Date: 04 Jun 2009 23:33 Title: Part IV.
At least Corry's grown enough to handle the stress of Scott's injuries better than he did his father's illness. The walking zombie routine is achingly familiar though, for those of us who have been through it.
Nicely done.
Author's Response: Thanks. It's hard writing, this story... which is a big part of the reason why it's not done yet.
Date: 17 May 2009 19:34 Title: Part IV.
I've read all the way through what you've posted so far, but I wanted to leave my comment here because this was the section that had one of the most striking I've seen so far--at least, from a cultural standpoint (I'm certainly not dismissing the action or psychological aspects of this story--which are quite impressive).
What I really liked was seeing the beginning of the society-in-denial that I tend to portray so critically in my own work: Utopia on the surface, but almost in a state of enforce naivete when you really get down to it.
Something I was kind of curious about in this section, as well: I was wondering exactly what it was Callie did that was so hideous to provoke a reaction like that from Corry. I definitely got that she behaved in a way he found offputting, but I just wonder...did Callie end up in that same half-feral sort of upbringing as Scotty? Or is this a whole different thing going on in her case?
Overall, Scotty's parts are interesting, definitely--but I'm really finding it fascinating to watch Corry's reactions as well.
Now, regarding the last section posted (Part V)--is that the point you've written to so far, or do you have more available?
Author's Response: Callie's... an odd case. She's not feral like her brother; if anything, she's the spoiled child. The problem is, she knows that. And feels guilty about it. But because she really sucks at coping with that serious imbalance (that she lived the privileged life, while her brother didn't) she reacts pretty much how she observed her parents acting. She doesn't know, nor does Scotty, that they're only half-siblings or she would probably understand why there's such a painful imbalance there. Since she doesn't, though, her own guilt and some very poor coping skills lead her to emotional blackmail, mostly. And whooooboy, that's a fast way to turn Andrew Corrigan into a lion.
I've written more; I'll get it up eventually. And hopefully write more in this.