ACT ONE
FADE IN
3 INT. DS9 - RO’S QUARTERS
Picking back up where we left it. Everyone files into the room until there are NINE people milling - Ro, Quark, Evik, Cenn, Bashir, Matthias, Nog, Candlewood and Tenmei. Every one is in civilian clothing, no uniforms.
Ro calls over the rest...
RO
Everyone put whatever you brought
on the table, there’s room.
As they shuffle the dishes around the table, making sure they all fit, Matthias nosey-pokes at Bashir’s selection...
MATTHIAS
Ooh, they look good.
BASHIR
Roasted calavian peppers and onions,
balsamic vinaigrette and my own
private blend of Nepalese herbs.
I wasn’t sure anyone else would
bring a vegetarian option.
MATTHIAS
Well, as it happens...
(uncovers her
own dish)
...Centauri frond cakes, spiced
with just a hint of tarragon.
TENMEI
Trust the medical professionals to
be all body-conscious. Luckily for
those who crave more carbs than
the body can handle... voilà!
(presents her
own dish)
Authentic Italian spaghetti
vongole! Mwwaa!
She leans over her own dish, wafting the aroma into her nose with a blissful flourish.
CANDLEWOOD
Oh, please. You people don’t know
good cooking till you grow up with
a Jewish mother. Let me show you
how it’s done.
He unwraps his own enormous offering - which is revealed to actually be three dishes rather than one, each overflowing.
CANDLEWOOD
Traditional matzoh ball soup to
start, a good ol’ juicy brisket made
to a classic Chicago recipe passed
down through about a dozen
generations, and challah bread to
mop up all the thick, meaty gravy.
RO
(w/ good humour)
Alright, alright. Let’s not turn
this into a contest already. I’m
sure they’re all delicious. The
starters aren’t quite ready yet
so grab a drink - Quark brought
the good stuff from the bar.
A bit at a time, they all drift across to Quark’s makeshift drinks station - Ro’s bank of computer consoles, draped with a patterned sheet and then arrayed with bottles of various colours and shapes and sizes.
QUARK
One at a time!
As people place their orders MOS, Quark begins mixing drinks with panache - the full “Cocktail” extravaganza.
Meanwhile Ro approaches Major Cenn, who has been hovering back, not really engaging. She tries to engage him.
RO
So what did you bring?
CENN
Oh, it’s a... it’s just a jumja
soufflé. Nothing fancy. Just...
you said to bring food from our
homes, and I used to make
this in our village in Jo’kala.
RO
I didn’t know you were from
Jo’kala! I was born in Jo’kala!
How did I not know that?
CENN
(meekly)
You never asked.
RO
Well, you know what? That’s what
this whole night is about.
She turns back to the room, and calls over the hubbub...
RO
Everyone...?
(they turn to her)
I just wanted to say thank you for
coming. We are the senior staff of
this important Starfleet facility,
and I thought it was time we all
get to know each other better.
So there are three rules.
(holds up finger)
First - no titles, ranks or family
names. Given names only.
(second finger)
Second - no shop talk. Just for
tonight, I don’t want us to be
officers or work colleagues -
I want us to be friends.
(third finger)
And third... every one of us has to
tell someone something. Doesn’t
have to be a big announcement or
anything world-shattering. Just
something you never said before.
Everyone ponders this, wondering what they will say. By now they all have drinks, Ro included.
RO
Aside from that, just relax and
enjoy. We’re all here to have a
good time.
EVIK
Hear hear! And let me begin by
thanking you, Laren...
(turns to Quark)
...and the bartender, of course...
(back to room)
...for inviting us into your home.
NOG
And thanks to Lieutenant Bowers
for running Ops with a crew full
of ensigns so we could all have
the night off.
CANDLEWOOD
(raises glass)
Cheers to that.
They all raise their glasses and toast the evening to come. That done, they go back to mingling.
Prynn approaches Counsellor Matthias, who is hovering near the table, inspecting the food.
TENMEI
Good evening, “Philippa”.
MATTHIAS
Good evening, “Prynn”.
They cheers their glasses together at the strangeness of calling each other by their first names.
TENMEI
So how’s the family?
MATTHIAS
They’re all wonderful, thank you.
