratory missions during the war and didn't really have many after either. The entering of the nebula and the description of it by itself was good. I like red, so I'm all for something Crimson.
Seeing Owens reflect on the thing with Donner was also nice as I'd totally be doing the same thing. My question is did he lose sleep doing it (unintentionally) or did the nebula make it so? And the internal sensors being down also worries me ... seems like a good time to do something bad to the ship.
Looking forward to more.
Author's Response: Always good to have a bit of banter on the bridge, I say. As for what Owens' missing night. That may be a question that'll be answered in the course of this tale. Glad your enjoying it so far.