Reviews (0)  |  Table of Contents   |  [Report This]  |  Printer Chapter or Story
- Text Size +

Chapter Notes: This chapter takes place in-step with the episodes 'A Time To Stand' and 'Rocks and Shoals.'

WARNING: Things take a turn for the worse.

Three Months Later

Poor odds of survival, a fight with Captain Sisko, endless patients, and I haven’t slept properly ever since this little one began to grow by leaps and bounds. Julian thought tiredly as he sat in the quarters he had been assigned to rest while Sisko met with Admiral Ross and everyone else got a brief chance to breathe. He knew that he was the only one who had been given specific quarters so his pregnant self could rest; he knew he was being treated differently on purpose.

At least that’s what he’d think if he were awake to care. As soon as he had been shown quarters, however, Julian had immediately retired to the bed for rest. Miles hadn’t let him take his bag, so he only had his uniform with him, but it’s all he needed and wanted for the time being.

Over the last three months, Julian had done what he could for himself in the way of prenatal care and had found help from Jadzia in that regard. As part of her science training, Jadzia had studied a few medical things and knew enough about pregnancy that she could conduct the ultrasounds and also make sure Julian got enough to eat and drink despite the situation they were in.

The door chime rang and Julian groaned without waking, –What?” he spoke groggily.

Instead of a response, however, the door slid open and a Jem’Hadar soldier entered the room with a knife in its hand. Julian suddenly found himself shackled to an exam table so tightly that he couldn’t move, –Where am I?” Julian spoke shakily, his eyes wide with fear.

–Silence,” the Jem’Hadar soldier spoke. –It is time to extract the experiment.”

Julian’s eyes widened in horror as the Jem’Hadar came over to the table and touched his expanding belly with the tip of the knife, –This was meant to kill you and since it did not, I will take it out and you will die,” the Jem’Hadar spoke coldly. –You were not meant to survive!”

The bindings were too tight to struggle, so all Julian could do was scream as the cutting began...

*****

–Julian!”

A hand touched his arm and Julian found his entire body drenched in sweat as he opened his eyes and found that he was at a table in the social area of Starbase 375. He blinked and was surprised to see Jadzia standing at the table holding a full tray, a shocked expression on her face.

Miles suddenly came into view looking concerned, –You fell asleep and suddenly started screaming in your sleep, Julian,” he explained worriedly. –Security tried to wake you…”

Instead of responding, Julian looked down at his belly and promptly felt a gentle kick, –It’s still there,” he murmured groggily, exhaling anxiously. –The Jem’Hadar didn’t cut it out…”

Jadzia frowned as Julian’s eyes filled with tears and he began crying softly. She set the loaded tray on the table before sitting next to him, –We’re here for two weeks, so you should focus on getting as much rest as possible,” she spoke firmly. –Doctor Grayson would want that.”

Miles remained standing and nervously began to massage Julian’s shoulders rather gently in an awkward effort to calm his friend down. Julian exhaled and eyed the food nervously.

–I’m not a doctor, Julian, but food might help,” Jadzia spoke gently. –You look terrified.”

Just then, a Security officer came into the table with an anxious looking Captain Sisko, –I was told you were screaming at the top of your lungs in your sleep, Doctor,” Captain Sisko spoke in a concerned voice, frowning. –Is everything all right? I just got our orders from Admiral Ross.”

–Fine, sir,” Julian lied softly. –I’m just a little tired and hungry, but Dax got us food.”

Captain Sisko sighed, –Chief, Dax, can I have a moment alone with Doctor Bashir?” he asked in a quiet, but firm voice, as he could sense his CMO was lying simply to save face with his friends.

Julian, however, could tell what Sisko was up to and promptly grabbed a sandwich and drink container from the tray before leaving the table in silence. He walked for a long time and then silently sat down on a couch in a quiet area to eat; he didn’t want to share about his nightmare for fear the people on this starbase would find him crazy and have him committed to an asylum.

