Date: 31 Jul 2012 00:41 Title: Part I: Balancing Equations - Chapter 3
More excellence. I like how you don't describe the loft where they're building the ship until halfway through the scene; it's dramatic because the reader doesn't realize until then how large and majestic the space is. It feels like a scene in a movie where you start with close-ups of the actors and then cut to a wide shot.
Looking forward to meeting Scotty's family!
Date: 24 Feb 2009 18:30 Title: Part I: Balancing Equations - Chapter 3
Still enjoying this on second go-around, not only for the insights into characters that I didn't catch the first time--but also for the more "realistic" world you create.
For instance...the fact that not all Starfleet Academy students are somehow expected to funnel through San Francisco, which seems like even on just EARTH alone would be a logistical nightmare, let alone the entire Federation.
I also like seeing that the cultures of various locations, to include Scotland and Maine, still have their indigenous cultures, so to speak--right down to the Corrigans saying grace at the family dinner table. And THAT in particular was a very brave choice, considering the frequent contempt towards Christianity shown by Roddenberry and a large number of Trek fans.
The final thing I notice is that you still have the credit acting as a true financial exchange medium. And that strikes me in a much more realistic way than the self-righteous stuff I saw in TNG later on.
Again, great work!
Author's Response: Sometimes I wonder if this is one of those books that's almost more fun to read the second time! And yeah, I've had a few discussions with friends about how my Academies are set up -- I couldn't fathom it all being in San Fran, either, even if that's seaside and would have served the main plot; Belfast has a strong historical connection to engineering and seemed more sane.
Really, no one's ever given me any grief as to the family saying grace. I remember wondering if they would, but it never happened. As I think it was you I said it to: I can't imagine a society that is truly all-inclusive barring Christianity.
And yeah, I don't like TNG's ideas either. Even if all the essentials of life are provided, I can't fathom any world where some currency isn't in place. It just doesn't make sense.
Thanks much for the comment!