Date: 15 May 2013 02:49 Title: Chapter 15
Whoa, whoa, whoa ... hold on. Give me a moment ...
...
Say what? Astrid and Keene? The scene in the cargo bay was well done, again the fight sequence being a highlight. And then leading into Astrid and Keene, getting together ... wow. I feel kinda bad for the nice Astrid, the one who has no clue what she's doing here. She's getting used and abused without her knowledge. Frankly, I'm not sure which is the real Astrid between the two but the duality is there and I was reminded of it when this went down. The nice Astrid would not have done that with Keene.
Keene seems just as confused as I am. At least I have clothes on though ;)
Then we get to Sarine. He seems to be regretting that decision to toss Kalara into the brig so fast despite the evidence against her and that's a good. I was hoping with Turner showing up he'd get some time to discuss that with her as she always seems to know the right thing to say.
But it wasn't meant to be. He had to get back.
And then he comes back and is shot. Poor Sarine can't seem to catch a break. He should have kissed the girl. Always kiss the girl, Sarine.
Date: 23 Feb 2011 14:41 Title: Chapter 15
Yipes! That's a neat cliffhanger you did there. Nice to see the interaction with Turner, funny seeing Ba'el being like a rookie school boy around her. Adds a little humanity to him.
Troubling developments here with Kalara locked away and Ba'el 'kidnapped' all the while the negotiations continue and legitimate concerns are raised about Benjamini's willingness to give more away in order to secure the treaty. There's lots in the balance.
Date: 24 Jul 2010 11:21 Title: Chapter 15
The liaison between Keene and Williams was as visceral as it was unexpected. Strange bedfellows, to be sure, but each is a fierce warrior in their own right so their pairing makes sense in that respect. They’d still try to kill on another in an instant, of course, but then that’s to be expected.
As for Ba’el’s sudden predicament… not good. Not good at all.
Glad you’re back, and you haven’t missed a beat!
[Report This]Date: 10 Jul 2010 14:08 Title: Chapter 15
Astrid Williams is effing crazy. She's the scariest person in the story to me just because she's so totally unhinged! She reminds me of a more lucid version of Angelina Jolie's character in "Girl, Interrupted." Weird comparison, I know, but I can just picture the blond hair and hot body and crazy gleam in her eye that makes Keene wonder -- is she going to kill me, or have her way with me, or both? And then he goes for it.
(As an aside, I laughed out loud at your divider between the foreplay and afterward scenes ... "xxx" indeed.)
As for Ba'el -- well, that was a sweet, kind of awkward scene, there -- right up until he wound up in the dark being shot. Of course, since this is YOU writing, I'm still not 100% convinced Turner didn't purposely send him somewhere bad. But I'd like to think she's not involved. So we'll see.
Great stuff, and I hope we don't have to wait too long for more!