He thought often of how Doctors Girani and Grayson had sacrificed their own safety to make sure he and his unborn child got away from Deep Space Nine unscathed. Everyone had played some part in getting him to safety and he had done his best to repay him, but he was barely keeping his head above water mentally and emotionally while he was using all his physical strength to care for the baby and those in his crew. Nightmares about his experience had been expected, yes, but he had expected to have them much earlier and in complete privacy.

–Doctor?”

Julian sighed as Captain Sisko sat next to him, a concerned expression on his face, –I know this situation is taking a toll on you and I’m sorry, but there’s not anything I can do for you until after we’re done carrying out our mission,” Captain Sisko spoke gently. –Once we’re done this mission, I’m going to be seeing that you get some time to rest. I can’t promise anything…”

Nodding, Julian forced himself to sigh, –Thank you, Captain,” he replied softly. –I should eat…”

Just then, Garak came into view having been finally released after being interrogated about his knowledge of the Dominion, the takeover of Deep Space Nine, and his reason for being on the Defiant, –Mister Garak, they finally saw fit to release you, did they?” Sisko asked worriedly, looking at him with a concerned expression. –I was quite adamant that you were harmless.”

–What?” Julian replied in a shocked voice, his appetite suddenly gone. –They did what?!”

Garak, however, didn’t seem concerned by it, –It’s natural of them to be suspicious of me in these times, Doctor,” he replied calmly before frowning. –Have you gotten any rest?”
–I haven’t been assigned quarters,” Julian replied softly. –I assume everyone else has been?”

Captain Sisko’s expression darkened as he stood up, –I see I need to go remind the quartermaster that you too are a part of this crew,” he spoke in a firm, annoyed voice. –Excuse me.”

As Captain Sisko left, Garak gave Julian a curious look, but Julian simply ate the morsel of food he had on him, –We’ve been here nearly a full day and you don’t have quarters?” Garak asked in a confused, concerned voice. –Even I was assigned quarters after my interrogation.”

–I’m a pregnant Augment,” Julian replied softly. –And I’m not a priority here. We’re in a war…”

Garak scowled, –You’re pregnant and that in itself should make you a priority,” he spoke in an annoyed, upset voice, his scowl only deepening as he saw the little amount of food. –Doctor…”

–Jadzia and Miles were smothering me because I fell asleep at the table and apparently screamed in my sleep!” Julian replied irritably as he slowly got up. –I’m not in the mood to argue, Garak! I have to go find a comfortable place to lay my head and this couch isn’t even remotely…!”

Garak had heard enough; he silently took Julian by the hand and marched him down the corridor until they came to a door. He silently led Julian through the door, revealing that it was guest quarters, –You can use my bed for sleep and I will make sure you get enough to eat!” the Cardassian spoke firmly. –I know we’re in a war, but this is well past ridiculous!”

–I’ve been having nightmares for the last few months about what happened,” Julian admitted softly, his expression tired and resigned. –I overheard people on the Defiant gossiping about how I scream and cry in my sleep. I share quarters with Miles and he must have heard and shared…”

A look of understanding filled Garak’s face, –Is that why you took to sleeping in the Mess and Sickbay?” he asked quietly. –I don’t sleep well either and I did notice your nocturnal…”

Julian froze, but Garak simply escorted him into the bedroom and proceeded to settle him in the bed without offering opportunity for argument, –You’re going to stay there and sleep for as long as you need,” Garak spoke as he stood beside the bed. –Chief O’Brien has your things?”

