Date: 19 Jun 2013 20:48 Title: Chapter One - Part One
For Beth, who has the weight of tradition and family and expectations on her shoulders, her education could not have been at all easy. So many damned expectations! It makes sense that a Klingon would notice that, and would notice the way she had handled herself.
The original aliens are interesting. You had to convey a lot of information in this section, and I think it was gotten across just fine.
Date: 10 Oct 2011 08:49 Title: Chapter One - Part One
I can see that the Enterprise has very Titan-like crew. Good, because I always found the diversity of that crew fascinating. Such a mix creates a lot of opportunities for character development, cultural discoveries and...conflicts.
I like the part about K'Reeg; I think you conveyed Klingon way of thinking well. He pays attention to things a Klingon would, but a human--or other species--wouldn't. He has different priorities and different goals. Very Klingon.
And finally the background is explained and the recent history presented: both the history of Beth and the Federation. I still don't know why the Enterprise goes to Ba'ku, but I know why the Federation is at war and with whom.
Date: 15 Sep 2009 15:49 Title: Chapter One - Part One
Hmmm... An interesting future you have created here, with an original antagonist - I don't think we've had a race of crustaceans in Star Trek before. The only niggle I have is that a lot of the information was provided in a bit of an info dump, I'd have liked to have it dished out over more time, but that's just me. I'm loving this! :)
Author's Response: Hi Captain! Thanks so much for reading it. My OWN biggest complaint about this book was its "initial info dump" characteristics. It's a big book that I might have done a little differently now that I'm more comfortable with my own characters; but I think, and I have been told, that the road you walk down with Beth (You, like Picard, call her Elizabeth) is worth it. Again - I am thrilled you are enjoying the tale, it's a big'un to be sure. :) OH! BTW - I love the feedback! It was comments like this that helped me improve greatly with my other works!
[Report This]Date: 11 May 2009 11:13 Title: Chapter One - Part One
Just started to read this and I like it quite a bit so far.
Usually I'm not much for 'future' story-lines but the writing here is so crisp and the characters so interesting that this has drawn me right in.
You've clearly created quite a detailed history of your new future complete with dangerous new enemies and a much more diverse Federation.
I especially like Beth so far. And the other crew members also sound quite interesting with plenty of potential for conflict.
Looking forward to explore more of this bold new future.
Author's Response: Cejay! Thanks so much. This is a HUGE project...I promise you it's worth taking your time with. :)
Date: 09 May 2009 14:12 Title: Chapter One - Part One
Great introduction to the Enterprise crew and its captain. Beth seems to be a conflicted character, warring between two different extremes. An explorer on the one hand but a skilled warrior on the other. Again we see Picard's influences and it seems only too right that the children of Riker and Troi would indeed have a healthy dose of respect for the man. Neat touch with the Number One tag too.
It appears we are indeed in for a treat with a rich and diverse crew. This too is to be expected set in the further future as it is. But Klingons working side by side with Romulans and with Cardassians too mentioned. This should make for some interesting personal dramas.
No wonder Beth has need for an XO like Dryden. I like how she sees the qualities in him that she feels she needs to balance her own flaws. Quite enlightened and very smart of Beth.
Then there's K-reeg! With her father and Picard as influences hardly surprising that she chose a Klingon as her security guy. His respect for Beth is intriguing as is his view of her as a warrior. Something that Beth probably doesn't rest with easily at the smae time.
Also a very interesting political backdrop being painted. i wonder where this is headed. Very good.
Author's Response: Beth was raised by two diplomats that knew how to fight. She ended up needing to fight before she honed her diplomatic skills. She's not an idiot, she's just brusque and her patience wore thin during the war she's been fighting. Dryden is the opposite to her, more like her parents...I see Beth and Paul as being the flip-side of Riker and Jean-Luc Picard. The one thing that I really love about Beth is that she took everything she learned as a child and uses it to her advantage. Her loved ones imparted an enormous amount of wisdom to her and she uses it, MOST of the time to great effect.