Date: 04 Jun 2013 20:49 Title: Chapter 4
The Kent State shooting being rather close to home, it should be interesting to see how these people fool around there. o.O I like Levi, but then, I tend to like geniuses with issues. So far, anyway. The encryption might just be fascinating. I don't know how I feel, as a 21st century girl, about them knocking my era. XD Even though every point is on the money. Though their own apparently has its share of issues, too. Which is, frankly, refreshing to see.
Author's Response:
My idea of the deep future, in order to keep it from being deus ex machina 24/7, is for everybody to be really, really screwed up. Royally. Levi is just one of the riders in the clown car. ;)
Date: 02 Jun 2013 05:38 Title: Chapter 4
Well, what happened to Rick’s other ship? Besides getting stolen and rough upped for years on end by Daniels himself, it seems that something went down on that trip to Iowa circa 1959. Daniels has a history (PUN) of bedding women in different time periods, but this doesn’t seem like that. Those other events that he alluded to in the previous chapters were in the past as well (PUN) and he copped up to them, at least in narration. But he glazed over the fact here and seems extra worried that something is bound to go wrong with the timeship.
Does he know something others don’t? Can he be part of his own paradox?
The big part of this chapter was the introduction to Levi, which I instantly like as a character. I mean, his dad’s a mean SOB who wanted to make him a carbon copy of himself (Boooo. Especially being named Zach, shame on you, sir) but Levi is interesting to me. He has a number of disorders and, some may even say, disabilities working against him but he has to be quite good at his job. Otherwise, why would the temporal Integrity commission keep him around?
I’m glad he doesn’t care what his old man thinks and is confident enough in himself not to feel like a failure. That’s a common thing for kids left like he was and it’s good to see him not give in to that.
Author's Response:
Yep, things happened in Clear Lake - Rick saw something/someone.
Levi is ... he was originally going to be a wholly unsympathetic character. But I decided I liked him, so I wanted to support him. He never looks like he's paying attention (and he often isn't), but when he is, watch out.
Date: 30 May 2013 12:04 Title: Chapter 4
So we have some weird characters here, and I'm figuring they would be more familiar if I had read the first story of the HG Wells series, I am wondering though if this story suffers from too many characters to the point were some of them lose focus to the reader's mind.
But I'll give you credit for one thing though; this is a strange story with some weird characters in a very weird universe!
Author's Response:
I try to write stories so that they can more or less stand alone - but if you do want to look back, the story is A Long, Long Time Ago.