Reviewer: Ln X Signed [Report This]
Date: 11 Jun 2012 14:59 Title: Chapter 52

The end of the story! So here comes the monster review:

Many of the chapters were rather gripping and the interpersonal stuff was spot on. Take the Maren/Icheb part of the story and I like how they slowly evolved to overcome their differences. In terms of the characters I would guess that the big five are Beckley, Adele, Icheb, Maren and John. They seemed to receive the most amount of story and development, while everyone else merely augmented them (with the possible exception of Bashir who I think will play a far more prominent role in the next story).

You take an interesting style of focusing a lot on the characters and less so about the general plot. In fact I'm amazed the story was so gripping given throughout most of the story, the plot developments were minimal: Aris 4 incident and those destroyed cubes, the Tyndorans, Icheb being captured, and the Borg Resistance. They were probably the biggest features which drove the plot forwards. What you seemed to have done is instead lay down the groundwork for your universe, the ship and the characters. That's no bad thing either, because stories either develop the plot substantially and focus less so on the characters or do the opposite (like in this story).

You've obviously left the really hard tasks of explaining the Borg Resistance, how Icheb is involved in all this, how the Borg survived, and what the Borg intend to do for the next story. That strategy has paid off in this story, but it sets the tone for the second story in that it will probably be more heavily biased towards plot development and so forth.

Another important thing I noticed is that you have created a solid premise. We have this Starfleet ship, a mixture of Borg and Starfleet technology, and despite the sometimes minimalist description, it conjured up some very vivid images in my mind.

Another intriguing feature of this story is how its pace varied wildly. The mood of the story usually determines the pace. Sometimes the more emotive/drama scenes were more slow thoughtful pieces, while at other times they were heavily dialogue driven. Some of the more descriptive/exposition scenes tended to lull me into a certain pace of reading and then something really important or serious happened. You're good at controlling the stories tempo and getting the exposition/descriptive/dialogue balance right where the plot and the character development called for it.

Going back to the big five I thought Beckley and Adele were to very different, separate characters while Icheb, Maren and John were all like compliments of each other. Icheb and John being polar opposites (except both have feelings for Maren), while Maren is somewhere inbetween the two. A lot of the drama in this story was very heavily dependent on the Icheb, Maren and John triangle and the three character's development sort of fed off each other. Aside from Icheb, I think the most intriguing character is Beckley, using only exposition you've created a very sinister and at times strange character. As for Adele she always came off very emotive for a captain (even more so than Janeway), and at times she was surprisingly caring and considerate but could lay down her authority rather effectively...

Next up I would like to address one plot holes. This is more minor and not so much a plot hole but more a continuity thing, in that towards the later chapters it seems to be that at least two weeks have passed by since the start of the Tesseract mission. But in the last scene of the story, Janeway said three months have past? Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention to the chronology of events in this story, but it just struck me odd this discrepancy.

To sum up, giving the intriguing mysteries, the big five characters, interesting premise, engaging drama, Bashir, the Icheb/Maren/John triangle, some cool concepts and technologies, references and scenes with some of the VOY crew, the Borg and the Resistance Borg. I give this story 4 and half stars.

Looking forward to the second story!

Reviewer: Miranda Fave Signed [Report This]
Date: 21 Apr 2010 18:43 Title: Chapter 52

I had a bad feeling about this from the beginning, and I was right.

Well said John. I too had a bad feeling about the Sol and Luna heading off. I just hadn't banked on it being so bad and so chaotic! What a gloroius WTF moment there to throw us into after the warning about the Borg are coming! Question is: will they make it out of this? Who is attacking - is it the Borg? Or are you playing with us? Is the tractor beam salvation or worse? And that's more than one question ... oops!

Then we jump to Lieutenant Commander Emily Theriaultat at DS5, who admits she is a bitch and a fuck-up and has Daddy bailing her out! Within one paragraph you have me wanting to know more about this character. Alas her role here is to discover and pass on the dire news from the Tesseract.

Again, we come full circle. It began with Adele and Janeway and the passing of the torch as such. The pairing of Icheb and Adele mirrors in a way that of Janeway and Chakotay, two people very different learning to trust one another. It mirrors too the relationship between Janeway and Seven as well. Trust being a big part of it. We go back now to Janeway and I love the way you wrote this scene between her and Seven. I could feel the canon characters coming through and still feel they had made a progression and had some growth since the series end. It seems fitting that we should end with Janeway and indeed on her runmination wondering what will come of them all in the aftermath of future Janeway's actions. Full Circle indeed. Glorious stuff. I eagerly await Book 2.

Author's Response:

Ha!  John is happy someone approves of SOMETHING he's said and/or done in the last twenty chapters!  Even a small thing such as an internal monologue!

Who attacked them?  Guess you'll have to read book two.  Um.  You know.  When I write it.  (Not like you can run out and do it right now!)

With any luck, you'll be learning more about Emily Theriault soonish.  We should be seeing more of the folks from DS5, both in the Tesseract story and on their own ...

I'm very, very glad you think I did a good job with the primary canon characters.  Always hard to capture someone else's characters' voices.  I enjoyed writing them and we'll be seeing more of them in book two, as well.  They won't be the primary focus, but of course they'll be involved.  (This, after all, is the war they started.)

Thanks again for everything, the reading and support and commentary.  I so appreciate it, and I definitely hope you'll stick around for book two!