Reviewer: Gibraltar Signed [Report This]
Date: 16 Sep 2010 11:40 Title: Chapter 2

Yeah, I'd be leery of any aliens, no matter how hospitable, who seemed so insistent that my entire crew compliment disembark the ship simultaneously.  And shame on Tuvok for being suspicious enough to remain onboard, but not sufficiently wary to keep watch over the actions of their ‘hosts.’  And by this point in their voyage, Captain Janeway should just plain know better than to accept any situation this strange at face value, especially given how cagey the aliens here are being.

Terrific stuff so far.  Your writing flows very well, and is highly descriptive without weighing down the narrative.

 

 

Author's Response: Thank you! I gotta admit I wasn't happy with the plot as it developed but I couldn't think of any other way to make the story go like I wanted. Did you ever write something that developed a life of its own, no matter what? LOL!! This is one of those. I hope you like the ending, which I think is better than the beginning. Thank you for terrific feedback.