Date: 24 Dec 2013 19:43 Title: Chapter 9
Now that’s a cliffhanger, who the mole? Where are they and why do they want to stop the Pearl from getting to New Haven?
Still it was good to see Hank stand his ground when he need to, plus nice to see that the Pearl pass her first real battle with minimal damage and loss of life.
Still I think I realize before Hank that it wasn’t a simulation, which I think is credit to your writing style and clever hints. Still you did a good job with the writing the fight/battle scene between the two-ship s and that did add to the realism.
Nice to see inter-ship bickering affecting the Cardassian Gul’s as well as the federation officers.
Still typical Romulans any excuse to throw spanner in the works.
Date: 02 Dec 2013 06:33 Title: Chapter 9
I've paused here for now, but...wow. Awesome, bud. I am enjoying this story very much, and it's shaping up to be a great introduction to this series. I've got a limited experience with Bethany and Hank, so seeing them here at the start of this story is awesome.
I really did get the same feeling that the Pearl is shaping up to be the island of misfit toys. Everyone has some chip on their shoulder, some skeleton in their closet. So many Treks look to gradually showcase those failings and fears as series go forward, but you do this in a unique way to show that everyone - including Bethany - is human. But it also makes the revelation in THIS chapter that much more unsettling. It reminds me of an NCIS episode, where they were hunting for a mole in NCIS. I won't give away everything, but the team that winds up being brought together is similar in that they were all misfits, all had their quirks...and they were all at the top of the list of being traitors. It has to be unnerving for Hank, especially when he already doesn't feel up to the task of being captain of this new ship and crew, and when he picked most of these people.
And hooray for Bethany. I loved seeing their reunion, and the descriptions of her definitely went beyond what I had imagined working with you/her in the RR earlier this year.
I'm really enjoying this story so far! This is fun!
Date: 28 May 2013 11:02 Title: Chapter 9
Now things are going down! And Hank... Got caught with his pants down that's what! And I understand so well Hank's feeling after the battle; he messed up but luck helped to cover up his mistake and his inexperience. Hank's feeling is one of; how did I get away with that and not be reprimanded?
I've had that feeling several times in my life, so I can really emphasise with Hank here. Finally, just to raise the stakes I see, you threw in a mole!
[Report This]Date: 21 May 2011 12:49 Title: Chapter 9
Yay! One of my favourite Cardassians! :D Shame that just for such a short moment.
If Maxwell is really responsible for this massacre (I can't find another word for slaughtering so many people) and the Enterprise sabotage--then he has really gone insane.
Still, it's possible that it's not his doing. Or not only his doing.
The nameless Gul Aggressive also adds more questions...Seemed like it's not only Starfleet's speciality to have two ship commanders "disagree," to put it mildly.
Date: 30 Jul 2010 04:41 Title: Chapter 9
Wow, that was an exciting chapter! Hank gets thrown into the fire along with his crew, and thanks to some unexpected help, he pulls through all right. Nice to see Nvrell, and the convo between Hank and the Admiral was very well done.
Date: 19 May 2009 04:31 Title: Chapter 9
OUCH! I think I'm starting to see why you said Hank has been playing the "Captain in Distress" role a lot--I mean, thinking that was a simulation? That had to be embarrassing, if anybody else realized it.
I did like the way you showed the Cardassians here, taking time to show their differences as individuals. Nvrell seems--at least to me--like he could be a good guy. That you let him actually show his regret over the incident (and what also reads like his pain regarding the general situation of his people) really made him ring true to me. :-)
Author's Response:
You know, I never got to play with Nvrell as much as I originally planned. But I am glad the resident Cardassian expert finds my small Cardassian character a good guy. Much obligied and thanks for taking the time to read!
Date: 23 Apr 2009 22:50 Title: Chapter 9
Oh that was a near pickle. And just as well it worked out ok because I'd have hated to be Hank trying to explain heavy losses opening his statement with 'I thought it was a simulation'.
The political tensions have ramped up and the dire reality of the situation is beginning to dawn on all concerned. But more questions now lie before us.
Date: 01 Apr 2009 17:13 Title: Chapter 9
I like the way that poor Hank had to come to grips with the fact that this wasn't a scenario, but the real deal. I mean, I knew it pretty much instantly, but it was still neat how he ended up getting smacked across the chops with it. Also liked the battle, which was well-paced, and Harrison getting all fired up on Jennings later. Good stuff!