[Report This]Date: 17 Jul 2020 15:23 Title: Part 4
Okay - this chapter was just a seriously fun romp. Always nice to have the Jim Kirk effect - "There are five of us...." "So go get some more guys and it will be an even fight..."
Super brawl description - to the point, but with enough graphic detail to make it cinematic.
Thanks!! rbs
Author's Response: Thanks for the compliment. I actually don't much care for fight scenes. Don't get me wrong, they are awesome in the filmed medium but I always felt they are a bit tedious to write (and sometimes to read). But then again, it's hard to write an adventure story with not at least a bit of fisticuffs action.
Date: 16 Jul 2013 04:15 Title: Part 4
This has taken a turn for the fascinating! I love how it descended into the nightmare of any cop (or security guy): He said/he said. I'd like to note a few writing issues, though, if I may: I think you mean wary, above, not weary. There were also some minor misspellings and missed words: The Bolian had no sympahty to offer. “What did you do the phaser rifles, Tigus?†Which should be: The Bolian had no sympathy to offer. “What did you do with the phaser rifles, Tigus?â€
There are a couple more. But otherwise, another great chapter of what's shaping up to be a very entertaining story. Horowitz and Zolwut do remind me of cops, some (a field I have ample experience with), and that makes it all the more fun to read.
Date: 02 Jun 2013 16:23 Title: Part 4
Bolian buoyancy, my friend! Hee hee. I also like the many other little touches or irreverence and humour throughout this. Building on a very interesting buddy system between Val and Zolwat. And as predicted, Zolwat's faith in their helper turned out to be a bad idea and they almost walked into a neat little early ending. Instead, their training kicked in and they tackled the thugs easily. Nice to see Starfleet fighting skills having an impact and seeing trained guys being able to take down a large group of lesser trained ones.
Without this lead though where will they go to track the rifles? All this remains to be seen. A very ahrd mission to be sure to carry out.