Date: 04 Jun 2013 20:27 Title: Chapter 1
Well, that is definitely an intriguing start. I really like the 'local color' you threw in -- the nature of the diner, the easy and casual way that Richard's parents love one another and show it all the time. I'll probably be slow in reading this, but I like what I'm seeing so far.
Author's Response:
Oh! Thank you!
This is actually #2 in the series ....
Date: 02 Jun 2013 07:01 Title: Chapter 1
Time travel stories, like you said, they tend to be problematic. And they can be one big, fat, reset button at the end. What I have attempted to do with these stories is to give the characters some continuity and changes, and make it so that, in the end, something really did happen after all.
Don't get me wrong this was a good story but time travel stories which really work are few and far between. But this story was unique and it did have a unique feel to it so I think you do have a great set of characters here and they do feel distinctive and this story definitely has a vibe about it.
The politics and the world war three references were really good so you did a great job exploring 21st century Earth's history and you really captured that sense of desperation and utter hopelessness. So well done!
Date: 02 Jun 2013 05:08 Title: Chapter 1
Well, after reeding (HAHA) Fortune, I wanted to jump and ahead and see what’s going on with Richard Malcolm Daniels. He took some leave time for some reason (perhaps mentioned in a previous story or later, I’ll find out) and is tuck at his parents house. Listening to them screw each other early and often. It seems the Reed part of the family still is going strong in that respect and poor Richard is kinda heartbent. He must have had to do something pretty hard the last time he went to work, fixing whatever it was he was supposed to fix.
Whatever the case may be he’s not getting any action now but he does have to go scout out a new recruit. His meeting with Bernstein, in a 2300s retro diner, was well played. I liked the interplay between the two in the few moments we had of them in a light mood before Bernstein started asking the hows and whys of the job. This is all new to her (and mostly to me) so I was happy to listen to Daniels explain some things. The self-healing thing is damned cool, I forget what it’s called (you told me before) but it’s pretty sweet tech. Her surprise was expected, but the last line about needing a new knife, that was a nice cherry on top.
Author's Response:
Oh, I thank you!
I felt it was an easier way to put forth exposition, and get the reader into the story.
Date: 30 May 2013 11:24 Title: Chapter 1
So Daniels here is a temporal agent, an augment (I never realised that when I watched the first two-thirds of ENT) and in his off-duty time wishes he got some action! I like his parents though, they go fer it like rabbits!