Date: 02 Jun 2013 04:45 Title: Chapter 3
These little small touches and aspects really work well with this story. Like Kozar being the last to shake Limis' hand when she was on the bridge of the Lambda Paz, all of this subtly adds up to the tension between Limis and the rest of the senior staff. So already this feels like Voyager what with the tension between the Maquis and Starfleet.
That scene with Dukat and Weyoun was very foreshadowing and illuminating. This is the first instance where Weyoun is keeping Dukat out of the loop, and the first sign of a Dominion trampling over the wishes of its Cardassian ally. Dukat now knows Cardassian and the Dominion are not pact brothers, it is now the Dominion who are really running the show. So I think somewhere deep down inside, Dukat is regretting his decision to side with the Dominion. So this scene explains some of Dukat's hints to Damar that they are going to take on the Dominion.
Though this seems pretty crazy considering how the Dominion ships probably outnumber the Cardassian ships. And Dukat plans to do when the wormhole becomes open to. So how Dukat plans to defeat thousands of Jem'Hadar ships which will come pouring out of the wormhole should Cardassia betray the Dominion beggers belief. I guess Dukat was just a crazy megalomaniac all along!
The chase scene with the Defiant was nice. The line;
“I can compensate if I lock in on anything organic. Modesty be damned.”
Was great and really made me laugh. Especially when O'Brien beamed over the now naked Bajoran man! Fire Caves kind of transporter sorcery indeed!
Author's Response: In the case of Dukat, he seemed willing to let a few things despite Damar's complaints. He even backed off rather quickly Weyoun invoked the non-aggression treaty between Bajor and the Dominion. Also glad you noticed Limis's similarities to Sara Connor in the previous chapter's comments, with the "transporter sorcery" being another nod to the Terminator movies.
Date: 17 Nov 2009 22:54 Title: Chapter 3
Your handling of the canon characters is good. A light touch with again some little introspection, like with Jadzia reflecting on her previous command experience, that adds a bit of depth and grounds the story firmly. As for your own characters, we see that there are loyalties there that will cause many problems down the line. Limis doesn't get much of a welcoming party mind! That might be her first task as commnading officer to rewrite that policy.