Date: 19 Jun 2013 21:28 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
The interweaving of Black Sabbath is very affecting here, and Beth's distress is believable, as is Deanna's offense. For Deanna, it is as if her own, personal existence is in question. What mother wouldn't be hurt by such a thing?
And then there's Cassidy, the obvious black sheep of the family.
Date: 11 Oct 2011 13:31 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
A good doze of reality here. Here we have a loving family, which seems almost perfect, but it turns out that--like many others--they had their ups and downs, little secrets and problems. Not too much to destroy them, but enough to give them a bit bumpy past and some interesting memories.
A very good peek into the Rikers past.
Author's Response: This is the first time readers are relieved of worrying about whether Beth is a Mary Sue. She is not. Far from it as a matter of fact. She's an obsessive-compulsive, stubborn, judgmental person. She is especially hard on herself most of all. She is self-confident to a fault - as you will see as the book progresses. :) Thanks so much for reading this. It's been fun to go through it again with you!
Date: 16 Nov 2009 20:23 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
A powerful and emotive revelation on Beth's part - especially to her Mom and if keeping command of the Enterprise secret was shocking keeping this secret since adolescence is even more so. Deanna appears to be vcery understanding of this initially, but I wonder how does she feel upon reflection. Angry that Beth has lied to her about this, even if it explains why she has pushed her culture away. I'd imagine Beth's admission has to be very hurtful to Deanna and maybe especially so in light of Cassidy's status.
Nice to see the parental reflections at the start and terrific to see how finely tuned the Troi/Rikers are to each other. They argue and resolve their issues within one broef conversation. I guess years of marriage helps to make that workable and being each other's Imzadi.
Again, the family tone comes through very strongly. And for the supportive family she has, Beth has also quite a few issues to contend with. I guess I should admire her all the more for reaching her rank - it also makes me slightly wary that she culd be a potential danger at times depending upon circumstances. I guess she'll have to find a way to remove the counsellor. Might I suggest my Captain McGregor's tactic of selling his counsellor to the Orion Ring - of course it was purely part of campaign to capture the pirates - he just didn't let on to the counsellor about such a pertinent piece of information. I'd say Beth could probably be tempted. Her temper does seem like she is someone I'd hate to cross.
Author's Response: Beth's decision to keep her condition a secret is only partially related to Cassidy's condition. It's mostly due to being burned by her brother when she was a teen and being victimized by an invasion of privacy - she actually becomes hypersensitive about the issue...much to her chagrin I believe. You'll see. :)
Date: 17 Sep 2009 15:49 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
Another great chapter, providing another layer to Beth's character. I'm looking forward to seeing how this develops
[Report This]Date: 14 May 2009 19:10 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
A lot of back-story in this chapter but it turns out it's all incredibly relevant.
Beth's revelation is world shaking for her parents. She's basically been hiding a serious disability from them for all her life.
It be interesting to see how she manages to perform her duties as a starship captain with such a potentially distracting handicap.
Also interesting, as far as I can remember Deanna wasn't much for telepathic communications herself when she was on the Enterprise-D. Clearly that has changed.
Author's Response: Deanna has empathic children. I think I mention that Deanna recalled being put off by Lwaxana's own preference to speak telepathically so Deanna's much more patient...she's also much older. The episode "Menage a Troi" is one where I base Deanna's increased comfort level with her own Betazoid skills...she saw Beth's rejection of those abilities as more than just being annoyed - she saw them as a rejection of her own heritage...something Deanna herself had to overcome really. Not the least of which...Cassidy was born without the ability - so for Beth to reject them was difficult for Deanna. Bill however - he has no issues with it. At all. :)
You will see that there is an AWFUL LOT of backstory in this book...but it's also serving as the jumping off point for three more books - hence the need for the detail and the history. I can't thank you enough for reading!
Date: 01 Apr 2009 16:27 Title: Chapter One - Part Four
Copied from the Omega Sector:
That's a pretty good start to the whole tale! The characters are interesting; the political systems in place are very interesting. I enjoyed the descriptions of the Shentarians for selfish reasons, but so far it looks like a good start to a long tale. Glad you posted it like this!
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The pacing is much better in this section. It moves more quickly. Beth is still likable; she veers a little towards Mary Sue territory on occasion, but her personality usually yanks her back on track. Particularly in this last part where she's confronting her mother about the difficulties that come with her empathic abilities. (That's not meant as an insult! She has two exceptional parents and is bound to be ahead of the curve given her upbringing; unless she turns into Marissa, she'll be fine, I would just like to see a bit more of her weaknesses to balance out her talents.)
I think the biggest thing I would love to see you explore with Beth (and you may, I haven't finished reading yet) is the sheer weight of command. Even a veteran, even someone with experience, her age is still one where she's bound to have some insecurities lurking in her about whether she is actually ready for this level of responsibility. Even the most exceptional people are still people -- I'm twenty-eight, a mother, a wife, worked my whole life, faced things most people never do (at least once involving a gun) and even with a decent level of self-confidence and experience, I struggle with some insecurities. I can't fathom what it would be like to be ultimately responsible for a starship, and all those people, without having those moments where I genuinely question my readiness. Even if it was my dream.
I know, I'm rambling.
But it is a good story, and well-recommended. The writing style's clean, and once the pacing picks up here in this parts, it reads fast and comfortably. I like how you've developed Will and Deanna and how you've characterized them here. I really adore the way that Beth and Bill had it out in their youth and raged, then become so close -- that's a lovely thing.