By this time, however, Julian was half-asleep and could offer no reply except for a weak –mhm” that Garak found slightly cute. Sighing softly, Garak simply let it be and left the man to rest.
*****

–…I don’t know why he left or where he went,” Miles spoke in a concerned voice as he and Jadzia sat at the table in the starbase’s social area, having gotten more food for themselves after Julian stormed off. –I remember when Keiko and Kira were pregnant. Oh, the mood swings…”

Jadzia offered a nod, but she felt like the issue went well beyond pregnancy mood swings. She was well aware of the gossip on the ship and knew that Julian was struggling with his mental health because he had never gotten any sort of counseling about his time in the internment camp and the pregnancy was also taking a toll. She had asked Sisko if Julian could stay when they went off on their next mission, but Sisko had refused the request because Julian’s skills would be absolutely essential to the mission. He had promised, however, to look into it afterwards.

–Chief O’Brien, I need to speak with you right now!” Garak’s angry yell suddenly filled the social corridor, causing Miles and Jadzia to turn in their seats. –You’re such a prick!”

Miles frowned as Garak stormed up to their table, –I’m a prick?” he replied, confused.

–Is that not the Human term for someone who has behaved in an absolutely deplorable manner towards someone they claim is their friend?!” Garak spoke in an angry tone, his expression murderous. –You claim that Doctor Bashir is your friend and yet you blatantly neglect him, ignore his needs, and gossip about him! I don’t know how Humans define friendship…!”

Miles growled and got to his feet, –I haven’t done anything of the sort, you irritating lizard!” he snapped, annoyed that his downtime was being interrupted. –What are you on about?!”

–You and Doctor Bashir shared quarters on the Defiant and you told everyone he screams and cries in his sleep!” Garak hissed angrily. –I wasn’t aware it was so utterly fascinating to…!”

A throat cleared, –What on earth is going on here?!” an angry female voice suddenly shouted.

Miles and Garak turned to see an angry woman, Captain Sisko, and Admiral Ross coming from the direction of the command offices, –Captain Bennet, my apologies,” Jadzia spoke in a nervous voice as she stood up. –Chief O’Brien and Mister Garak were having a bit of an argument…”

–I can see that, Commander Dax,” Captain Bennet replied angrily. –What about?”

Miles and Garak exchanged a look, neither of them wanting to share and risk getting into trouble because they knew it would only worry Julian. Captain Bennet eventually scoffed before going on her way, but Admiral Ross and Captain Sisko remained in the social area.

–What exactly was the argument about, gentlemen?” Captain Sisko asked in a gentler tone.

Garak scoffed, –There’s been gossip about Doctor Bashir all over the Defiant since we escaped the station, Benjamin,” Jadzia spoke softly, her expression apologetic. –And he fell asleep here today before screaming in his sleep. Chief O’Brien and I haven’t been sure how to handle it…”

–You should have brought it to my attention, for starters,” Captain Sisko replied firmly, his upset expression indicating that he was clearly pissed off that this had been left unreported.

Admiral Ross looked equally annoyed, –After this next mission, we are going to be having words about this situation,” he spoke firmly. –In the meantime, Commander Dax, I would suggest that you and Chief O’Brien actually show a little loyalty and apologize to Doctor Bashir to any distress you may have caused him. Mister Garak, I must commend you on your…”

Garak scoffed and dismissed the compliment with a wave of his hand, –Doctor Bashir is in my assigned quarters since nobody thought to assign him any of his own. I’m not here for praise; I’m simply here to get him something proper to eat and drink. Chief O’Brien, where is his bag?”

–Um, in our quarters on the Defiant,” Miles replied. –I hadn’t thought to move it.”

Garak snarled, –He’ll be under my care for as long as we are here since you can barely take care of yourselves,” he snipped, his expression murderous. –He’s sleeping in my quarters right now.”

–That’s probably best for now,” Captain Sisko replied calmly. –If you or he need anything…”

Garak nodded, –His bag will be enough for now,” Garak spoke firmly. –Go get it, O’Brien. I’ll wait here until you bring it back and then I will be returning to my quarters.”

Captain Sisko nodded at Miles and Miles reluctantly got up and left, –Maybe in a little while after Doctor Bashir has had some food and rest, he might be amenable to receiving an apology from both of you,” Captain Sisko spoke firmly. –I expected better of you, Dax.”