The kids are both doing great
in school.
TENMEI
Arios must be almost ten by now?
MATTHIAS
Yep. And becoming more of a
teenager by the day.
TENMEI
Oh joy. Well, never mind, they
grow out of it eventually.
They notice Candlewood at the opposite end of the table, futzing around with his own food - he burns his finger and whips it away with a sharp “Ow!” Tenmei shakes her head.
TENMEI
It might take thirty years or so,
but sooner or later, I’m hoping...
MATTHIAS
To be honest, it’s nice to have a
night out on my own. Don’t tell
them I said this, obviously I love
‘em all to bits. But I am looking
forward to just being Philippa
for a night, instead of “mom”.
TENMEI
I’m willing to give baby-sitting
a shot if you want a night off
some time. I’ve looked after Pif’s
puppies, how hard can it be?
MATTHIAS
I’ll remind you you said that when
you’re cleaning paint out of your
hair. And what about you - no
sign of babies in your future?
TENMEI
Honestly, it never even occurred
to me. Is that weird?
MATTHIAS
Of course not. Parenting isn’t for
everyone. And nobody should be
made to feel bad for that.
TENMEI
It’s not like I had the most normal
family life growing up. Plus I’d
have to find a man who isn’t a
complete idiot first.
MATTHIAS
They’re out there, Prynn. Don’t
give up hope. It’s like Morn said
in his advice column - it’s a big
and crazy galaxy...
(taps her own vaguely
Vulcan-esque ears)
...especially when even being a
different species is no barrier.
PRYNN
You read Morn’s advice column?
I read Morn’s advice column!
MATTHIAS
Who doesn’t? I mean he went on
for a while after that, I drifted off.
He gets a bit speechy. But he’s
not wrong. For example...
With a smirk, she nods subtly over towards the drinks station, where Ro and Quark are chatting chummily...
RO
Seems to be going well so far,
don’t you think?
QUARK
How could it not? I am the host.
RO
Yeah, we’ll see who gets stuck
with the clean-up.
QUARK
I’ll stay.
RO
You will?
QUARK
Of course. Assuming you’re not
too tired.
RO
Too tired for what?
QUARK
(innocent)
For company. And tidying.
RO
(wary)
Oh. Okay.
Suddenly Candlewood approaches them both.
CANDLEWOOD
I see you haven’t put anything on
the table yet, Laren.
Ro looks askance at Candlewood - apparently the sass-mouth is out already. But she did ask for it.
RO
If you must know, those starters
I mentioned should be ready any
minute now.
CANDLEWOOD
Ooh, what have you got what have
you got what have you got?
RO
Spicy Jo’kala hasperat. The real
stuff, not that weak, Federation-
friendly replicated kind you get
these days. This one’ll knock
your Jewish mother’s socks off.
CANDLEWOOD
Challenge accepted! What about
you, Quark?
QUARK
You think that Aldebaran whisky in
your glass just materialised out of
thin air? You’re welcome.
CANDLEWOOD
Fair enough. Speaking of which,
it would have been nice if I could
have brought Hetik along to this
shindig. We are a couple, y’know.
RO
Yes, you’ve made that abundantly,
graphically clear, John.
CANDLEWOOD
Do you have a problem with Hetik?
RO
Of course not! In fact I think he’s
a sweet kid and he’s come a
long way. But this wasn’t a night
for bringing partners. Philippa
hasn’t brought Sibias, has she?
And none of the rest of them even
have partners that I’m aware of.
CANDLEWOOD
Well, I’m just saying it seems a
little unfair to me. I mean, you
get to bring your partner -
(re Quark)
- why not the rest of us?
As Ro and Quark both blanche at that, a small BEEP sounds from the replicator.
CANDLEWOOD
Hasperat!
...and Candlewood wanders away, distracted by the thought of imminent food.
Leaving Ro and Quark staring at each other, Candlewood having just pointed out the elephant in the room.
Are Ro and Quark ‘partners’ ? Neither of them know for sure. They haven’t discussed it, and this is not the time to discuss it now. Ro laughs it off...
RO
Children!
And she turns away to follow after Candlewood. But it is clear on both their faces that he has touched a nerve...
FADE OUT
END OF ACT ONE