Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 10 Jun 2014 00:24 Title: Chapter 1

Hee, hee. Queen for a day? Try being an empress maybe Hoshi. You begin by setting a scene that feels very in the ilk of ENT. It's down to earth and communal. I think was something they pushed on the show some but limited the activities to be fitting to the era and time. And given the technology and limited size of the ship, it's natural that the focus would be on socialisation and such gatherings. And poor Malcolm. He really did give in to peer pressure. PS I love that you word it so:

"Yes, I suppose you're right,” Malcolm allowed, “I suppose I succumbed to a spot of peer pressure."

Very fitting and down on the accent. A spot in particular. Nicely done.

Oh and what a fitting title for this teaser. Whether the rest of the story circles around Reed's intolerance or not, we will have to see, but from the off I like that little touch.

Author's Response:

Aw, thank you - and intolerance has several meanings here.

I really hear Reed well (I also hear Hayes well), hence the spot, etc. Plus of course how could he ever admit to anyone that he occasionally breaks wind? Horrors!