Date: 30 May 2013 22:57 Title: Chapter 12
After the emotional and psychological trainwreck of the last chapter, you manage to do the same thing again! I'm impressed, I'm... Speechless. I mean talk about coincidences, you have Hank's former lover here and Bethany's former lover here and I'll be perfectly candid with you; it's over-egging the pudding. It's basically making things really emotional for the sake of things being really emotional. You've got to tone it down and it would have been so much more powerful if Hank and Bethany were to have this much needed private discussion without having the baggage of two former lovers on board. Sure it would be a bit soapy but not as soap-like as this.
I mean the whole galaxy is in danger and we're getting a massive dosage of angst, messed-up love and broken relationships? It detracts from the story and oddly enough from a really good romance. I so dig Hank/Bethany but this is pushing it a bit too far. The emotional stakes are too high, unrealistically high.
At least the conversation between Karrie and Mark is a lot more reasonable and at this point more enjoyable. It feels more normal and yes there is baggage and they both have some troublesome woes, but it is done more subtly and that is where it is at. In fact Karrie/Mark are probably the most sensible and sanest couple at the moment, the rest are trainwrecks!
I'm sorry I have to be so critical, but I just feel this Maria/Hank/Bethany triangle has gone too far and beyond plausibility or realism, or beyond suspension of disbelieve. But at least you redeemed yourself with that scene between Mark and Karrie.