Jadzia nodded, her expression one of embarrassment and shame as Sisko and Ross walked away.

********

Two Weeks, Three Days Later

Forgiveness, in reality, was not so easy to seek or receive simply because Jadzia, Miles, and the other members of the Defiant crew had been kept busy trying to learn how to operate and temporarily live on a Jem’Hadar attack ship. Their assignment was dangerous, but an order was an order and they had to do it.

Even though they had fulfilled that mission, there had been some glitches and they were all now seventeen years, two months, and three days away from any help, trapped on the cruiser with only each other for company and limited resources. Tempers were high, everything was tense, and everyone had contributed a big part of their daily rations so that Julian and the baby would be kept well fed.

The guilt was eating Julian alive, as he knew he and his child needed the food and that the others were happy to share, but he felt bad since it meant they had less for themselves. Everyone also sacrificed any rest they could get to keep him happy, comfortable, and as sane as one could be under the circumstances.

Unfortunately for him, Julian was quickly faced with a crisis and found himself trying to help the others keep safe while being the only one who had his bag rescued from the water. The Jem’Hadar ship had crash landed on a strange planet and many had lost what they had brought from Starbase 375, which was very little save for Julian simply because he needed rations and pre-natal medicine for the baby. Jadzia was also injured and he forced himself to put her needs and the symbiont’s needs above his own even though there were still hard feelings over the gossip chain on the Defiant; it was his oath to care.

And things only got worse quickly. While trying to scout for food and water for everyone, Garak and Nog ended up captured by the Jem’Hadar. There had also been a wild firefight before Julian himself had been asked to operate on a Vorta named Keevan with an audience of Jem’Hadar watching his every move. Fortunately, the surgery had been successful and Keevan was well.

Instead of being grateful for assistance, the Jem’Hadar had engaged them in a fight and Julian had been protected as much as the rest of the crew could. Ensign Gordon had ended up dead and Captain Sisko had ordered a burial detail. Jadzia, Nog, and Garak had gotten to work on making a shelter for them and while Miles had been ordered to fix the communication array, Julian had slipped off by himself. Being so close to Jem’Hadar after the internment camp shook him deeply.

As Julian walked, his realized that he himself had sustained some sort of injury in the crash because his back hurt, as did his head. He didn’t feel very well himself and he worried that everything that had happened had done irreparable harm to himself and his unborn child.

–Julian!”

Julian stopped at the sound of his name, but he quickly felt his legs give out. He suddenly felt a strong pair of arms grab hold of him, –You’re hurt!” an anxious voice filled the air. –Dax, help!”

I’m going to die…we’re both going to die. Julian thought, his mind a foggy mess as he felt his pregnant body being lifted. He had somehow passed into a semi-conscious state, but he could still vaguely hear frantic talking and he could feel various parts of himself being fussed over.

–…Get working on that array and send off a distress signal pronto, Chief!” a voice yelled.

Drops of water suddenly cascaded down his face, but Julian found himself too weak and too burnt out to see what was going on. He had pushed his mind, his heart, and his pregnant body beyond safe limits in order to do what the Federation had asked of him and now all of them were utterly broken and wasted. What a pathetic reward for doing my duty. Julian thought bitterly.

Something soft was placed under his back…it triggered pain, but nothing else.

Something cold was placed on his forehead that ran down his face…but it was soothing.

Noise filled the air…it was arguing of sorts…but Julian had no strength to wake and play referee.

Something touched his mouth and Julian nearly choked as he felt water being fed to him.

The sound of retching filled the air and Julian realized that he himself was losing the contents of his stomach even though he was semi-conscious. More noise filled the air and then nothing…

Something warm was suddenly dropped over his pregnant body and he felt his boots being removed. Talk about making him as comfortable as possible until help came filled the air. The voices began to fade.

All surroundings faded into shadows. He was alone. The light faded into absolute darkness.


You must login (register) to review.