Reviewer: Samuel Pengraff Signed [Report This]
Date: 25 Jan 2011 00:15 Title: Chapter 1

Your aptly-titled story is a fascinating intellectual dance on shifting sands. It takes a format you have used before to new heights, using the mystery of your narrator to full effect, while adding a Bailey-esque resolution.

Like Lazarus in The Alternative Factor, and Natalie’s Portman’s amazing portrayal in The Black Swan, our protagonist is bouncing from one reality to another, confused, distraught and with no idea if it will ever end. There is a ‘decision’ referred to, but also a scientific experiment (presumably gone wrong), so the story has some built-in uncertainty that the reader has no choice but to experience first hand.

I believe that self-actualization stories like Touched and It’s a Wonderful Life revolve around the growth of a central character, and require that character to return home again for the lesson they’ve learned to be fully incorporated into their being. That lesson, that the enjoyment and satisfaction of our lives is ultimately in our own hands and no further away than the absolution we so often deny ourselves, is courageously taken head on by your protagonist in a triumph of human spirit.

Also important, Touched occasionally refers to in-universe facts taken from some of your other stories, but you handle them well never requiring or insisting on familiarity with them. Touched stands on its own.

I enjoyed your very descriptive writing especially the many poignant and thought-provoking observations including, “How phenomenally conceited we can be – a revelation which we should all have the opportunity to confront.” Your protagonist might be on a Bailey-esque story arc, but is smarter than George Bailey was, and more willing to recognize and contribute to a solution. Your central character does not need a Clarence, as George did, to explain and rationalize what was happening to him.

Loved it, KC.

Sam.

Author's Response: I took awhile to respond hoping I could come up with something that didn't resemble the written equivalent of a deer in the headlights. Perhaps Lil black Dog said it best (she is obviously more quick witted than I) "Wow! Please give me a second to scrape my jaw off the floor." I am, however, pleased you liked the story, and more pleased you were able to discern as much of my purpose as you have. This story is only the synopsis of the full version I did not have time to complete before the challenge deadline ended. I hope that story lives up to this review. A great goal to keep the fire lit under me. Thanks, Sam, for the continued encouragement as I am really just happy you all let me play in your sandbox. KayCee