Date: 08 Nov 2014 03:52 Title: Chapter One
Nice scene setting here, and character establishment for those of us who aren't intimately familiar with all of these folks. Found myself having to read sections several times to get it all straight in my head, but think I have it all sorted now.
You captured the essence of the memorial service very well, delight at seeing old comrades rapidly morphing into sorrow based on the somber reason for the gathering.
Oddly, I found it was the interplay between Kircheis and her XO in the beginning that was the most intriguing. Obviously two very different people in the way they approach life, but the affection and loyalty were there, one just had to read between the lines to see it.
Date: 07 Nov 2014 23:41 Title: Chapter One
Funerals have this odd knack of bringing out both the best and the worst of people and situations. There's the pain of mourning, the joy of reunions, and above all, the gossip that lies behind even the most well-behaved facades. I think you've captured all of those emotions extremely well here. There is obviously a ton of subtext and oblique reference contained within this chapter and I can't wait to see where it all goes.
Date: 03 Dec 2012 03:13 Title: Chapter One
A heart-rending scene as Leone falls apart publically in the depth of her grief. It was so well written, I felt myself misting up, too.
What would, under different circumstances, have been a wonderful reunion between old comrades is in instead a mournful occasion.
Date: 01 Sep 2012 15:23 Title: Chapter One
The other question to ask is; was Pava ever alright to begin with? Oh well, that's a question for somebody else to solve.
A sad but poignant memorial service. As expected the death of Ariel is hitting Leone especially hard. For all her toughness and professionalism, this is not something she can handle easily.
I like the dynamic between Kircheis and her XO, by the way. She may not be particularly street smart but her loyalty is impressive.